Diary of a Kinky Librarian

Dinner and a Few Fucks

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008 | D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, dom, dp, edge play, horny, orgasm denial, porn, sex | 2 Comments

I got to spend time with MasterDoc last night. I asked if he wanted me to go get dinner from the kitchen and he said, “Oh we’re going to eat now? I thought we were going to fuck.” Um well, like I’m going to say no to that! He told me to assume the position for best access and I found a position on the floor, on my knees, head down, ass up, legs apart. I lingered in that position for a while while he watched some porn.  He’d smack my ass every so often. I was getting turned on just being exposed to him like that, being left waiting for the fucking I was coming to want more and more. He finally came over and slid his cock into me. He fucked me for a bit, getting me really aroused. He stopped and put more lube down there and soon I felt a finger against my asshole. I moaned and pushed back on his cock and the finger. He slid his thumb in my ass and fucked me with the thumb inside me. I was a horny slut just loving the feeling of being penetrated in two holes. I begged to be allowed to come but he kept me on the edge. He’d fuck me hard and I’d beg even harder. Finally, he allowed me to come - under the caveat that I should under no circumstances push his cock out. I still haven’t quite gotten the hang of coming while not contracting - I rode this orgasmic wave for a while, semi-coming. I’m not sure if he pulled out or if I eventually pushed him out despite my efforts, but then he was fingering me, hard. I came and came and came. He really fingered me for a while. I’m a lucky girl! I was amazed by how long I could keep coming and coming.

After the fucking he sent me to get dinner from the kitchen. The food was a little so-so after sitting for a while and he couldn’t resist saying to me, “Well YOU wanted to fuck before dinner!”

After dinner we’re sitting on the sofa and he gets an idea (I can see this on his face). He holds out his thumb and says, “Suck my thumb.” I think ok, cool, submissive act, etc. but as I’m moving my head towards his thumb it dawns on me - that thumb had been up my ass. Eww. But I felt that by this time I had agreed to suck it and I couldn’t stop at that point (I was quite in submissive mode). He asked if I could taste my ass on it and I said no (thankfully!). He had been watching my face wondering at what point I realized that it was the thumb used on my ass. I explained that it hit me before I got it in my mouth.

We fucked some more, with me on my back. Again I begged to be allowed to come, but this time he didn’t give permission. He talked about fucking me up the ass and he realized that the bed would be better for that so we moved to the bedroom.

He had me set up some porn on the laptop and he fucked me some more, but not up my ass just yet. I begged to come but wasn’t allowed. We rested for a bit and he told me to find more porn online. I asked what category and he initially said anything I want, but then said, “No. Search for piss.” MasterDoc has been threatening to piss on me (and in my mouth) for as long as I’ve known him. It’s constantly hanging over my head. Piss play is not my kink, I have no problem with people indulging in it if that’s what they like but watching the piss porn just made me nauseous. (These women were soaked in the piss of several men and they spit it from mouth to mouth.) After we fucked (he never did fuck me up the ass. Pity, as I thought I might be able to come that way and not have to worry about my vaginal muscles pushing out), I curled up and tried not to watch the porn. I had complained that I was still horny (having been fucked a couple of times and not allowed to come, despite the orgasms I had earlier in the evening) and MasterDoc came up with an idea - I could play with my bullet vibe and make myself come, but I had to watch the piss porn while doing it. Yes, I can tell he is trying to condition me to like piss play. It was so hard to watch the piss porn as it’s totally not erotic to me, but I was so horny that I managed to sorta block out what I was watching and I had a great trembling orgasm. Thankfully, I was allowed to not watch after I came.

While we were hanging out after, MasterDoc said something about wanting to train me to orgasm less. Argh! If that’s not cruel and unusual punishment I don’t know what is. Orgasms are good. I just see myself walking around in a state of total frustration (and bitchiness) if I had fewer orgasms - particularly if he fucks me just as much and gets me so worked up.

