Archive for the 'sex parties' Category

Nice Guys Get Laid

Published on August 30, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, bbc, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, exhibitionism, kink, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, submissive, swinging and threesome. 3 Comments

I hadn’t been out to the club in a while. I was excited to be going out with MasterDoc and DeeDee even though I was feeling tired from the stressful and busy week as well as needy emotionally. (So what else is new with the last bit?)

Shortly after we arrived I became absorbed in a porn that was running – not so much because of what was happening, but because I think I had met the guy in it the week before. Tess met up with a pornographer before we went to In the Flesh, and I could have sworn the guy in the film was that guy. But of course they barely showed the guy’s face, so I didn’t get to convince myself entirely. I lead such an interesting life.

The club was having one of its usual “porn star” nights and Totally Tabitha was there – I think we had met her once before there. We got to talking with her and MasterDoc was very charming, while I got into teaching her about safer sex toy materials (what happens when a sex blogger meets a porn star, I suppose). I got to crush on this Latina I’ve met there many times and MasterDoc enlisted DeeDee and her exceptional social skills to help flirt with the woman at the bar for him. (DeeDee is gracious, friendly and can converse and get to know people easily. MasterDoc and I were the awkward nerds when younger – so while we’ve improved our social skills considerably we still don’t have the ease that DeeDee does.)

The mood at the club was pretty light. There were some socially inept, pushy guys there, but also polite, friendly ones as well. There was a good amount of women who are regulars (I so want to ask which ones are paid to be there – but I don’t want to make anyone feel uncomfortable.) I like how this steadfastly middle class, suburban woman (i.e., me) is comfortable with making friendships and acquaintance with whores, porn actors and the like. We all have a positive view of sexuality and don’t feel ashamed about it. I imagine so many people I work with or encounter day-to-day being  judgmental about these women – I am glad that I have realized that they are human beings just like any other women. Working the sex industry does not make someone ‘bad,’ ‘dirty’ or ‘wrong.’  (Or stupid!) This country is so fucked up in regard to sex. Sex is necessary for the continuation of the human race! It feels good for a reason! Fucking someone is a way of being intimate with another human being – even if you’re not in an intimate relationship with them. Humans need physical contact with other humans. It doesn’t always have to be sexual, but sexual is one way it can be.

We settled in the back room after a bit – I hadn’t been there since they took down one wall to make the two rear rooms into one big one. The air conditioning for the entire place is in that room though, and it was fucking freezing in there. MasterDoc got the ac turned down and we were able to camp out in there for a bit. The early part of the evening is a bit fuzzy for me. The whole evening was rich with flirting, joking and general fun that I’m sure I will, sadly, miss some details here.

So we settled on the big bed and cuddled. I was feeling starved for cuddles. We all three agreed that we felt a bit emotionally off kilter and MasterDoc decided that it would be just us playing – no bringing in strangers. I felt much better after he declared that. A few single guys stood around the perimeter of the bed and I’m sure they were thinking, “When are they going to DO something?!”

Eventually we got started. MasterDoc had me move to his right, because for some reason he’s more comfortable having me there. And while it seems a little silly on the surface, I do appreciate the fact that he does it because he can keep me in his sight better. He really takes the aspect of Domming that includes taking care of me seriously. It’s not a control freak thing at all – and it doesn’t feel that way – it is simply something that makes him feel more comfortable.

He had DeeDee suck his cock and he reached down and played with her tits. I stroked his chest and things were finally moving along. MasterDoc made DeeDee come just by touching her and talking to her. It was spectacular to watch. Poor woman was embarrassed after, as well as spent, so she lay down next to MasterDoc for a while. Isn’t it awful that we live in a world where a woman who can come very easily and hard is made to feel ashamed of it? I’m sure the men loved it, but women are taught subtly from birth that “good girls don’t do that.” (Hell, I’m a good girl and I deserve to feel good! Fuck that shit.)

MasterDoc had me suck his cock for a bit, then he had me position myself so he could use the crop and cane on my ass. I was so in need of a beating I was thrilled for him to do it. I became really aroused from the pain that felt mostly manageable last night. He had me lay down so he could play with my pussy. He got some toys from DeeDee (both of us take turns being the assistant) and made me come – but it was somehow hard to get there. I don’t know what’s with me lately, I seem to have difficulty coming sometimes. I squirted a little bit. After the orgasms I needed to rest.

We got up and socialized some more, and MasterDoc was busy charming Tabitha. I could tell he was determined to fuck her, and I did whatever I could to help. They were going to go off to one of the rooms when we got distracted by talking to the cute Latina. MasterDoc begged off the conversation after a while, and I got the feeling that she was insulted. He made up for this shortly after by having her stroke his cock while Tabitha was busy with another guy. I joined them on the bed as DeeDee was talking to a polite, intelligent black guy – I felt safe leaving her there as he didn’t seem the non-consensual groping type at all (and I was right) but still he enjoyed talking openly about sex. I was hoping to get in on the Latina action although that didn’t quite happen. I did suck MasterDoc’s cock to get him ready for Tabitha, and the Latina talked about wanting to see me choke on his cock. We were working up to that when she got distracted. Boo.

