Archive for the 'cunnilingus' Category

We Actually Went Out

Published on October 10, 2011 in anxiety, bdsm, blow jobs, cunnilingus, D/s, forced orgasm, orgasm on command, sex, spanking and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

My extreme homebodiness gave me a little reprieve Friday night. I didn’t feel averse to going out, and got to go out with MasterDoc for the first time in a while. (DeeDee was unfortunately sick and stayed home.) For a total change of pace, we started the night in the bdsm club. There was a presentation arranged by a local group before the club opened. The topic sounded interesting and so we went. Hey, how bad can a talk and demonstration of kinky stuff be?

Now I won’t name names because I don’t want to be bitchy towards the person who presented or the people who arranged it. But despite good info and good demonstrations (the demo model was just adorable and they had great chemistry) the presentation was amazingly tedious. I didn’t know anyone could possibly make bdsm THAT boring. I wanted to hit my head against the wall. I pictured the episode of The Young Ones (called “Boring”) where Rik breaks down sobbing because Neil the hippie is taking a long time to explain something and it’s horribly boring. I felt like Rik.

The hour or so of lecture was mostly painful, but even after we didn’t opt to stay at the club. We rarely go to this club because although they have lots of bdsm equipment, there’s no sex allowed. (NYC law. No alcohol either.) MasterDoc and I both like our bdsm with sex ultimately.

We went to the usual swing club. It was fairly busy when we got there, and became even busier later. MasterDoc nearly got distracted by the ladies around us but then remembered that the best way to handle me is to make me come first. After that I’m pretty mellow for the rest of the evening. We commandeered the large bed and MasterDoc went down on me. I strangely had a strong negative reaction to this. I’m not big on oral these days. I preferred it to sex when I was much younger, but now I’d rather have the sex. And since we were in public, I was in my collar and people were watching, it made me uncomfortable to have MasterDoc going something that seems like servicing me. While he and I are both of the opinion that if a Dom wants to eat pussy, then (s)he should do as (s)he damn well wishes. The act itself isn’t necessarily submissive. But I know that other people might see it differently, and I felt uncomfortable having my Dom seem less domly in public. I couldn’t come even though I tried to close my eyes and focus on the sensations of his tongue.

We took a break, and MasterDoc said that it’s ok, we weren’t on a schedule. I explained to him my reaction, and I don’t think he expected that to be the issue at all. He had me suck his cock, and I was better able to get into subspace and enjoy myself then. He got into Dom mode and started making me gag on his cock. I loved it. Saliva was running out of my mouth. He slapped his cock against my face and then shoved me down on it again. I love this sort of play lately. One time he gagged me enough that I was feeling kinda floaty by the time I got air in. I like when it gets that way. My jaw became a bit sore, but I wanted to make him feel good and to perform well in front of the people around us.

Our friend Veronica came in and started playing with a couple of guys. She’s cute so it’s quite nice to see her naked and fooling around. MasterDoc flipped me over at one point, and made me come by slapping my ass and cunt. It felt good to come. My eyes clenched shut and the world around me receded. I did wonder to myself if my orgasm faces were making any of the men around me hot. As I think I’ve said before, while I love knowing there’s an audience, I mostly prefer not to look at them.

I sucked MasterDoc’s cock hard again. (Complete with more choking. I think both of us like it when he’s all rough and dominant with me with an audience. While heading out for the evening, I got hot thinking about being his dirty slut.) He fucked me from behind, and goddamn did I come! He surprised me with lots of intense pounding. For a moment I thought the pain of my pummeled cervix would be too much, but then I came some more and forgot about it. It actually might have added to the experience. I could feel my tender cervix for hours after.

The club was unusually busy, and the owner pressed MasterDoc and I into service with hanging up coats and giving tours. I grinned as MasterDoc got to lead around a pack of attractive women. He had turned on the charm and it was cute to watch. Despite my feeling shy, MasterDoc made me help out and give a tour. It went okay as the couple was nice. The woman was quite heavy, and yet I thought she was kinda sexy. Of course, I think more than a few people thought we worked there by the end of the evening.

MasterDoc sat among the lovely ladies he gave the tour to earlier. A couple of people asked what’s in our large toybag. MasterDoc showed them. One of the ladies commented on how he has a pretty woman (me) and that he’s lucky. I grinned as this triggered his, “She’s the lucky one” story.

MasterDoc rightly points out that how he gets attractive women is by honestly believing that the woman is the lucky one to be with HIM. With some men this would be delusional, but with MasterDoc it’s true – I’m lucky to be with him. (He will admit he’s a lucky man to have me and DeeDee.) He may look unassuming, but he is quite extraordinary. And he knows it. (He also knows he’s not perfect.)

The club was so unusually crowded that we didn’t end up playing any more. As we drove home, we passed a large, hipster bowling place and I thought to myself – I’d had a MUCH better night than going bowling could possibly be. This made me smile.

Even though my collar was off, I addressed MasterDoc as Sir at one point. I’m not required to call him Sir unless he issues a direct order OR my collar is on. But I think it’s good when it slips out on its own. While I’m glad MasterDoc is not heavy on protocol, I wonder if sometimes it would be better for me to have to be a bit more respectful. On the other hand, until he got to know me and how I love to tease those I love, it was a bit difficult to get away with teasing.

July 4th Weekend

Published on July 5, 2011 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, drunk, exhibitionism, forced orgasm, masochism, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, swinging, the wrestler and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Yup, I’m the lame-ass sex blogger who keeps finding it hard to sit down and write. I’ve had adventures this past weekend and only now I’m sitting down to record it. The details are probably fuzzy, but I hope I’ll still manage to convey the fireworks I enjoyed – all of them indoors.

Sunday night I enjoyed a purely sexual, purely casual encounter. The wrestler came over for our first encounter without MasterDoc. MasterDoc was supposed to go out with DeeDee for the evening but they both stayed home after all so they were off in the living room while I was getting it on. I reveled in having a guy come over for hot fucking but without any other sort of relationship attached. (Don’t get me wrong, relationship sex is awesome too. This is just enjoyable for its own sake.) He’s still damn hot. I mentioned our sex toys as we went into the bedroom, he said, “I don’t need sex toys. I use my body, my hands, those are my sex toys.” Rawr.

We got naked and he quickly had me pinned to the bed. This simple act is enough to get me hot. I let him know that MasterDoc decided he didn’t want the wrestler spitting on me (something he did last time without negotiating, I enjoyed it but certainly MasterDoc’s directions on this will be followed). He grumbled a little, but he heeded the request.