I’ve got a writing assignment to do this week (I’m not seeing him again for a week, sigh) - I have to write an erotic account of what I’d like to happen next time I see the woman I went down on at the party last Friday. She was going to come play with us last night but mother nature intervened (period). I’ve been given permission to call her up and after setting up plans for Wednesday with MasterDoc and I, I can see if she’s available over the long weekend for me to see alone. Rowr. After I went down on her the other night she told me I’m really good at it, and as we said goodbye she gushed how she was so happy to have met me. Hee hee. I so infrequently get the attention of ladies I’m thrilled when it actually happens.
Today I was chatting with MasterDoc online and the idea of him having a live-in submissive came up, and he said he’s sure I’d freak out if he did that. And yes, I had to admit I would - and I realized that strangely, I’d be upset to have someone else doing the chores I do around his place. But after that I realized, duh, I’m a submissive, I should enjoy serving. I’d feel somehow less useful to him if I didn’t help around the house. Ultimately the big thing I’d be upset over is the idea of someone else getting time with him when I want to be spending time with him. I want more time with him, not less.

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I’ve put a new template into wordpress - pretty template but it does some weird things to my side bar (now the digsby widget and my list of categories are underneath everything, rather than to the right). Maybe I should just let the Curmudgeony Librarian work on my site when he gets time. I got mentioned on fleshbot and my site stats have soared over the past day. Cool beans! I love a larger audience for my exploits.

Sex for All

Sunday, August 24th, 2008 | best sex bloggers, sex, sex parties, sexuality | No Comments

Wrote an essay on the beauty of real bodies over at bestsexbloggers.com.

Pool Party

Sunday, August 24th, 2008 | D/s, bdsm, blow jobs, cunnilingus, englishman, flogging, sex parties, spanking, squirting, sybian | 1 Comment

On Friday, MasterDoc and I talked extensively about my problem with him reading email. While we don’t agree 100%, I do feel better now that we’ve spoken and he has fully explained his reasons. It’s been decided that he’ll have the passwords to my collarme and fetlife profiles and will get to see the particular exchange he wanted to see earlier this week. I’m allowed to note that he has access on those profiles and have already done so.

As I thought about the situation and how I reacted earlier this week, I realized that while I want to give up control, I’m also incredibly fearful of giving up control. So every now and then I have these little bouts of panic where I act up and get defiant. Giving up control is scary. It doesn’t matter how trustworthy the person is (and MasterDoc is trustworthy) it’s still scary to me. But on the other hand I also think that if I was able to do it it might be very freeing for me after I get over the fear.

On Friday night we went to a private pool party. The heated pool was quite warm, like bathwater early in the evening and like a hot tub later that night. I don’t think I’ve ever gone swimming naked before and it’s interesting how much tits float.  We took some time to settle in and I dipped in the pool before MasterDoc. He was busy setting up the sybian, which we brought along for the pleasure of the female guests. He then got roped into taking pictures, so I found myself in the pool, with an Englishman reaching out for me to join him and his lady (and as you may well know I have a fetish for English accents) but I had to decline, saying that I needed my Dom’s permission first. It was a big bummer but I got out and went seeking permission. MasterDoc was too busy so I just ended up getting back in the pool to relax in the warm water. More time went by and eventually MasterDoc got away and got into the pool with me. I whined a little about how I could be having fun but when he’s distracted I can’t get permission to have any fun. After some talking, he told me that I was allowed to find the Englishman and fuck him, but if anyone else tried to join in I had to say that I had to get my Dom’s permission first.  So I went off to find the Englishman.

I found him upstairs, watching a couple fooling around. I walked up behind him and started stroking his ass gently. “You got permission?” he asked and I said yes. We went into another bedroom and he lay down on the bed. I bent over and started sucking his cock to get it hard (and like most Englishmen he was uncircumcised). Just then, the couple in the next room started making noise again and he wanted to go watch. So we went in, and it turns out they were just finishing up, so he went down stairs and ran into his lady and went off with her. Phooey! So I didn’t get any English cock that night. I wonder how things would have been different if I could have joined in when he first reached out for me. It’s hard to have to sorta reject someone when you really don’t want to reject them, and then to go back later and expect them to be all up for it when you’ve gotten permission to act. Going to a party as a sub is very, very different than when I went as a single woman. I have many limits as a sub that I didn’t have when I was solo.