Tabitha is clearly a woman who is comfortable with recreational sex (which I think is a great thing). She commented on the size of MasterDoc’s cock before fucking him and once he got his cock in her. He fucked her good and hard, I got horny watching and started to play with myself. MasterDoc encouraged me to help in some way, and I played with her clit through her panties a bit (the panties were just pushed aside for the fucking). She enjoyed a good, hard fuck and MasterDoc clearly enjoyed himself too. After, he joked that “fuck porn star” is off his list – I pointed out that we had fooled around with SlutMomo, so fucking a porn star was already checked off his list! He amended it to “fuck blonde porn star.” Check.

DeeDee and I ended up standing in the hallway a moment and she expressed frustration at not having more orgasms yet, and she wondered if MasterDoc would let her fuck the nice black guy she had been talking to. I told her she should definitely ask, and when she wandered off and MasterDoc came up to me, I took a moment to fill him in on her unmet needs and wants. See, I’m not always worried only about my sexual needs. I told him too that since I’ve been craving cock for days and missed out the two last times we fooled around, that I really longed for some penis-in-vagina sex. MasterDoc took control of the situation, checked in with DeeDee to see if she would be okay with someone else giving her those orgasms she needed (she was) and confirmed that she was interested in the guy (she was) and so the four of us ended up back in the bedroom again.

MasterDoc made DeeDee come by playing with her pussy, then he put the nice guy in charge of taking care of her. She came so much! The guy fucked her and the two of them seemed to thoroughly enjoy themselves. MasterDoc then turned his attention to me and gave me quite a fucking! I planted my head against the bed as he doggy-styled me. All sorts of moaning came out of my mouth as he took me towards orgasm. I was aware of the crowd around us, but kept myself separate and in my own head. He made me come so hard – and since starting testosterone his cock is a match for my vagina of steel – I don’t push his cock out nearly as often during orgasm. He kept pounding me and I kept coming.

After he said, “Babe, you’re a wild ride.”

I replied, “You are too, Sir.”

MasterDoc helped out Tabitha while the nice guy who had just fucked DeeDee fucked her – he gave her our orchid g vibe, with a condom on it, to use on her clit. After a while, the idea of putting it up her ass came about and the Latina helped lube up her ass well. They slid it in and he fucked her, feeling the vibe through the walls of her vagina. MasterDoc explained to him how he should massage his cock with the vibrating toy through the thin wall of flesh that lies between pussy and ass. He picked that up fast and seemed to love it.

I needed to get home to sleep so I could get up early, and the three of us were getting tired. It took a little while to pack up as we had to wait for our toy (would be pretty rude to just demand it back mid-fuck, no?) and then one of the regular ladies begged MasterDoc for a beating. DeeDee and I waited patiently while he helped her out.

It was an extremely fun evening! I don’t know why being a slut is so looked down upon – we have so much fun and pleasure! What is wrong with that?

Using the Slave

Published on August 12, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, consensual non-consent, cunnilingus, dom, exhibitionism, gags, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, non-monogamy, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and wartenburg wheel. 2 Comments

I arrived at MasterDoc’s Tuesday night thinking I was going to have a night alone. He and DeeDee were planning on going out to something kinky (he wouldn’t specify) and even though I didn’t have to be at work until late the next day, he thought it best to just bring DeeDee. I was totally in an anti-social mood, so it was a bit of a surprise to find them both home when I got there – and that the people they were going to see were coming over. The situation was this: a Dominant has a slave he’s training, and as part of her training she was going to be used by a bunch of strangers.

The slave got to see me briefly as I came outside to help them bring their toys in from the car. They brought a large cage to keep her in. Her Master had her wait in the hall outside the apartment until the cage was set up, then he blindfolded her and brought her in. He spent some time alone with her in the bedroom where the cage sat and then left her in her cage for a little while. She was blindfolded with an elastic bandage.

He came out and spoke to the rest of us about what was planned. He had also brought along a switchy lady he had been talking to (who is really cool. I totally want to hang with her again). So there were four ladies and two men. (Cue the Beach Boys: “Two girls for ev-ry Dom!”) The evening started off with the rest of us being silent, so she couldn’t tell who was touching her or how many people there were. Their relationship is much more formal than mine and MasterDoc’s – he had her crawl around the whole time, she has specific positions she needs to get into on command. He seems to inflict more pain than I think I could take, but perhaps it was more the kinds of pain than how much? I’m not sure.