He does a phenomenal job just taking me – the kind of sex I so often fantasize about. He straddled my chest and I flicked my tongue over his balls when they got near. I love playing with someone who likes that I’m a dirty slut. I lapped at his balls and cock. He uses his body to keep me still (not that I’m trying to get away, mind you) while doing nasty things to me. He wrapped his legs around one of mine and fingered me to orgasm over and over again. If I believed in god I’d thank it for such an awesome ability to orgasm.

He fucked me from behind and pretty much climbed on top of me. He pushes his cock in as far as it will go, and as he’s lean that’s pretty much to the base. I joked afterward that I didn’t know why I was so tired, all I did was lie there and orgasm. He fucked me from on top, pinning my arms down with his and my legs with his. It is quite an experience.

We took a break since it was hot and, well, he had certainly been exerting himself. We chatted a bit, kinda awkward with someone you don’t really know and don’t intend to have a relationship with. But sex often requires a bit of a rest break. (The kind I have does anyway.) During the break he thanked me for the “very flattering” post on him last time.

Then he said, “Ok, enough of this, why don’t you come over here and suck my cock.” Oh yeah.

There was lots of gagging, lots of rough stuff. At one point, I could feel the bile rise from my stomach as he kept his cock thrust down my throat and I gagged. I felt all subby. It’s nice to experience such physical, rough sex since not everyone is in shape for it. (Heh, I told the wrestler that it’s good I didn’t meet him 60 lbs ago – I don’t think I would have been able to handle the pounding.) He fucked me up the ass, plowing into me like no one has before. Jesus. It felt great but I kept worrying that I’d end up with a perforated bowel. (Ok, not really but the thought entered my mind.) I was body sore the next day like I often am from exercising. I know it’s from such physical sex Sunday night. My back was a bit sore, and for next time I need to tell him to be careful with my wrist since it’s been finicky since I sprained it a while back.

But it was fun. And I came so hard and for so long that I couldn’t help but shake the depression that had been hounding me all weekend.

The night before that, Saturday, I went out to the swing club with MasterDoc for the first time in a while. I had mixed feelings about going out. I had only just complained to him that it had been a while since we went out, (we stayed in the night before) but then I was struggling with a depression that made me a bit antisocial. Also, Saturday nights at the club are couples only (and single women, there actually was one there!) so I was concerned that I’d just feel like the lure to get MasterDoc pussy. (And he’d say, “What’s wrong with that?” He thinks it’s my duty as his sub to get him pussy. I am just not good at that sort of thing. Any other subs reading this responsible for helping get pussy (or cock) for your Dom?)

Despite my earlier mood, I managed to be fairly social. (Alcohol helped.) We chatted with a cute, young Australian couple, and then a sexy Colombian woman we had met at a private party a few years back. (I didn’t recognize her at first, but she remembered MasterDoc having the sybian!) Everyone was nice and friendly, but but no one seemed particularly interested in us. I was chatty and complimented MasterDoc often, but it didn’t help ultimately. Elusive Pussy 1, Nadia 0.

I convinced MasterDoc to go make our own fun. I was so horny by this point. Dancing and moving my body to salsa plus the alcohol in my bloodstream led me to rub my ass up against MasterDoc’s crotch. He took me into the room with the large bed and fucked me hard after I lavished oral love on his cock. A new couple came in and fucked nearby, enjoying themselves but mostly the guy was enjoying watching me. I came screaming and squirted all over the bed. After, MasterDoc went to bathroom telling me, “Don’t get into trouble while I’m gone young lady.” The couple moved over to the bed and I apologized for the wet spot. The woman said, “Oh it’s okay it just means you were enjoying yourself!” as they found a dry spot. I was still naked and I figured playing with myself wasn’t getting into trouble. The guy of the couple was digging it. When MasterDoc returned he made me squirt again via his tongue and fingers since the guy was eager to see it. Alas, the couple left because they were getting pelted with my squirt as I came and MasterDoc slapped my pussy. They didn’t seem offended by it, they just understandably didn’t want to get sprayed with a stranger’s bodily fluids.

Having had just a little too much to drink, I rested on a sofa while MasterDoc went off “perving.” (Seeing what else was going on in the club.) That couple from the bedroom showed up again. She was an enthusiastically sexual Latina and he was a very fit black guy. Dude was eager to see my pussy again, and he gently spread my legs while MasterDoc was there. Rowr. He played with my pussy for a bit while his girl sucked him off. Since it was getting late, I had to excuse myself and go use the bathroom before we headed out. But when I came back MasterDoc was fingering the Latina while she went down on her boyfriend. I made my pussy available again to try to “be a good submissive” and help prolong MasterDoc’s play. He decided to stop after a few moments since it was so late.

We got home 4 am and I crashed hard. But I had enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Chemistry

Published on June 19, 2011 in attraction, blow jobs, cunnilingus, dating, horny, masturbation, non-monogamy, sex, slut, spanking, the writer and Uncategorized. 2 Comments

I had a very busy week, and some nights I was too busy doing non-kinky things to write about the hot nights I had with MasterDoc. I’ve found that my infrequent writing here is not only down to feeling burnt out, but also due to such limited time. Finding time to be alone and work on a post has been getting hard to do. And besides, if I didn’t go live life this wouldn’t be a very good blog, now would it?

Because I didn’t at least take time to make notes, I find I can’t remember details of the sex I had days ago with MasterDoc. This sucks. Not only because I like to chronicle my time with him here, but also he tends to feel a bit hurt if I manage to write about someone else but not my sex with him. After nearly four years together, however, even the most exciting kinky sex life can get a little routine. Even though routine for us is still way better sex than most people have. He turns me on immensely and I have mind-blowing orgasms as he wrings them out of me for as long as he can possibly make me come – but writing about it, finding the words to describe it, has become a bit routine. The sex is still exciting.

But, gentle reader (that’s oh so Miss Manners of me), I’m sure that while you still want the pervy details of my sex life with MasterDoc (and I will continue to write about it) it can also be exciting to hear I’ve had an excellent time naked with someone new.

I had an excellent time naked with someone new.

The back story: this guy wrote to me on the usual dating site and we got into talking about music we like in common. I liked that he was interesting and not trying to just plan having sex with me. We had a date a week ago – a normal date. We met at a bar, had a few drinks and talked for a few hours. Then we made out in the corner of the bar for a bit. I knew then that I wanted to fuck him.

I like him – not just sexually but also we have a lot in common and he’s smart and interesting to talk to, laugh with, etc. He’s a journalist, out of work like so many people are nowadays. I remember when the idea of dating a guy without a job would give me pause, now at least two out of the three guys I had dates with over the past couple of months have been unemployed. With such rampant unemployment, not having a job is no longer necessarily an indicator that someone is a slacker.