I got whiny again and MasterDoc decided to take me upstairs and beat my ass. He used his hands, he used the rough pedicure thingy that works well as a stingy paddle. He got me sore and red, then got out the floggers. By this time people were popping in to see what was going on. He flogged me with the stingy little flogger, then with the thuddy big flogger. He let someone else hit my ass but he didn’t realize that she was going to use an implement rather than her hand. I think someone else got to spank me a bit as well, someone who kept massaging my ass between each smack gave me a little bit of a spanking. Since I wasn’t told to lift my head up (I was on my knees on the bed, ass in the air) I couldn’t see who did it and I have no idea to this day. The spanking went on for a bit, with MasterDoc flogging me some more. One woman apparently watched a bit, not sure she was into it, but then when her guy tried to get her away to play she wanted to watch me get beaten just a little more.

We took a break and the crowd dispersed. We cuddled a bit and I got a little scolded for being whiny. I feel shy in new social situations and a way I get comfortable is to dive in and begin fucking. I suppose I fuck first, become friendly later. To have to be social in the normal way was really difficult for me and I ended up feeling really out of place and uncomfortable. Other people were fooling around, fucking, riding the sybian and I was just left on my own, shy and bored. At any rate, we hugged on the bed and that helped me feel better. MasterDoc wasn’t any more thrilled than I was that he had been pressed into taking photos.

We went downstairs, watched more sybian riding going on and hung out. We got to talking with a couple, the woman had just been on the sybian. She was outrageously curvy, looking a lot like the Venus of WIllendorf. Narrow waist, big voluptuous hips and big tits. Many people would call her fat, but I think she was curvy in just the right places. We talked for a while with the couple, and MasterDoc offered that the guy could fuck me. So he came over to the sofa while MasterDoc went and sat in the chair with his lady. We start out stroking each other’s genitals, nibbling on necks, but before long he gets on his knees in front of me and starts eating me out. Whoo, and he’s good at it. I get really worked up and he starts fingering me as well. I writhe, moan and get really horny. I open my eyes at one point to look at MasterDoc and ask if I have permission to come. He said that permission was implied. And so I focused on the tongue and lips on my clit and the fingers working in and out of me and I started to come, screaming as usual. I writhed and moaned and gasped. I came really hard, squirted all over the couch, and kept on coming as he kept up the stimulation. I was so tensed from the orgasms that my shoulders began to hurt. I asked for a break and while he backed off somewhat, he kept licking my clit. I came again and again asked for a break. This time he let me relax. We sat close together on the sofa and I thanked him. We chatted with MasterDoc and this guy’s lady. I was much happier than I had been earlier, now that I had a screaming orgasm.

In a little while we ended up in the pool again, which by this time had steam rising off the water. It was actually a little bit too warm but we soaked with others for a while. This cute, curvy woman we had been talking to came over and ultimately she ended up sitting on the edge of the pool with her legs on either side of MasterDoc’s head. She played with his hair (he was facing out, not towards her crotch) and I reached out and stroked his cock. I reached up and played with her nipples, asking her how she liked it - rough or gentle. She said rough so I began twisting and pulling and she closed her eyes and moaned a little. The three of us just hung out, touching and petting. Eventually MasterDoc got out from between her legs and I got in between to lick her clit. I sucked and licked and flicked at her clit as she moaned and panted. She told me I was good at that and from the angle I was in I was able to look up and watch her face while I ate her out. She had me stop after a while and she told me that I’m very good at that and that it made her all breathless. It feels really good to be told that.