After he had her display herself (first position was kneeling up, legs spread, arms behind back, head back and mouth open, she looked lovely) we took turns groping her. MasterDoc was not shy and immediately went over to see how wet her cunt was. I needed a little waving forward from her Dom after MasterDoc finished, but I enjoyed her soft breasts and toyed with her cunt a little. I don’t know why I get so damn shy with women. The other lady then played with her.

The details are hard to follow as so much happened that night. I know I got a little cuddle from MasterDoc while the other lady fingered the slave. I stroked his back as he stroked his cock watching the slave get used. DeeDee also came over and played with him a bit.

When the lady was done, MasterDoc slipped on a condom and fucked her. Her Master told me to kiss her and so I made out with her while MasterDoc pounded her. (Kinda hard to keep kissing when she is moved around so much from the pounding.) The slave was an attractive lady, so it was definitely a pleasure to play with her. (I’d hang with any and all of the people involved again.)

The two Doms decided that the slave would eat me out, and so she went down on me. I actually pushed her head down a little as she was just above my clit. The other Dom played with my tits and MasterDoc did as well. I came – having been given permission to come at will – but not quite with the same intensity I come with MasterDoc. In fact, MasterDoc and DeeDee hadn’t realized I came! And if any two people would know what I look like during orgasm it’s them. But I not only came, I squirted. A couple of times. MasterDoc thought I was in a state of frustration, but I expressed that actually, I had had enough.

Her Dom bit my nipple so hard! I’m not used to prolonged strong biting. My nipples are pretty sensitive and we don’t do a lot of nipple torture. MasterDoc is fond of flicking my nipples with his fingers – which hurts, but not so much the other stuff. MasterDoc had been doing this flicking on her clit over and over earlier.

At some point, her Master had her masturbate in front of us. I watched her rub her clit and wondered when she’d be allowed to come. After a while, he gave her a toothbrush to masturbate with. Yes, she rubbed her clit (or just above it, more on the clitoral hood) with the bristles of a toothbrush. Ouch.

She was spanked a bit with an acrylic (I think) cane. MasterDoc spanked her as well. MasterDoc flogged her a little. She ended up going down on the other woman, and while her ass was in the air doing that MasterDoc fucked her. DeeDee jumped in and started playing with his ass, but the other Dom asked her to take more photos. (Yes, there are photos of this. No, I don’t think I will get to share any here.) As she used the camera I took over playing with MasterDoc’s ass as he likes. I truly enjoyed seeing him enjoy himself. He was like a little boy at Christmas. I think I’m finally at a point where I can accept that new pussy is sort of a fetish of his, and that he will always look for it, but that he loves me and will come back to me. He took the time to pretty much tell me this as he fucked her and kissed me.

I lose the thread of the story about now. I know the other Dom fingered (quite expertly it seemed) the other lady. The other Dom didn’t play with myself or DeeDee at all – except to put cups on our nipples. (e.g., cupping as used in some Asian medicine). The suction hurt me just too much! My left nipple was already sore from him biting on it, and just the other day I chose to endure the clover clamps for a while. I just couldn’t handle the feeling of the suction on my tender nipples. But at one point all of us ladies had cups attached to our nipples by suction.

Her Master had her drink out of a dog bowl on the floor, but treated her to a diet root beer later after she had already been a good girl for a while.

She was still blindfolded through this, mind you. He took out a dental gag and I drooled. MasterDoc joked that he was making him look bad – after all he brought out all sorts of toys that I ask and hope for but don’t usually get used on me. With the dental gag in, he dragged the wartenburg wheel all over her body. Fuck. I was so turned on watching this that my body would involuntarily twitch. I so want that  for myself. I cringed a little when he ran it over her sore pussy, but I’ll bet it was ultimately wonderful.

The slave was put over the Liberator scoop at one point and cuffed down by wrists and thighs. I think I wandered off to the kitchen at this point, so my recall of what happened is spotty. (I know, I know, I do my best to fill you guys in entirely but a human being can only do so much!) There had been some cock sucking along the line (perhaps most interesting was her Dom putting his cock in her mouth from above as she lay on the floor being used by others).

She was finally allowed to come as her Dom used the Hitachi on her – and she squirted a ton. Next the other Dom made the other lady come, and MasterDoc got DeeDee and I to come simultaneously on the sofa on either side of him. While I had come a few times, I didn’t come with the intensity possible when MasterDoc focuses, and thankfully he wanted to make me come hard, and used the Hitachi on me some more and made me squirt a river as he made me come on the couch.

The hour grew late, and the planned double penetration didn’t happen.  But to finish off her Dom and MasterDoc took her into the bathtub and peed on her simultaneously. And she didn’t get to kneel like DeeDee and I get to, she had to lay down and have them piss in her mouth. Yikes. I would freak out over that. I know MasterDoc plans to get me to the point of pissing in my mouth some time, but that one’s going to be much harder to overcome than ass licking was. I stayed in the living room talking to DeeDee and the other lady. But DeeDee got called in to take photos. She looked awfully queasy when she returned.