So we exchanged emails during the week and I found myself getting really horny thinking about having sex with him. I think waiting until the second date actually made things better. No, really. He and I happen to have great sexual chemistry and the anticipation drove me wild.

MasterDoc and DeeDee were away for the weekend, and as usual I tried to keep myself busy as too much time alone tends to make me depressed. I invited this guy over (I need a pseudonym for him. Maybe he’ll give me one.), told him he was welcome to crash since we’re at nearly opposite ends of New York City. Now from this it should be clear that I had every intention of fucking him. But the night moved slowly and I’m not used to that. I kept thinking that I just wanted him to FUCK ME. I enjoyed hanging out, talking, watching some stuff on netflix, and making out off and on. It was lots of fun. But waiting just made me feel more desperate to get laid. This is interesting. I don’t get that way with everyone.

Eventually we ended up in the bedroom, clothes were taken off and strewn upon the floor. We made out, rubbed up against each other and groped heavily. I was so horny and so turned on that my first orgasm with this guy was from him grabbing me me roughly. I’m sure that MasterDoc’s training me to be super sensitive sexually helped that happen, but I was surprised that it even could happen with a guy other than MasterDoc.

I wanted his cock inside me so badly. The slowness of the date drove me crazy. I eventually broke down and told him straight up that I wanted to fuck. He’s not kinky, he’s not a Dom, but he does like his sex rough. And rough sex is just awesome. It’s a very different dynamic than the one I have with MasterDoc. (It felt strange to be called beautiful rather than a piece of fuckmeat. lol) But we did have unusually good sexual chemistry. And despite not being particularly kinky, he reached one hand around me and spanked me a bit (pretty mildly at first but he kept going) and I came from the spanking.

He went down on me – and I always take it to be a good sign when a guy goes down on me first – those guys are pretty much always good lovers. When I blow a guy first then it’s hit or miss if he’s any good. I’m not sure how many times I came before he fucked me. When he finally fucked me (I had been waiting for it all night!) he made me come hard. I wanted it to go on a while but unlike MasterDoc it’s not extremely difficult to get this man to come. (Oh he wasn’t a minuteman certainly. But this guy can come while fucking with a condom on. MasterDoc generally can’t.) This is awesome in its own way, but different from what I’ve gotten used to. I kept making sure that the throe was under me so I wouldn’t potentially soak the bed. We cuddled a bit, thankfully he’s a cuddler too. We soon ended up grabbing at each other, I sucked his cock and demonstrated my fantastic sexual skills (partly due to talent, partly due to a terrific Dom who trained me well). I asked him to fuck me; he told me to beg. Oh hell yes I begged. Again, a wonderful fuck. He has a nice cock.

We took a break and watched more netflix in the living room. He’s about 4 years older than me so we’re of the same generation – we have a lot of the same pop culture references. We sounded like old people when we talked about how back in the day we grew up without internet.

He asked if I wanted to put something else on tv. I suggested we could just go back to bed. It did not take any arm twisting to get him there. Fooling around with him was intense. I wanted to fuck again, but having come twice in one night it’s not surprising that his cock wouldn’t totally cooperate. (It got hard, it just didn’t stay hard when we went to fuck.) I’m not one to have a thing about this, after all my body doesn’t always cooperate sexually either. We got each other off in other ways and were quite tired by the end.

He slept next to me, and it felt comfortable. I had a hard time getting back to sleep completely when in the early hours of the morning he got more cuddly. I love cuddles when I’m awake, but I generally prefer to sleep in my own space. His hands felt nice so I didn’t say anything. A few hours later we got up for good.

I started the coffee and we fooled around more while it brewed. We hung out and I started mapping out my plans to meet up with Blondie that afternoon. After talking and him showing me stuff on youtube that is amazingly bad, he asked if we could go play around again. He didn’t have to twist my arm. We both managed to come again by the end.

Since I was headed closer to his neighborhood on my way to meet Blondie, he rode with me in the car and I dropped him at a subway station. Once I figure out my schedule for this week it’s time to plan another rendezvous with him. I hope we can keep up having a great time hanging out, followed by fucking. I’m a simple girl, those are the things I want to do most.

Edited to add: I’ve decided to dub this guy “the writer.”

In the Meantime…

Published on May 29, 2011 in attraction, bdsm, blow jobs, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, dating, dom, drunk, horny, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Yes my friends, I have been “the blogger who slacks off” for the past 10 days or so. I’ve written about having a bit of burnout after years of blogging, but I never seem to get to the point where I want to stop.

So what have you all missed in my sexual adventures? Well of course I’ve had the pleasure of sex with MasterDoc several times. Last Thursday evening, we were hanging out with DeeDee, her other boyfriend, MasterDoc’s (and my) friend Liz, who was visiting from across the country, and my friend DivaSub, when MasterDoc escaped into the bedroom for a while. The rest of us were still having fun socializing and DivaSub was about to tell a story about the horrific hoarder apartment she had been to recently, (She’s an opera singer, she’s quite theatrical in her storytelling.) when my phone rang. It was MasterDoc calling from the next room.

He wanted to know if I’d come into the bedroom and suck his cock. I found it simultaneously amusing and arousing to know he was beckoning his submissive into the bedroom to take care of his sexual desires. I wanted to hear DivaSub’s tale though, so I asked to do that, and he let me. Next thing I know he’s serving us all sorbet – probably to get dessert out of the way and bring the social evening to a close.

Sorbet finished, DivaSub’s story finished, and MasterDoc reminds me he wants me in the bedroom. I said goodnight to everyone and slipped off to him.

The main thing I remember, now that it’s days later, is that he fucked me silly even though I was pretty tired by that time. When doesn’t he fuck me silly? It’s a regular occurrence now for him to fuck me to the point where I very nearly ask him to stop. He takes me to the point where I don’t think I can come anymore and then he makes me do it again. When he’s finished with me I collapse onto the bed, exhausted.

I knew that since he had a full house this weekend, I’d end up spending time at my place for the first extended period of time in weeks. (I had to go grocery shopping Friday night after work since I had fuckall at my place.) His girlfriend J. was visiting, as was his friend Liz, and of course there was DeeDee and MasterDoc at home. I had a chance to see MasterDoc on Saturday when J and Liz went out for the afternoon.