The pool was too hot so we got out and ended up on the sofa again. After some more talking, MasterDoc decided to put me on the sybian. I set it up and got on. He controlled the vibration and I ground my clit into the machine. He got me really hot and when I asked to be allowed to come he made me ask again, louder and louder until people could hear me. He teased me for a bit and I begged for orgasm. Finally he let me and I screamed, moaned, my vagina clenching the dildo of the sybian. I had a wonderful orgasm. Again, I was a happy girl. Soon I ended up on my knees in front of MasterDoc, sucking his cock while he relaxed in a chair. I got him hard and he decided to fuck me. I kneeled on the chair, facing the back and he fucked me from behind. Oh it felt so good. While the sybian often numbs me this time I could feel his cock thrust in and out of me quite well. I asked for permission to come, and he let me after a few moments. I tried initially to not let my muscles push his cock out, but then realized he hadn’t told me I had to do that, so I just came. Of course my muscles pushed him out but he took over with his fingers and had me screaming and gasping as I leaned over the chair and came.

There was one more lady who needed a ride on the sybian, a lady who had played with us before at MasterDoc’s once. He put her on and took the controls (please note that every lady who used the sybian had to wash it after use). He got her worked up, then waved me over to start spanking her ass. I slapped and spanked as she moaned and he worked the controls. It was really hot to watch, even though I couldn’t see her face. MasterDoc focuses intently on the lady he’s working over and it was really fun to watch him at work. He knows just when to play with a nipple, just when to reach around and slap the ass. He strokes and pets and works the woman into a frenzy.

After she came, it turned out there was yet another woman who hadn’t gotten to ride and of course MasterDoc was happy to oblige. I had fun watching again, this time from a different angle where I could see the lady’s face. Her husband would help her stroke her clit (we’ve misplaced the attachment that helps raise the nubbly part of the pad to clit height) or stroke her ass. MasterDoc would crank the dial up to the highest setting and still she wanted more. He worked her over, made her come again and again.

It was really late, and after the last lady we started to pack up. I got a warm goodbye from the lady who I had licked earlier and I hope we get to play with her again. I loves me those curvy women. Rowr. We gave a ride to the subway to the couple who used the sybian last and they were really nice to chat with on the way. It was dawn by this time and we were both getting sleepy. We went through a drive through for breakfast and ate on the way home. It was light out by the time we got into bed, around 8 a.m. or so. I slept the day away and didn’t get up until 4-ish. We hung out, had a late lunch (or was it early dinner?) and MasterDoc got some cleaning out of me as well as a back massage. It grew late and I knew that Davey was expecting me home so I headed out around 8:30. I was so tired from messing up my sleep schedule that I went to bed early (10:30) and slept the night through. I woke up early today feeling refreshed.

Submission, Trust, and Really Letting Someone In

Thursday, August 21st, 2008 | D/s, submissive, trust | 2 Comments

For many people, D/s is something they play at. They’re Dominant or submissive during playtime but go on with their lives outside those roles otherwise. I was like that for a very long time, until I met MasterDoc. My relationship with MasterDoc is my first truly D/s relationship. I submit to him more or less all the time (heh, he’d probably say less, especially lately… I’ve been obstinate this week.) This is a challenge to me as I have an independent streak and sometimes just want to be left to my own devices. Being someones submissive, truly being it and not just playing for a period of time is a big commitment. It requires opening yourself up to someone in a way that vanilla relationships don’t generally require. It requires tremendous trust.

For me, letting someone in completely feels like presenting them with an open wound to poke at. It feels beyond vulnerable. It scares the bejeezus out of me. And I suppose I worry that I won’t recover from doing it. Being someone’s submissive really requires placing a tremendous amount of trust in one human being. More trust than I’ve ever placed with any human on this planet. Now of course I go into this knowing I have a choice. At any time I can say I don’t want to do it any more and I can stop being his submissive. But on so many levels I love doing it. I like the challenge, I like the idea of being able to really trust someone with all my thoughts and foibles. I just think it may take the rest of my life to get there. I’ve always been someone who, to my detriment, bottles things up inside. In many ways I’m tightly wound. I have a hard time expressing difficult emotions, particularly in a mature and constructive way. I have a hard time trusting. I grew up with a mother who would tell family friends (and acquaintances) embarassing and personal things about me at the drop of a hat (she still does and she wonders why I never call her or tell her much of anything about my life), so of course I have a hard time trusting. (And sadly, I sometimes suffer from her particular stupidity of not realizing that someone might not want me to share the info I’ve just shared about them. I try very hard to rein it in, however.)