The slave was left alone to shower off and came back out with the blindfold on. All the goodies they brought along got packed up, and we all said our thank yous and goodbyes. For a night when I thought I’d be totally antisocial, it ended up being pretty freaking hot. I must say however, that the selfish girl in me wishes I had been the center of attention. The next morning, DeeDee and I talked about how our evening had been something that previously (previous to getting into the lifestyle) we would have thought happened only in novels. But yes, these evenings of utter debauchery do happen. I don’t make up these stories, I only chronicle them. I am thrilled to be at the level of perviness that these hot group things go on from time to time. I am a lucky girl.

Not All Nights Out Are Happy

Published on July 13, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, anxiety, blow jobs, emotions, exhibitionism, sex parties, shio, squirting and stress. 0 Comments

I went out to a party with MasterDoc and DeeDee Saturday night. I wasn’t entirely in the mood to go out, but I figured I could get myself in the mood. I put on some music as I got ready (Culture Club! I’m a total child of the 80′s.) and I perked up. The host of the party was the same guy who lent MasterDoc his paddle recently and his parties have always been good. We got there, to a space we’ve never been to, and my first impression was that the crowd was some how “dodgy” compared even to the usual swing club crowd. There seemed to be a whiff of desperation in the air much greater than usual. This could have been merely my perception, it’s hard to tell, but it set me up for feeling uncomfortable and unsafe. I told MasterDoc my impression, and DeeDee mostly agreed with the impression. But we wandered around and I stuck with them.

Taking a break on a bed, DeeDee was raring to go and while MasterDoc kissed me on one side, he reached back with a hand and played with DeeDee’s pussy. She came pretty fast and it’s impressive how quickly she gets worked up these days. I wasn’t comfortable enough yet so I was glad to snuggle a bit. I took my top off, to reveal the top half of the lacy, meshy slip I had borrowed from DeeDee to wear but I left my sarong on the bottom half. DeeDee is a few inches shorter than me, so a slip that’s short on her is practically non-existent on me. I could scarcely pull it down enough to go over my ass. Most women weren’t dressed too scantily, and this made me feel even more self-conscious. MasterDoc had me suck his cock while DeeDee cuddled with him, and I enjoyed making him twitch with my mouth. He had us change places a few moments later, and he and I kissed and cuddled while DeeDee made him twitch. The bed was uncomfortable – it was pretty much a leather (or pleather more likely) flat couch and it sunk in the section I sat on.

We got up and looked around some more, we ran into the party host and he showed us around. There were many “voyeur” or “peeping Tom” windows to the rooms, where viewers could pull back a curtain from the outside and watch what was going on in the room. This suited our sensibilities. But the lighting was exceptionally low for the most part. We got drinks and a nibble to eat, and MasterDoc sat us down in a well-lit and well-traveled area. A couple who had asked about our big For Your Nymphomation bag of toys, came over and MasterDoc gave them a tour of the inside of our toychest. I could tell MasterDoc was flirting with the woman, and she was rather cute. The guy didn’t thrill me and I didn’t really want to end up doing anything with him, but I knew that to help MasterDoc along I was going to be expected to.

As MasterDoc finished the toychest tour and went back to eating, I found myself sitting between him and DeeDee. They had me take off my sarong, so I was barely clad in the slip. (It’s black, lace underwire cups, mesh body and wide lace trim at the bottom.) I felt really self conscious for some reason last night. I still didn’t feel comfortable with the people there. And to be exposed in such a heavily traveled and well-lit area made me feel anxious. (MasterDoc later told me that he chose that place because it would be easy to keep control over what was happening. Too bad it didn’t feel like that to me.) He put my leg over his, so that my legs were partly spread. DeeDee did the same with my other leg. I felt anxious and so I requested the blindfold out of the bag. Some onlookers commented on how we had everything in that bag, but by blocking my sight I was able to block the onlookers out to an extent. MasterDoc toyed with me, and I had a hard time getting into it, but I tried my best. I was able to relax enough to enjoy his toying with my body, and he made me come hard in front of all those people. I squirted a couple of times on the vinyl bench and I worried that it would seep under my raised thigh and soak MasterDoc’s pants. He made me come for a long period of time and I came close several times to begging him to let me rest.

We cleaned up the bench with baby wipes after I was done. My ass was kept damp by the slip having gotten wet at the back. Luckily it was mesh so it wasn’t too uncomfortable to walk around in, in that respect. A guy who had been nearby watching with two women followed us over to the food table and he complimented me on the show. He was clearly interested, and he didn’t seem too bad – i.e., he didn’t trigger my sense of feeling unsafe. Maybe I was relaxing a bit. I needed to sit down, and MasterDoc found me a chair in the hallway. The couple from earlier came over and they were clearly interested in playing. The guy started getting close to me, and I could tell MasterDoc saw him stroking my shoulders and then gradually moving to my breasts. I wasn’t thrilled with the guy, but I was still just aroused enough that I could close my eyes and enjoy the feeling (forgetting who was doing it). MasterDoc joined in caressing me. The five of us went off to a room, the guy in the couple seemed quite uncomfortable with having an audience. MasterDoc explained how much we enjoy an audience. We closed the door to the room, so that only the guys peering through the perv window could see us.