I asked him to come to my place, and somehow even though the whole maneuver wasn’t a secret, it felt illicit. It was strange but I enjoyed it too. I think knowing we had just a little time together made it all the more exciting. I was very horny and started off without him – reading male Dom/fem sub erotica. (Edited by the lovely Rachel Kramer Bussel who I’ve been fortunate to meet. I make no money off that link, I’m just sharing the book title.) I got out my Gigi vibe, lay on my purple Liberator fascinator throe (I got one for my place too) and made myself come. I think part of me worried that MasterDoc wouldn’t be able to make it, and I figured I should just go ahead and get off while thinking about him.

He came over a little later and I was so happy to see him you’d think I hadn’t seen him in weeks. He needed time to settle in but I tried to move things towards the bed as soon as possible. (Hey, when you live in a studio, you don’t need to change rooms.)

He asked about what toys I had in my place and he was interested to check out the Wahl massager. I keep a wedge-shaped attachment on it and he used that to place the vibe up against his perineum (or “taint” for those less technically inclined) while I sucked his cock. Ooh he loved that. I lavished affection on his cock and made him rock hard in no time. I took him deep into my throat – I wondered what it felt like on his cock head while my throat muscles convulsed a little from nearly gagging.

He used the Wahl on me next, and made me come so hard, so fast. This was not without a bit of teasing, but if you recall I had warmed myself up earlier. He had me kneel with my ass in the air. “I love seeing your pussy on display like that.” Even without contact my cunt felt like it had been caressed.

He fucked me. Again, until I was feeling exhausted. He teased me and then made me come when it sounded like I couldn’t take it anymore. I thought about how much I love being the hole he fucks until he’s satisfied. That bit of objectification made me hot.

I found myself thinking a little, but then the internal monologue would shut up entirely as I became the orgasm. Over and over again, I’d be lost in the high of coming. Thought became unnecessary.

It wasn’t until the second round that I told him about my love of being his hole. Since I was exhausted he got on top. Apparently I wasn’t too exhausted to come a whole bunch again.

He wears me out. He’s in his mid-50s and he wears me, a woman in her late 30s who has recently lost a lot of weight and has been exercising, out. If I were at all religious I’d be saying, “Praise Jesus!” right now. But I know that it’s not Jesus I have to thank for that cock.

Our time together was relatively brief but so very fulfilling I happily went about my day being a homebody after he left.

Besides my still being crazy for MasterDoc and the wonderful sex he provides, I had a date a week ago with a nice guy. We met up for drinks, then had dinner, and by the end were flirting shamelessly and he was trying to persuade me to head to New Jersey with him to his place, and he’d drive me home in the morning. After some thought, and some comments on how I’d rather save penetration for another time, he convinced me, and my drunken self got on a bus to New Jersey with him.

We had a damn good time rolling around, having oral sex and him rubbing his cock on me and between my ass cheeks. He made me come a whole bunch of times. I was quite happy to have gone home with him. I asked to sleep in the guest room since I was in a new place (I almost inevitably don’t sleep well in a new place) and I didn’t have earplugs on me since I hadn’t expected to go home with him. (I sleep every night, since college, with earplugs. I’m such a light sleeper.)

The next morning, we fooled around some more, and then got bagels on the way to dropping me off at MasterDoc’s. I really like the guy. I hope he comes back for more.

The one drawback? MasterDoc had been plotting with Blondie for her to come over and both of them to top me again. Doh. But I got home too late and was simply exhausted from not sleeping well. It will have to wait for another time.

Pain, Piss and Fucking

Published on May 8, 2011 in anal, bdsm, cunnilingus, D/s, dom, edge play, embarrassment, forced orgasm, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, piss play, porn, prostate massage, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

There was more pain when we played on Saturday than he’s given me in a while. I think for the most part I was in need of a good rough bit of play. He placed the clover clamps on my nipples. I had to breathe deeply to ride through the pain. In the past, he would have taken them off much sooner, but this time he played with them a bit. The clamps bite into the nipple despite the rubber tips on them. They leave a deep impression. I was just getting used to the pain (as much as I could anyway) when he touched them. The pain surged again. I was surprised how long he kept them on me considering the look of pain that must have been on my face pretty much the whole time. He kissed between my breasts, which put a bit of pressure on the clamps. The pain was intense.

When he removed them it hurt even worse for a moment. Next he used the clamps on my labia. I got nervous when it seemed like he was playing with my inner labia, but I didn’t think he’d put the clamps on there. He did and I screamed. It hurt so much! Thankfully he removed it, and then moved to outer labia. This was still really painful. He went down on me between the clamps and it was hard to enjoy the feel of his tongue amidst all the pain. He took the clamps off (again that intense pain when the blood rushes back) and made me come with his tongue and fingers. Of course, after the orgasm all the suffering from just moments before was forgotten.

He stood up, and I wondered what he was going to do next. He must have needed to urinate because moments later he instructed me to meet him in the bathroom, and bring my vibe. I truly don’t like when he pees on me. I dread it. I brought my siri along but didn’t want to get turned on, you know? He had me kneel in the tub (knee pads on) and started talking up what he was going to do. It is so hard to listen to. He told me to me ask for it. I struggled, made jokes and even begged him not to make me ask for it. I had gotten myself worked up with the toy on my clit by now, and so I relented and asked him to pee on me so I could come. He pissed on me and I came and I hate that I came. I felt the warm liquid run down my body and the acrid smell hit my nose. I looked away. I closed my eyes so I don’t have to see it. But I came with his piss running down my hands.

He left me to wash off, saying that he would fuck me when I got back to the bedroom. I rinsed off, then grabbed the bath pouf for a little scrub when I didn’t feel clean enough. I dried off, and grabbed a throw blanket when I got back to the bedroom as I was cold. He snuggled me for a bit while we watched porn. (More PublicDisgrace.com.) He pushed his knee into my cunt from behind me. This was hot but I couldn’t come from it. I wished he would talk dirty to me again. He did just minutes before, asking what he was going to do with “his body” (i.e., me. Swoon.). He talked about making me just a piece of meat. Fuck, I like that talk, I really do.

He fucked me from behind, making me come over and over. And over. And over. And did I mention over? I had just gone limp from coming as his cock plugged away at me. At the end of a long, satisfying fuck, he pulled out and slapped my cunt, making me squirt all over.

As I lay down to recover, he put his wet hand in my mouth and probed a bit with his squirt-soaked hands. The fingers in the mouth thing is a recent suggestion from me. It makes me feel even more like I’m his slut to do with as he wishes. He can probe into any orifice he chooses to.