There was a situation recently which I have a hard time with. MasterDoc asked for my password to a site so he could read my correspondence there. I have a hard time with him reading correspondence with someone else because I feel that whoever’s writing to me has a right to expect that I’m the only one who reads their email. (I ultimately didn’t give him the password.) What if they tell me something in one of those emails that they would tell me but not MasterDoc? It’s really not fair on the other person. MasterDoc raised the issue that I need to trust him that he wouldn’t abuse such power and wouldn’t suddenly micromanage and read all my messages. And you know, I’m sure he wouldn’t abuse it, but I still have reservations about him reading other people’s mail to me. To any subs who read this blog - do you have to provide access to your online accounts to your Dom? Does he/she read stuff that’s sent to you from others that was meant for your eyes only? How do you feel about this? How do the other people feel about this, if they know? I know if I sent emails to someone, expecting that only they would see it, I would be pretty pissed off to find out that they let someone else read all my thoughts and confessions. I see this as an ethical quandary. I also want to keep a certain amount of privacy for myself (a big part of why I identify as sub but not slave) and not have to write every email wondering if perhaps MasterDoc is going to read it and how he might react to it. (He agrees that I should have some amount of privacy.) I treasure my freedom of speech, I’m a librarian after all, but it’s arguable that I should feel comfortable telling him anything and everything I tell another person.

But what would happen if I trusted? What am I worried about? I truly and completely believe that MasterDoc would not abuse such power. Ultimately, he expects that when he tells me to do something that I will do it (of course I can have the expectation that he will always do so with care for my well being and best interests). He’s never done anything that could be construed as untrustworthy. He’s never put me in a situation where I was traumatized. Most of the time he leads me into the most delightful of situations, and always he keeps an eye out for my well being. So I find myself giving a lot of thought to what it means to truly submit and while a part of me balks at it part of me feels that it’s really what I want to do. It’s just scary opening yourself and your life up to someone like that. It’s not easy giving up that much control. I hope I can manage to really open up, for the first time in my life. It’s a struggle for me and will continue to be so.

HNT!

Thursday, August 21st, 2008 | Uncategorized, hnt | 2 Comments

Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday everyone.

“You Suck Some Mean Cock.”

Sunday, August 17th, 2008 | bdsm, spanking, swinging | 3 Comments

I’ll get to the title of this entry later.

I spent all day Friday with MasterDoc. It was hard though because I was premenstrual and really moody. We fucked in the late morning and while I got turned on by his treating me rough, a part of me, the part that was really sensitive emotionally didn’t like being handled so roughly. The spanking didn’t hurt so much as it just seemed to me to be very rough. Despite this, I got all worked up and begged to be allowed to come but didn’t get permission to come that time. I needed cuddles afterwards and all day just felt like I wanted to be petted. It was probably just my mood but I felt like he was really critical of me, and as usual I get hard on myself when I feel like he’s being critical. (We had a talk later about how I need to not be so hard on myself and trust his judgment of me as a sub. If he says I’m a good sub then I shouldn’t fret about my imagined shortcomings.) I was cranky, and MasterDoc wasn’t in a good mood either because he had somehow lost the adapter to his laptop. It just seemed to vanish as it wasn’t anywhere it could possibly be. So the two of us started off Friday evening a little cranky. Now, I wasn’t feeling down all day, it just came up over and over again. We had some good cuddles and I took a bit of a nap in the afternoon.