DeeDee and MasterDoc talked about how not only is it his skills that gets him women, but also he has found very responsive women. He had DeeDee lay down and he brought her to orgasm quickly as a demonstration. The guy was turned on and asked if he could eat her out and he did so for a bit. DeeDee came again. The guy kept playing with her pussy and stroking her thighs and she had to beg for a break. (MasterDoc had to remind him a few times to stop touching her so she could rest.) He then reached to play with my pussy. I wasn’t interested or particularly comfortable, but I knew that MasterDoc wanted me to go along with things (although I felt unclear on the extent). My pussy wasn’t really wet enough but the toy bag with the lube was out of reach. The guy sat on the arm of the sofa next to me, and opened his jeans His lady sucked his cock and I felt a sense of relief to just watch, but he groped me as well and I sort of silently put up with it.

This is sad isn’t it? I was totally not into it and it was a little like when I was raped – I felt the activity was inevitable and so I quietly acquiesced and reminded myself it would soon be over. I tolerated it rather than enjoying it. Positions shifted and soon MasterDoc was playing with the lady’s pussy while she bent over and sucked her guy’s cock. The guy tried to go down on me but couldn’t get in a good position, so he played with my somewhat dry clit instead. I thought his skills were pretty dreadful. He beckoned DeeDee over and wanted her to suck his cock, she told him she doesn’t do that. He kept caressing her and I alternately and I worried that MasterDoc wasn’t watching. He was more than likely was keeping on top of his Domly duties and making sure I wasn’t being harmed, but I was feeling so unsafe that night that if he wasn’t looking in the direction of what was happening to my body, I felt like he wasn’t watching. (When we spoke later he assured me that he was in control of the situation.) While all this was going on, assholes kept opening the door to the room and not going away when we motioned for them to leave. It added to my sense of being unsettled and unsafe and I felt like the crowd was rude and pushy. I also got the sense that they were extremely straight and extremely vanilla. The guy in the couple, being uncomfortable with the crowd, ended up leaving with the lady after exchanging phone numbers with MasterDoc.

After they left, we closed the door again and MasterDoc attended to me. He went down on me, and I just kept feeling so unsafe in that environment that I couldn’t let go and enjoy myself. He tried placing pressure on my inner pelvis, but it just came across as uncomfortable. When it was clear I couldn’t relax, he came up and talked to me. I explained that I was fearful of being assaulted (and I know this wasn’t particularly rational, but I had images of aggressive guys forcing themselves on me while MasterDoc got pushed to the other end of the room by the sea of bodies). I was so clearly freaked out that MasterDoc decided we should go home.

I needed to use the bathroom before we left, and DeeDee went with me since she knew the door didn’t lock. She stood outside, looking formidable and Dommely with my riding crop. This helped a great deal. Ultimately, I felt uncomfortable enough (and somehow triggered enough) that anyone I didn’t know touching me was likely to freak me out. I had tried conveying my level of freaked outness to MasterDoc but I’m not sure I managed to do it adequately. He was keeping control of the situation from his perspective, but I felt very much like things were out of control – particularly out of my control. Some days I just can’t feel ok about “You will fuck whoever I tell you to.” When I’m in the right mindset it can be hot to be his whore and used by others at his discretion, however in the wrong mindset it feels like assault. I felt withdrawn and unhappy well into Sunday.

Independence Day

Published on July 6, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, caning, cunnilingus, depression, dom, embarrassment, exhibitionism, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, squirting, submissive and threesome. 0 Comments

Since I wear my depressive episodes on my sleeve anyone who follows my twitter knows I was in bad shape the other day. Thankfully, it has passed and I have some very understanding people in my life who realize that while I become negative and complaining during an episode, it’s not entirely what I’m thinking/feeling so much as just a chemical reaction in my brain.

But some things do get brought up when I’m in that state that are bothering me just below the surface. I gave MasterDoc a hard time about our sex life becoming more and more routine. It can be frustrating when he seems to put effort and creativity into trysts with women he’s not involved with, but not so much with me (or DeeDee). Now granted, even a routine sex life with MasterDoc is pretty hot and satisfying. And one of the wonderful things (I say that a lot, don’t I? There’s many wonderful things.) about MasterDoc is that he will look at criticism and see if it has merit. He acknowledged that there is some truth to my complaints.