We took a break. During the break, he talked about working his new favorite toy in his ass (the Duke) and fucking me from on top with it in. I worked it in slowly as he watched hot, nasty porn. I got him really hot. I loved watching his face. He asked me a one point if I’d be ok if he just came. I said yes, and while I would have enjoyed another fuck I meant it. He said, “Good but I think I’ll fuck you anyway.” I kept working the toy in his ass and it became apparent he felt too good to stop. We kept going until he came all over his belly. He was relieved to see me smiling at the end. I had come enough for the day. It was time to make him feel good.

A funny aside: as we played after I had cleaned up the piss, I kept thinking I smelled piss every so often. I figured it must have been just psychological until I realized – I focused on cleaning my body off, but his piss ran over my hands too earlier. I didn’t adequately wash my hands and they smelled like piss. Ugh. I went and washed my hands at the first suitable break in the action.

Up the Bum on the First Date, wherein our narrator is a big slut as usual

Published on April 22, 2011 in anal, blow jobs, cunnilingus, cunt, dating, non-monogamy, poly, sex, shio, slut, squirting and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I’ve been slacking off, dear perverts. I’ve had a couple of interesting interludes with MasterDoc (and one that included DeeDee) that I haven’t blogged about – and probably won’t. It’s not that it wasn’t hot or interesting, I’m just getting lazy about writing. I think perhaps this blog will chronicle some of my exploits rather than every one like I’ve done for the past few years. Methinks I have a little blogger burnout.

Last night I went on a first date with a guy from a dating site. MasterDoc is so busy with women lately that I seriously need to find other people to have sex with. I am so not getting laid enough. If my dating others results in more loving poly relationships, that would be a bonus. But at minimum I would like a regular friend with benefits who I could fuck and enjoy hanging out with.

The talking and dinner part of the date went well. He’s a nice guy, keen on exploring poly (and exploring kink), already dating a couple of other women. I hope I see him again. He brought me chocolate from a shop in the city called The Chocolate Library. He gets major bonus points for thoughtfulness. He remembered my profile mentioned my love of chocolate, and well, the place is called a library, so he thought it was the perfect thing to bring along.

He admitted that he was a little intimidated by my experience. He wondered if he needed to be dominant with me, and I told him to just be himself, just do what he usually does when getting to know a new partner. While I have had some pretty awesome sex, I’m not someone to be intimidated by. I also don’t require kink every single time. But I do like when the person I’m with is more aggressive than me.

We went back to my place and he got me naked pretty quickly. That’s not hard. I’m not an indiscriminate fuck but once I decide I’m up for it I don’t play coy usually. He dove into my pussy quickly and the guy knows his way around a pussy. He ate me out for a fairly long time and I came a few times during it. When he added a finger or two in my pussy that felt even better. I told him that I’m a squirter. After all, I put out my Fascinator throe and felt the need to explain my prized squirt blanket. Apparently, despite this guy’s having been around the block (he previously dated a sex worker), he had never encountered a squirter before. I warned him that my squirting is sporadic. I didn’t want him to take it personally if I didn’t squirt. But he worked my pussy with his fingers for a while (the guy had finger and tongue stamina) and sure enough, girl cum poured out of me at one point. He thought it was pretty awesome. He spread the wetness around my pussy and seemed to enjoy playing with it a little. I love that most guys love squirting. He pointed out that women can see visible proof a guy has come, but unless a woman squirts the guy doesn’t get solid proof.

Actually, now that I’m thinking of it, his hands went to my ass first. I had lube handy, of course (and vibrators, condoms, and gloves in case they were needed or wanted) and made sure he lubed me up well. After he got me off a bunch of times, I went for his cock. I truly love sucking cock. He has a very nice cock.

He worked his way up the bed so he was straddling my head, and he fucked my face. How did he know I like cock choking? I had to keep my hands in there so I could pull away when needed. A girl does need to breathe. But all in all it was a pretty hot blowjob.

He asked for a condom and turned me over. Instead of fucking my pussy, he went for my ass. Now if you’ve read this blog for a long time you will probably remember a swing situation MasterDoc and I were in several months ago where I got fucked up the ass. Even MasterDoc (the biggest slut I know) thought that was extra slutty.

I realize that anal still has a certain amount of taboo around it. To be honest, I hadn’t even tried anal sex until my mid-20s. But at this point in my life I have this philosophy: if the guy is wearing a condom, if we have enough lube for my ass to make it comfortable, and if I’m feeling in the mood for it – why should it matter if it’s the first or twenty-first date? I can understand not wanting to do anal with someone who is still virtually a stranger, but I play such things by ear.

It was a good assfucking. I somehow ended up with my head against the wall, which I suppose is fitting for a rough and tumble bit of sex. Knowing that I like things rough and dominant, he grabbed my hair as he fucked me. It was awesome (and he released my head when I mentioned that my neck was hurting). I came often, and he fucked me until he came.

It was an extremely pleasant first date. Good company over dinner and hot sex after. He had work today so he headed home when we were done. I walked from my place back to MasterDoc’s. When I mentioned that I was going to do that, he asked if I was going to go tell MasterDoc all about my evening. And while MasterDoc was working late, I did indeed tell him about my date when he got home. And just as I told my date he’d say, MasterDoc said, “You slut!” As always it was said with the utmost affection.

As a little post script, I saw Blondie today (a perfectly respectable afternoon in the city – in other words, no sex) since we were down around SoHo/The East Village she suggested we go to the chocolate library. That place is a total boutique of fine chocolate. There are many different brands, different types of chocolate (a vegan bar with aphrodisiac herbs in it even, Blondie bought one of those). I picked up a couple of bars that sounded yummy and I will try to slowly savor them (and the bar my date brought the night before) over a period of time. This is expensive chocolate. It demands to be savored.

Sunday Swing

Published on February 20, 2011 in bbc, bisexuality, blow jobs, cunnilingus, foursome, lesbian, non-monogamy, pillow princess, sex, shio, slut, squirting, swinging and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

Sunday night I was slated to hang out with MasterDoc while DeeDee had a date over. I looked forward to a quiet night alone with him in the playroom, but he was searching craigslist for something interesting. We found a younger couple looking to swing – mid to late 20s – and fairly good looking from their pictures. She’s very chubby but I often go for chubby women who are chubby in all the right places. I love curves, breasts, hips, thick thighs. The couple was nice, but not close friend material. I doubt we had a lot in common beyond swinging, but they were nice to hang out with and fuck. She was a sexy, white bbw. He was a fit black guy with a bbc. When my profession got mentioned, the guy perked up. It’s amazing how often guys have librarian fantasies.