MasterDoc had discovered a thick wooden spoon and man does that thing sting! He told me that every time I forgot to address him with “Sir” while I had the collar on he would spank me with the spoon. (He had spanked me with the spoon when he was rough earlier.) Argh! Do you know how hard it is to remember to put Sir at the end of every single sentence you speak? It drove me nuts. I felt like there was no way I could do anything but fail. I got wound up and felt like I couldn’t speak up because I had the collar on. One thing I don’t have a clear sense of is how to be submissive yet convey my needs when it’s really needed. I had mentioned earlier that I was feeling super sensitive and it was nothing personal, just hormonal. So since I had my collar on and felt like I couldn’t complain I just stewed until I virtually blew up. Not good. We stopped off at his friend’s place before going to the swing club and took some time to work on our moods. We were both feeling better by the time we left. When I’m premenstrual it’s really a challenge to be submissive.

Still we both managed to perk up and head to the swing club, and what a night to go. The place was busy and a lot was going on. I haven’t had such a good time at a club in a while. I mean, I always have a good time with MasterDoc, but this was an especially good time. We ended up on a bed in the bdsm room. (Where else would you find us? Unless of course you’re talking about the exhibitionists’ room.) I was very focused on MasterDoc and not really noticing what went on around me (if anything). He had me suck his cock for a while, then he had me undress. I lay close to him on the bed and we kissed for a little bit. He played with my clit, getting me worked up. I was breathing heavy and aching to come. He decided to fuck me from behind so I got on my hands and knees. I think this drew a bit of a crowd, particularly when he let me (after much begging) have an orgasm, but I had to make sure my vaginal muscles didn’t push his cock out. It cut down on the pleasure of the orgasm by about 50%, but it was an orgasm just the same and I made quite a racket as usual.

We lay down for a bit and cuddled. He started spanking me, spanking my pussy and thighs then flipping me over to spank my ass. And this time it wasn’t too rough, this time it got me really hot and breathing heavy. An Indian guy came over and MasterDoc told me to lend him a hand. I stroked the stranger’s cock and he asked if he could suck me. MasterDoc granted him permission and the guy got down between my legs and licked my clit. It felt good and when he slid his fingers inside me I was delighted to find that he knew what he was doing. He knew where the g-spot is. When you fool around with someone new you just never know if they’re going to be any good or not and it’s a nice surprise when they really know what they’re doing. Soon I was begging MasterDoc for permission to come and he let me, I came loudly, screaming, over and over again. The guy got down to lick my clit some more and I came some more and this time I squirted. I think it took him by surprise as he sat right up and switched to fingering me again. This guy just would not stop with the fingering and while it felt good he was putting a bit too much pressure on the g-spot. Still, I had many orgasms at this man’s hand and had MasterDoc holding me during, telling me I’m a good girl.

Eventually I really needed a break  (yes, even I need a break from coming every now and again) and MasterDoc shooed the guy away, of course making sure I thanked him first. MasterDoc had me suck his cock some more and I was hard at work when a woman walked into the room and told him that he should be telling me how good it feels when I suck his cock. In typical MasterDoc style he didn’t say something romantic or something like, “Yeah babe that feels good,” he said, “You suck some mean cock.” We both burst out laughing. I don’t know that the woman got the humor of the situation but it is just so like MasterDoc to phrase it that way. He added after that what he really should have said for effect was, “Bitch, you suck some mean cock.” Hopefully those of you who know MasterDoc will appreciate the humor of the situation. As I write this I’m not sure that people who don’t know him personally will get the joke. But hey, it was nice to hear that I suck some mean cock.

He fucked me some more and this time there was more of an audience. What was kind of surreal was this black guy walking around, stroking himself while playing with a dildo in his ass. Later on he found a woman to play with the dildo for him and we got to watch as he was bent over leaning onto the spanking bench, a whole crowd watching him get buggered with a nice sized dildo. It was hot.