After talks, hugs and hanging out, my depression lifted. On Saturday night after MasterDoc made DeeDee come and subsequently conk out, he took me into the other bedroom and went down on me. This is something he doesn’t do often, and we were chatting about that earlier in the day. He dove in and did a fantastic job eating my pussy. He had me moaning and heading towards orgasm in mere moments. As he had me come, he put fingers inside me AND pressed down just above my pubic bone with the other hand while still licking my clit. Holy fucking christ I had an incredible orgasm. Even more incredible than usual. He joked about how he was sorry it was just plain sex and not something creative. I had to laugh because of course it was more than wonderful. I crave more bdsm scenes, but the sex we do have is pretty damn hot.

Sunday night the three of us went out to the swing club. MasterDoc, DeeDee and I seem to be becoming more and more triad-like as time goes on. It’s not unusual for us to show up as a unit to the swing club. The three of us took over the large bed and DeeDee and I took turns sucking MasterDoc’s cock. DeeDee started him off, and I cuddled with him. He decided that in honor of Independence Day we would be allowed to come when we choose to (now granted, we each might decide some teasing is desired, but it was all left up to us). After telling me this, he had me swap places with DeeDee and he told her the same and one or two other things, such as him considering letting us select one guy to fuck.

The swing club was having a private party that night and the host, a friendly (and kinky) guy we know, came in with his new paddle. He told MasterDoc that he was welcome to break the paddle in, and so MD had DeeDee and I get on all fours on the bed, asses in his direction. He alternated paddling us. I hadn’t had a paddling in a while and it definitely suited me. He switched to fingering us at the same time and soon we’re both coming. (Picture, if you will, MasterDoc kneeling on the bed behind us with his right hand in my cunt and his left hand in DeeDee’s cunt.) The party host commented afterward that it was impressive to watch MasterDoc “pussy DJ.” MasterDoc loves the showmanship of sex and he would vary what he did to us to get us to make noise in time with the music. He’d focus on DeeDee, then on me, then both of us so we were moaning in unison. I came quickly and for a long time. These days I forget how fast I’m able to orgasm since I always have to ask permission. It was lovely for a change of pace, but I like the way he teases me so I wouldn’t want it like that all the time.

After a rest and cuddles, he had DeeDee and I give him a dual blow job – she was licking one side, I the other. We both started giggling when her tongue pretty much left his cock and got together with my tongue. I giggled thinking MasterDoc was pushing her head a bit to encourage her – but it turned out he had no idea why we were giggling! DeeDee was more aggressive than usual and it surprised me a bit because I remember back to last year when MasterDoc met her and he told me that she was curious about doing things with women, but didn’t think she would be comfortable kissing one. I was happy to go along with it however, as clearly she was ok with what she was doing.

As DeeDee cuddled against MasterDoc’s back and stroked his ass and back (as far as I could tell), he leaned in to me and we kissed a bit. He touched my body and soon I was on the verge of orgasm. I could feel DeeDee’s hand reach out for my nipple and I enjoyed coming as they played with my body.

We got dressed, got drinks and had a seat in the main area. Coincidentally, the spotlight was on MasterDoc’s cock. This inspired him to have us take turns blowing him and with a hard cock he asked if I wanted to be fucked. Oh yes! He had me bend over the  back of the couch and he fucked me. Unfortunately, this didn’t last long as the couch is right against a wall, a very hard wall, and my head kept hitting it despite my best efforts to keep it  clear of the wall. We had to find another spot.

We moved to the exhibitionists room just a few steps away (it’s part of the main area, just set off by some very sheer curtains). MasterDoc decided to give me a beating and DeeDee suggested implements from the toy bag to him. My pain tolerance was quite good and he gave me quite a beating. (DeeDee later said she was impressed by what I took.) Since I had permission to come whenever I wanted, I came due to just the beating. The orgasm lasted a while while he kept caning my ass. My ass was quite sore after, but I had had a great time.

I suggested that DeeDee was overdue for an orgasm. He says, “What? She’s due for a beating?” He loves to tease us and make it seem like we’re trying to give the other one trouble. Because she was so enthusiastic about giving him impact toys to use on me, he decided that he should use the same ones on her. I was proactive for once and I lent a hand playing with her clit without his even encouraging me. DeeDee came easily. I got the nea and used that on her clit next. MasterDoc followed through on something he had promised earlier that evening – that he would use my anal beads on her as a tail. He had her suck on the beads to moisten them, and I tried being helpful and held up the bottle of lube, which thankfully he used. So the beads were placed only about half way in, and he told her, “Now, arf!”

“Oh Sir! Please no!” DeeDee moaned with her face buried in her arms (ass in the air). He got her to bark like a dog, much to her humiliation. In order to be able to come again, he made her arf one final time. She did after a few moments as I suppose the desire for orgasm outweighed the humiliation. As MasterDoc played with her cunt, I remembered his admonition for no idle hands – either help play with someone else – or play with yourself. I opted to play with myself and soon I came again as DeeDee did. I squirted this time, and got my dress a little wet. Thankfully it’s warm out so the damp dress wasn’t as uncomfortable as it could have been.