Even I, the woman who is notorious for not being able to get things started was trying to push things along. We showed them the couple of sex toys we brought in a little case and I brought my Lelo Siri over to show the woman how strong the vibration was. She liked it. We managed to get them into the bedroom and MasterDoc started off kissing me. He had me suck his cock hard and I somehow ended up using my Lelo Soraya on the woman. The guys remained half dressed while she and I started fooling around.

MasterDoc took over the toy, and the guy came over to eat me out. I’m always pleased when a guy goes for that first, often guys who will go down on me first are better lovers. He licked my pussy while I leaned over to suck her large nipples. She was soft and lovely to kiss and we made out often in the midst of things. Neither one of them turned out to be particularly knowledgeable about fingering, but in all fairness they are in their 20s still. They both did the basic in-out-in-out I remember from sexual experiences in my early 20s or so. If we see them again maybe I can offer a tutorial. They were both enthusiastic about oral so that helped. As often seems to happen, she went down on me but I didn’t end up going down on her. (This is how I get accused of being a pillow princess sometimes, I think.)

His cock was big and he’s a fit young man – so the fucking was good and energetic. I made out with the woman while MasterDoc fucked her and her boyfriend fucked me. This is the sort of decadence I love. I’m all for pleasure. No wonder I’ve turned away from religion. I don’t think pleasure is a sin.

I sucked his cock for a long time while she went down on me. MasterDoc was disappointed that the woman didn’t seem much into it. I know how that can really put a damper on things. The guy on the other hand was quite eager to fuck me and put his cock in my mouth. Since it was a Sunday night, and I had work the next day, the evening ended fairly early. But since they lived maybe 20 blocks from us it wasn’t a long drive home. I had been in the mood for having MasterDoc alone, but I was glad that I just went with his idea to swing. I had fun.

Thankfully, we had brought the throe as I squirted all over the damn thing. I think over time I squirt more and more often. Not all the time, but frequently now.

Double Feature

Published on January 19, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, dating, horny, kink, lesbian, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting and Uncategorized. 0 Comments

I had a lot of alone time last weekend and masturbated more times than I probably had the prior month! I certainly got MasterDoc’s permission when I got to the third time in one week. I’m allowed two without asking permission. He asked me to cam with him and so he watched me masturbate on my couch from far away. It was awesome. He wasn’t on cam, but still I felt much closer after the experience with him. Towards the end of the weekend, I got to be social, not to mention sexual.

The holidays and such kept me from seeing Blondie for over a month. We were both busy. Finally, we made plans for her to come over Sunday night since I was off the next day. She arrived late; her afternoon plans took longer than she thought and then she got lost coming to my place. She came in, took off her coat and we kissed. She said, “I brought ginger,” which can strike fear into a submissive’s heart! I worried for a brief moment that she wanted to try figging, but as it followed her mentioning bringing whoopie pies, I thought it couldn’t mean that. Thankfully it turned out the ginger was the very yummy dark chocolate covered ginger from Trader Joe’s.

I was pretty tired by the time she got there, so we just watched a dvd. (Tipping the Velvet, a lesbian period piece based on the novel by Sarah Waters. OMFG Rachael Stirling is hot. Keeley Hawes and Jodhi May aren’t bad either!). Blondie crashed at my place for the first time. The next morning, we ordered breakfast in and finished the dvd. After breakfast we ended up making out standing in my kitchen. While I’m totally femme and sub I felt a little guyish because I’m noticeably taller than her and I kinda enveloped her in my arms as I bent my face downward to kiss her. What it’s like to be considerably shorter than your partner is something I know nothing about.

We fucked. She asked if I had a blindfold and what toys were around. She blindfolded me and used my Siri on my clit. She asked about plastic wrap and I told her where it was while blindfolded (and where gloves were too since they can be cut open to form a barrier for oral sex if needed). She went down on me for the first time. It felt good but the barrier can inhibit some sensation. Still, it’s not hot if you’re not meeting your partner’s safer sex needs, and safer sex is way better than no sex. She also used a glove to finger me and I came quite quickly. I can do that when not required to get permission to come. I have to admit though that in some respects I prefer prolonging it. I suppose I should just do that on my own. She kept going and I kept loving it until my g-spot became too sensitive and I had to ask her to stop probing it so firmly.

I played with her next when she suggested we put a condom on my Gigi and use it on her. The condom came in handy as handle for this too-short vibrator. She wanted it shoved in far and I would use the end of the condom to pull the toy out of her cunt. I loved seeing her labia swell and open up. She gave me lots of direction, apologizing along the way. I reminded her that I’m a submissive and I’m quite use to being told what to do and how to do it. MasterDoc has trained me to his specifications. It doesn’t faze me. I’d rather please my partner than be clueless.

I rubbed her clit with my finger, stopping to add some lube because a lubricated clit is a happy clit. She moaned a whole bunch and even let out a piercing scream. I worried that the police would be knocking on my door thinking a murder was going on. We later switched to the magic wand as she thought it would be easier for her to come. We each took turns handling either the wand on her clit or Gigi inside her while the other used the other toy. I’ve made her feel really good, shriek with pleasure, but not come yet. I have to admit this disappoints me, because giving my partner an orgasm is a wonderful feeling. But I will be patient and do my best to keep learning what works for her.

After an afternoon spent with my friend Divasub (who I hadn’t seen in way too long also), I went over to MasterDoc’s to see him for the first time in about 5 days. I don’t often go that long without seeing him but he was away all weekend. (So happy to write here that after a week of no sex, I got it twice in a day from two different lovers – awesome.) We spent time reconnecting, and MasterDoc hadn’t had sex in a few days so he was pretty horny, too.

I seem to be dealing with some vaginal dryness and occasional soreness lately – I’m blaming it on my birth control pill for the time being. Being a bit dry makes penetration hurt sometimes, and his cock felt enormous that day. (I can hear him now, “Doesn’t it always feel enormous?” Yes, yes it does.) I had already gotten wet and warmed up with my hand, but still, inside I seemed uncomfortably dry. I had to ask him to please add lube. He asked if he should ignore me like that one time he was ass fucking me and he kept going after I requested lube and I came super hard seconds later. Um, no, this was not quite the same. He applied some lube and fucked me with just the tip of his cock until I was worked up and able to take the whole thing. It was hot! He couched it in terms of teasing me. It worked, I became desperate for the whole thing and my pussy self-lubricated.