Our pal from earlier stopped by again, wanting to play with me some more. MasterDoc let him finger me a bit, but then the guy asked to fuck me, and MasterDoc let him. His fingering was better than his fucking, but it was fun nonetheless. He came pretty quickly and I didn’t manage to come. I was pretty worn out from coming earlier, to tell the truth. Before we left MasterDoc gave me a bit of a spanking/flogging on the spanking bench and other women wanted to try out the flogger on their asses (one climbed on top of me to get her spanking. Rowr. Hot.) It was a wild night. And to think, we both started out in bad moods but in the end we had a spectacular time. I’m so glad we manage to cheer up when we put our minds to it.

Happy HNT

Thursday, August 14th, 2008 | hnt | No Comments

It’s late in the day (heck it’s Friday in some parts of the world!) but here’s my half nekkid Thursday post for this week.

Yup those are my legs, clad in ever-sexy fishnet stockings. Rowr. The heels are a rarity

Service

Thursday, August 14th, 2008 | D/s | No Comments

I wasn’t going to write about my evening with MasterDoc last night because nothing especially interesting happened. But he thought I should write about it to show newbie subs that submission is not all about hot sex. MasterDoc is working long hours this week so I knew he would be tired when he got home last night. I got to his place before he did and I ran the dishwasher. Since I spilled a little of the powdered detergent on the floor I decided to sweep the kitchen floor (it needed it). I had some time to shower, relax, read, watch Cash Cab, before MasterDoc got home.

He called and had me come downstairs to bring stuff up from the car when he got there. He parked and got home a several minutes later (ah the joys of city parking!). He was worn out after working 36 hours in two days, followed by a visit to the gym. I knew he’d be desperate for a bath after sleeping at work the night before, so I offered to draw him a bath. I ran the bathwater while we ordered take out for dinner. He asked for water so I got it for him (frequently I anticipate that he would want it but last night I didn’t). After his bath we watched tv, waited eagerly for the sushi we ordered and just generally hung out. He was tired and I was feeling mellow so we were both fairly quiet. The sushi finally arrived and we ate.

After, we watched a little of the Olympics but then MasterDoc decided to go read (of course a librarian would tend to go for men who are readers, what did you expect?) and I picked up my book. He had me charge his cell phone and set him up for bed time. We cuddled a bit then both read some more. He went off to sleep as I finished the chapter I was on.

Pretty dull, huh? But there was the D/s dynamic still present, I was in the mindset of making his life easier and more pleasant. Yes it’s more fun to serve him by sucking his cock and being the body his flogger hits, but I felt good about being of service nonetheless. One of the things I love about D/s is the fact that in their own ways the Dom and sub take care of each other. I took care of him by drawing a bath, fetching him anything he wanted, and just generally being helpful. He takes care of me by always being available to talk to, giving guidance (sometimes whether I want it or not lol) and he even tried to get a posting on Fetlife taken down when it talked about the guy who assaulted me. (He wanted to get it down before I saw it, but I had already seen it. No matter. But I’m really touched that he would do that for me, or at least try to.) So while D/s is about consensual inequality, there’s something in it for both the Dom and the sub. The sub just ends up doing more chores. *grin*

More Coming on Command

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008 | D/s, bdsm, dom, orgasm on command, porn, sex | 1 Comment

Last night I went over to MasterDoc’s. We had dinner and watched a movie, pretty normal stuff. Then he put porn on the laptop and that was the start of something really hot. We watched bdsm porn. This German porn actress was doing her first bdsm porn scene (I think). A sadistic English guy tortured her nipples, spanked her, flogged her, all while her arms were tied behind her back. Then she got retied into this bent over position and he fucked her, vaginally and anally. I’m drawing a blank on how the scene ended, as by that time I was being fucked silly by MasterDoc.

While warming up, we both watched the porn, and he let me use my bullet vibe. I was hot and wet in no time. It really is amazing how much hotter I get watching bdsm porn than regular porn. I was so on the edge of coming, and we hadn’t even started yet. I ached to be fucked while keeping myself warm. I got so wildly turned on imagining myself in the actress’ place.