A few people had stopped by to watch as she came while my hand was holding the nea to her clit and MasterDoc was playing with the anal beads. DeeDee was so embarrassed after that she didn’t want to leave the area and face the people who might have been watching her humiliation.

Flirtation and Flogging

Published on June 20, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, attraction, bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, caning, edge play, exhibitionism, flogging, kink, masochism, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, slut, spanking, submissive and sybian. 0 Comments

I had a fabulous time Friday night! I don’t often name specific clubs or parties here, but Sir Magnus Romello’s bdsm parties (Avant Garde Loft) are ones to watch! They have really taken off. Look them up on fetlife.

I was a little more confident and I flirted with one of Sir Magnus’ submissives pretty blatantly. (I will call her Sofija here. She is Serbian so I picked out a Serbian name for her courtesy of a google search.) I had emailed her after meeting last time and we were maybe going to meet up for coffee. (But her Sir insisted she catch up on sleep while on that break from work. Fair enough.) Hitting on her was easier due to getting a clear vibe that she is interested too. But can you see it? Me – the Queen of the Lesbian Sheep Dance – I was forward. No joke.

I was more social this time around. Initially I thought Sofija didn’t remember me which bummed me out, but it was really down to dim lighting, my new bangs, and her being a little tipsy – she didn’t recognize me at first but then she was happy to see me. When MasterDoc saw my opportunity to chat with her, he pulled DeeDee away to walk around and left me talking with Sofija and her friend. Sofija invited me to come along with them when they went elsewhere in the club and I followed. We joked around with Sofija’s strap on and I was feeling pretty confident and good. Her friend for the evening was visiting from the south and she was a young (18 or 19 years old), gorgeous woman. (Tall, slim, pretty – and yet in conversation with her later that night it turns out she doesn’t realize how gorgeous she is. I hate how women are taught to feel insecure in our society.) I was thrilled when the younger woman had trouble believing that Sofija is in her early thirties and me in my late thirties. She said, “Everyone looks younger up here!”

The social period went on, I got side tracked from following Sofija and friend by running into DeeDee who was talking with a fem Domme. People are really quite friendly for the most part at these parties. I can see myself going regularly and getting to be friendly with some people. (Unlike when I wrote about another New York party on here that I didn’t enjoy as much.)

I was thrilled when MasterDoc started setting things up to flog me. He and DeeDee put my wrists in cuffs and attached me to a low St. Andrew’s cross. MasterDoc flogged me – first with the little flogger, then interrupted to spank me with his hands, and then the big flogger. He struck both my ass and my upper back. He was pretty intense with the hits and he even worked in the cane a few times. I cried out as loud as I could to be heard over the music. I checked in with him at one point to make sure he could hear me crying out. He said simply, “Yes,” and went back to work. Ok, then. As long as he was aware at how much pain he was causing, I was okay with that.

He teased me with a vibe, but the difficult thing is when you’re reaching around a woman from the back, it’s much harder to find her clit than from the front. He teased me a whole lot, mostly not on quite the right spot. He told me I could come ad-lib and as I started coming he pulled the toy away. Fuck. Orgasm interruptus. (He could hear cries of pain over the music but not the more subtle sounds of impending orgasm.) He had DeeDee help out with using the toy while he flogged me but bless her heart she’s still learning and couldn’t get the vibe on the right spot. I started laughing because the situation was kinda funny to me – I’m being teased but in such a way that the stimulation is not enough to get me anywhere near getting off. With my hands bound, I couldn’t show DeeDee where to put the vibe exactly. MasterDoc took over the toy again, and I was nearly – nearly! – to orgasm but my knees gave out. They started doing this popping thing and I couldn’t hold myself up any more. I need to get in shape.

I was so frustrated at not really coming, but my body was exhausted. I sat and rested for a while and then MasterDoc decided to give me the first sybian ride of the evening. It was wonderful to finally come! I screamed as I came. MasterDoc kept me coming over and over and over again. He pushed me past what I thought I could handle. DeeDee spanked me a bit and then she pressed against me and could feel the vibrations through my body. MasterDoc told her she could come as well, and she came pressed into me – which made me come harder.

I was exhausted after. Yes, even more so than before. I lay down on the mat next to the sybian for a while. MasterDoc chatted with DeeDee while I lay there, and at one point he started using me as a foot rest. Kinky perv that I am, I thought that was hot. Sometimes I really, really get into being submissive. After I had enough energy to sit up, I sat on the mat by his feet and hugged his leg. I do enjoy being the worshipful sub sometimes.