He fucked me for what seemed like forever. I was so desperate to come that I actually voiced it, “You make me want to come so badly!” I hesitated to say that, worrying that it would be taken as begging for orgasm, which I’m not permitted to do when his cock is inside me. I finally decided that no, it’s not asking it’s just stating how he was making me feel. I think he should know if he’s driving me positively wild. He would fuck me harder for a bit and make me struggle to maintain control of my orgasm. I’ve been working on enjoying the good sensations for as long as he wants to fuck me without orgasm, and I am appreciating just the sensations more although I think I’d lose it if I didn’t eventually have an orgasm at the end of a scene. It’s good that he’s gotten me less goal-oriented (and loving it) but I still love orgasms. Who doesn’t love orgasms? I came, I moaned, I squirted.

______________________

By the way, Babeland is offering 20% off Lelo products this weekend!! Ack! I LOVE Lelo. If you’ve been thinking about getting something like the Siri or Gigi (my faves), now may be the time!

Dark Fantasy

Published on January 15, 2011 in anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, consensual non-consent, cunnilingus, cunt, D/s, dom, edge play, exhibitionism, fantasy, gang bang, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, needle play, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and Uncategorized. 1 Comment

Depression is not helpful for a fun sex life, so I haven’t done anything much with MasterDoc in a few days. (Except for a therapeutic caning Tuesday night that really did seem to lift my mood.) But I’ve been thinking naughty things and figured I’d write a little fantasy. Note: I refer to MasterDoc both as Sir and MasterDoc in this story. The rest of the characters don’t have names.

I can hear people arriving from where I lay in the bedroom. I’m playing with my cunt because Sir has told me to get it ready. I have no idea who is coming into the apartment or what will happen, but I do as I’m told.

I’m fairly close to orgasm when Sir comes in. He gives me a talk, hands on either side of my face, and tells me that I’m not to let him down. I’m to be a good little cunt and do as he says. He leads me into the living room where there’s about three men and one woman. I vaguely know one or two but not the others. I’m naked, except for my collar, leather cuffs on each wrist and ankle, and a leash hanging from the D ring on my collar. Sir leads me into the center of the room with the leash.

He takes a seat in a chair, and motions for me to sit on the floor by his feet. I do so and he starts talking. “Here’s our submissive cunt for the evening. Remember, condoms are to be used for any vaginal or anal sex. You are free to fuck her or make her go down on you as you wish, but you must clear any pain play with me first.”

I don’t know whether to be excited or scared. I’m looked at like a piece of meat laid out for a pack of hungry animals. He sends me around to each of our guests and instructs me to nuzzle their crotches through their pants. I crawl up to where each sits and do as I’m told, catching a whiff of muskiness from each crotch.

After I’ve finished this, he says, “Come back here slut. It’s time we got you warmed up.” These words make me anticipate genital stimulation, but when he grabs the canes I realize that’s not what he had in mind.

My wrist cuffs are joined together in front of me by a carabiner – something too short for me to undo myself. He swats my ass with the canes as I kneel face down, ass up. I hold still when I can handle the sensation but flinch forward when it hurts. The crowd admonishes me to say still whenever I flinch and I do my best. When my ass is quite sore, MasterDoc has me kneel on the floor and take his cock out of his pants with my bound hands. I suck him hard, and when his cock is its full size he grabs hold of my hair tightly. One of the guests says, “Oh yeah, choke her on it!’

He forces my head down so that his cock is entirely in my mouth. I can feel my throat working as I struggle not to gag. I last several seconds, and then MasterDoc pulls my head away as globs of saliva run down my chin and form a string between his cock and my mouth. He does this several times until I’m breathless and a bit lightheaded. Sometimes he slaps my face when he’s pulled it off his cock. I can feel the hands of some of our guests start to grope my body. One hand checks out my wet cunt. Another squeezes a nipple.

I am thrust back down onto the floor but this time on my back. The woman grabs hold of my cuffs and holds my hands above my head. One of the men takes a cane to my thighs and cunt when MasterDoc hands it to him. I figure this was something pre-agreed upon. Thankfully, Sir had passed him the lightest cane we have.

Still, ugly red stripes start to form on my inner thighs. When he smacks my cunt with it I think I can’t possibly handle the pain. One of the men places a strip of duct tape across my mouth so my cries won’t disturb the neighbors. MasterDoc and one of the other men holds my legs apart so I can’t get away from the cane blows.

Just as the pain makes me cry, MasterDoc signals to stop. Our guests back off, and MasterDoc holds me on the floor for a little while, telling me what a good girl I am. I cry softly, but it’s a cathartic release rather than any sadness.

Dinner delivery arrives and I wonder if the delivery person can see me naked and limp on the floor in the living room. My wrists are undone and the tape removed from my mouth so I can get up and serve dinner. I set the table, fetch drinks for our guests. They take liberties in touching me as I move around the table serving. Beforehand Sir told me I would be eating dinner on the floor. One of the men secures my wrist cuffs behind my back, and I have to eat without my hands, out of a bowl. Since leaning forward with my hands behind me would be too difficult, I am graciously allowed to have my bowl on a low stool so I don’t have to bend as far. As the guests eat and talk I’m mostly ignored, until one of them wants to comment on the mess on my face. I think to myself that there are animals with more dignity than I have right then. I eat as best I can. One of the men wipes my face with a warm, wet cloth and then pulls me by the hair until my mouth envelops his cock.

I suck and feel more hands on my body. I’m helpless as my wrists are behind me. I get pinched, poked, prodded. Someone produces a vibrator and holds it to my clit. It becomes so difficult to focus on my work on our guests’ cock that I slow down my efforts. I get my hair yanked and admonished to “Get back to work you dirty whore!” I try to focus but the vibe on my clit keeps distracting me.

My head gets moved around so I can suck all the cocks there. MasterDoc is stroking his cock and sizing me up as to what to do next.

I’m taken into the bedroom, where he lubes up my ass. My wrists are unbound so I can support myself in doggy-style. The woman takes off her clothes and lays down so my mouth is right at her crotch. I’m instructed to lick her pussy well (lest I get punished) and MasterDoc shoves his cock into my ass. He fucks me and I lick the clit and lips of this woman’s wet cunt. She moans and it seems like I’m doing a good job. MasterDoc, however, keeps varying his speed so I get terribly aroused and distracted. I’m desperate to come but I know that it won’t happen quickly tonight.

I had been asking for resistance play sometime, and I was told earlier that I would get it tonight. After a short break, for which I’m thankful, Sir slaps my face and grabs me by the hair. “Time to fight, cunt.” he tells me.