He had me get on my hands and knees and he fucked me from behind. My job was to make sure the laptop didn’t go into screensaver mode - now being fucked hard while being incredibly turned on is not conducive to keeping an eye on a laptop. I would be clenching my eyes shut, moaning, begging to come when suddenly MasterDoc would smack my ass and remind me of my job. I tried watching the porn so I could notice when the screensaver came on, but I would always get distracted by the tingling in my cunt. He spanked my ass intermittently and would thrust hard for a while until I was a blithering, begging mess, then slow down slightly. He kept me on the edge, something he’s gotten frighteningly good at. I don’t know if I have ever begged as hard to come as I did last night. Maybe that other time recently when he really worked me over. I was desperate to come. I cannot convey to you how my body felt - tingling, tense, dying for release. While it was torture it all felt so good at the same time. I tell you, who needs drugs when you’ve got sex?

He fucked me for a while, til I was out of breath and off in another world. We lay down next to each other and I caught my breath. He reached over and started playing with my clit. He commented on how he hasn’t really paid a lot of attention to stimulating my clit. (I really enjoy penetration, although obviously from my love of the bullet vibe on my clit I like clitoral stimulation as well. Heck, I just like stimulation.) He played with my clit, getting me even more worked up than I was before. Eventually, he told me to come and of course I came on command. I moaned and screamed (he had to tell me more than once to shut up). He alternated fingers inside me and fingers on my clit. I don’t know exactly how long I came but it was good and long. I was just speechless afterwards. (But soon found my voice to say, “Thank you, Sir.”)

Words cannot describe how amazingly good I felt. I am at a loss to adequately describe it so you, the reader, can feel what I felt. We lay close together and I felt both satisfied and ready for more. After a bit of a break, we ended up kissing. I still yearned for him so I kissed back passionately. We made out for a while and I got more and more turned on. After a little while of making out, he puts his hand in my hair, grabs a handful and says, “I want you,” pause for another kiss, “to come now.” Oh my god. My entire body spasmed and I had an incredible orgasm purely from the sound of his voice and the feel of his hand in my hair. He held me as I came, telling me what a good girl I am. I came for a while, probably only seconds when it comes down to it, but it wasn’t a quick little orgasm. Guys, if you can get a woman into that state you can get her to do anything. I thanked my lucky stars that I had met MasterDoc.

He hadn’t come yet, so he had me play with his ass while he stroked himself and watched the porn some more. I kneaded his ass cheeks as his breathing got shorter. It seemed like he was on the edge for a moment or two. He came and I stupidly stopped playing with his ass. I really should know better, he likes me to continue doing it for a little while even after he’s come. He had me wipe up the come, get us some drinks of water and we gradually wound down until it was bedtime. We cuddled for a while then went off to sleep.

I think this whole coming on command thing proves the point that the brain is the largest sex organ in the human. He is so good at getting inside my head, at knowing what turns me on, at getting me into a desperate state physically and mentally. I can’t wait for the next time.

The US Can Be Religiously Oppressive, Too

Tuesday, August 12th, 2008 | Uncategorized | No Comments

I debated putting this post up. After all, I don’t really know Catalina, we’ve only become friendly recently online. But then I read an article about the insanely silly oppression going on in Saudi Arabia in the name of morality, and I realized that we like to think, “Oh those poor middle easterners, that would never happen here.” But religious nuts (and just nuts of the general variety) will try to impose their system of morality on people in every country. A “christian” educator is trying to prevent Catalina’s daughter from continuing on at the school where she used to work because of what Catalina gets up to (things like sex work, sex blogs, blah blah blah, if it’s sex these nuts don’t like it). It’s bad enough that someone can’t focus their energies on sexuality without losing their job, but for their child to lose out on an education at the school where she’s been going is just wrong. I’m going to send a little off to help and here’s the scoop for those of you who would like to know more. I also decided to put it up because Catalina has gone through the trouble of setting up a raffle - so it’s not just asking for money, it’s a charity raffle and you KNOW you’ve given money to enough of those - why not one for one in our community?