I struggle to get loose but of course our guests join in and grab various limbs. I feel myself forced onto the bed where my cuffs get secured to the underbed restraints. I struggle up until the last moment and at times I manage to slip an arm or a leg away from my tormentors. But in the end it’s useless. I’m spread eagle on the bed, terribly vulnerable. I’m gagged again, and blindfolded this time.

I feel the cool rub of alcohol swabs at various points on my body. MasterDoc gives a demonstration of play piercing to our guests. I get called all sorts of degrading names – fuck hole, pincushion, slut, cunt, bitch – while he pierces me. I get incredibly anxious when I feel him swab my outer labia – both sides. “This is gonna hurt, cunt.” he tells me. He has me breathe in deeply, and then while I’m breathing out he slides a sharp, sharp needle through one of my outer labia. We’ve done this before, but it’s still somehow shocking to have my labia pierced.

Sir strokes my body (and probably some guests do too, I’m not sure since I can’t see) to soothe me before he plants another needle in the other labia. He tugs on it a bit and I moan under my gag. A few more needles go in the skin on my chest, these are a bit hesitant so I wonder if it’s one or more of the guests doing the piercing. I can hear someone’s breath drawn in sharply. They’ve gotten a thrill from piercing me. From making me hurt. One of them says something admiringly about the tiny drop of blood that one of the piercings has brought out.

The needles are withdrawn and I can hear movements. Next thing I know, I’m being fucked by guest after guest. I’m allowed to come during this and keep orgasming too many times to count. The woman goes at me with her strap on. She’s positively vicious with pinching my nipples. The gag is taken off and a cock shoved into my mouth while my cunt is being fucked. The dual action of a cock being shoved into my throat and a cock being shoved into my cunt is overwhelming. Soon I’m gasping and drooling between cock thrusts. The lot of them make me come more than I ever thought possible while taking turns violating my body. I squirt a few times and can feel the throe beneath me soaking wet.

“You said you wanted me to be rougher with you,” says MasterDoc. He rips off the blindfold and I watch him jerk off onto throe. The guests undo my bindings, and MasterDoc shoves my face into his come and rubs me into it. As he holds my head to the puddle of come, I can feel other guys shooting their loads all over my back. I’m a totally come-covered whore. And honestly, it’s bliss.

The guys take me into the shower and MasterDoc commands me to kneel down. I’m sticky with come and they offer to rinse me off. It seems like I’m instantly surrounded and they’re all pissing on me. I cry silently from the humiliation. They all tell me what a dirty piss whore I am.

They leave me, reeking of piss and shivering in the cold tub. The last thing Sir said when he left was that I was allowed to shower. I quickly rinse the piss off my body and out of my hair. I towel off and put my cuffs and collar back on and return to the living room where everyone’s having drinks.

MasterDoc motions for me to sit on the sofa next to him and I do. He puts his solid arms around me and kisses my forehead. “You’ve been a very good slut today. I’m proud of you.” I glow with pride over having been used, abused and come through it feeling amazingly calm. Endorphins rock.

Our guests leave a short time later, all thanking me for the good time. I thank them of course and MasterDoc has me kneel on the floor and kiss everyone’s crotches goodbye.

After they’ve left, we snuggle in bed. I’m exhausted but so very happy.

Needs

Published on December 28, 2010 in anal, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, consensual non-consent, cunnilingus, D/s, depression, electrosex/tens unit, flogging, humiliation play, impulses, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, sex toys, shio, spanking, squirting, Uncategorized and wishing box. 0 Comments

Perhaps after being sick I just needed some deep reconnection. When you’re sick, you’re very isolated. You are the only one going through what you’re going through, plus others keep a distance to avoid contagion. The aches and pains and nose blowing keeps your focus and takes away from your interactions with others. You withdraw because you need the rest.

When I was fairly over being sick, MasterDoc and I had sex a couple of times, but somehow it was not quite what I needed. He pissed on me. I came, much to my continuing shame. He beat me. He really pushed my pain tolerance. And he made me come. I hit a soothing state of calm and relaxation post-beating. But somehow I still didn’t feel satisfied. I felt guilt over this. But I still felt like something I needed wasn’t being met. After talks, I think MasterDoc figured out what I needed, because that’s what he gave me. That evening he said lovely things about being happy with me, me being cute, etc. I needed reassurance that I was still attractive. I needed reassurance that I was still loved. I know the last bit sounds strange, after all I certainly know he loves me. But I just needed to be reassured. And I felt soothed by his love and reassurances. I needed attention. I had felt frustrated earlier because he used the “suck my dick and then hop on for a ride” thing two days in a row (i.e., no foreplay for Nadia). I felt distanced, I felt like my enjoyment of the sex didn’t make a difference. I felt removed from the sex. This depressed me.

Well ok, brain chemicals made me depressed, but this is what I got depressed about when given the right mental climate.

I craved touch. I craved attention. I realized that the touching was more important to me than the orgasms that night. And so he held me. He caressed me. I felt so much better in his arms and with his hands on me. I just needed to be touched. I think probably everything else could have been the same and if more touching was just added I would have found it satisfying as usual. My skin was hungry.

The next day he did more of the same. He told me that while he thinks it’s “lazy Dom’s prerogative” to tell the sub to get aroused and ready for fucking without any help, he doesn’t think that should be the norm and he could understand how it seems like a trend to me – but it really isn’t a trend in our sex life. He took time to play with my ass with the e-stim machine. My cunt was wet and swollen and as he zapped my ass I was so aroused. He fingered me, toyed with my clit. He made me come and squirt.

He continued to be very hands on, and I was happy to have him fuck me. He fucked me from behind and I savored when he’d grab hold of me and give me a good fucking. I think in addition to touch I crave being “taken.” I’ve been thinking lately that I want to be able to role play becoming someone’s sex slave involuntarily. For some reason I get turned on by pretending I don’t want to do what I’m doing sexually. I want to be physically forced or encouraged to do things. I want to be be tied up (or cuffed, rather) and gagged.

But I digress. I toyed with his balls and such with my Siri vibrating. When he did eventually ask if I could get on top of his cock and ride, I was thoroughly into it. I fucked him, rocking myself back and forth on his cock. I came so close to orgasm. He kept taking me to the edge. It was almost as if I couldn’t get enough of his cock sliding in and out of me. I wanted to come so, so badly.

I had to stop when my hips got sore and tired. I can do straddling for only so long. I lay next to him and he had enjoyed the fuck wholeheartedly. I still wanted to come, so I calmly mentioned that yes, the fuck was amazing, but I had wanted to come so badly. Since I asked nicely, he helped me come by using his fingers. I squirted some more and was just bowled over by the feeling of his hands in my cunt, on my cunt, around my cunt.