MasterDoc gave other sybian rides, of course. One of Sofija’s “sisters” (in her leather family) held the young Southern woman as she rode for her first time. MasterDoc sat off the to the side, watching her reactions and manning the controls. Sofija sat nearby and I initiated a little flirting. We held hands for a brief few moments. I was bold and started gently touching her skin, but she mentioned that her Sir said he didn’t want anyone touching her that night without his permission. I respected that of course and figured that perhaps some other time…. (Yes, I felt too shy to go ask her Dom. I mean, the guy’s a Dom, lil’ ol’ me can be intimidated even though he’s always been nice.)

MasterDoc told me a little later that he had spoken to Sir M a while ago and asked permission for me to hook up with Sofija. (!) And I was interested enough and forward enough tell her this straight out next opportunity I got. She wanted to ask her Sir to confirm and I agreed wholeheartedly, saying I didn’t know if the permission applied that night or not. She apparently got in trouble for something when she went over to him, and she was busy watching her sisters the rest of the evening. (I don’t get the sense that she got in trouble over me. She wrote me an email the next day saying she hopes she gets to spend more time with me in the future. *happy dance*)

There were some hot scenes going on. While DeeDee recovered from her sybian ride (I helped by massaging her ass and inner thighs while she came.) I asked permission to wander off and I got to see one couple doing fire play. It was fascinating. Right next to them there was a suspension going on – something I’ve never experienced either. Sir M was giving a flogging to a lass who wiggled so sexily. I saw her later with another Dom and he flogged her front while she writhed sexily again. I made a point of telling her how hot it was to watch her on the way out. She looked like an average woman, someone who would not necessarily be aware of her allure. (She looked like a nice Jewish girl. Not someone you’d assume to be a perv. You know, like most of us pervs – normal-looking!) She seemed really appreciative that I mentioned she was hot to watch.

I enjoyed watching some fem Dommes – especially with masculine male subs. Sissy male subs don’t do it for me. (Nothing wrong with others’ kinks, it’s just one that doesn’t do it for me. The adult baby there didn’t do it for me either. But I have gradually come to see that some age play can be fun. I don’t feel the need to regress to infancy myself.) I thought about how men are expected to be dominant sexually in our culture and the relief a submissive man must feel when he hooks up with a dominant woman for the first time. He can be himself. He doesn’t have to be in charge. It’s a wonderful thing that kinksters can find each other and bring so much pleasure. Other parties I’ve been to have often been male Dom/female sub heavy, but this party had many fem Dommes, sub men, switchy people. We saw two guys play – something you don’t see often. Even hopelessly straight MasterDoc thought it was cool that a male couple would feel comfortable enough to play. He may not be turned on by it, but he’s supportive of people enjoying the sexuality that turns them on.

Debauchery at the Club

Published on June 8, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, dom, exhibitionism, horny, humiliation play, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, submissive and swinging. 0 Comments

Of the many perks of being a public servant, compensatory days really rock. It means I can get a day off during the week while MasterDoc is off (his schedule is rather different than mine, and we both have unusual schedules due to our lines of work). I earn these days, but it’s definitely a perk. Why am I mentioning this? Since I was off today MasterDoc and I got to go out to the swing club again last night. DeeDee stayed home since she needed to get up in the morning for something.

There were many men and few women when we got there. I found out from the Asian guy who works there that last night was designated “cougar night.” We debated the definition of cougar while MasterDoc was in the bathroom, but I really can’t consider myself a “cougar.” While I’m probably old enough, I don’t go for young guys. Plus, the men around during this discussion were a) shocked to hear I’m in my late 30′s, they thought I was younger and b) none of them were young guys so they were quite happy to hear I’m not into young guys! A fairly cute guy sat on the other end of the sofa from me, and MasterDoc joined in the conversation when he came back. Apparently a guy like him is called a “panther.” We joked about how MasterDoc stays young by fucking younger women.

MasterDoc soon had me get on my knees in the main area and give him a blow job. He was in a rather dominant mood last night. He was very verbal, calling me a slut and telling me to suck it. I’m sure there was no doubt in any of the other men’s minds who was in charge in our coupling. He had me stop after a while and give him a kiss. He said to me, “So you want to fuck that guy.” I blushed, because I hadn’t said this but my body language must have given it away when I was talking to the guy. MasterDoc can read me so well!

He kept me on my knees and gave me a paddling. I hate the wooden paddle! Too bad I’ve lost my leather “slut” impression paddle. The wooden paddle stings like the dickens, and unlike the sting of a cane it’s spread over a larger area. He really gave me a paddling. I was very much his submissive slut last night. I felt a little embarrassed having him mention, in public, the fact that he had pissed on me the night before. I’m sure he was asserting who owns me in that situation.

While MasterDoc stepped out to answer a phone call, the guy I was interested in asked me how “things work here.” I told him that asking permission before touching is the way to go. I further explained that in my dynamic, however, you don’t ask me for permission, you ask MasterDoc. I think this probably intimidated the guy.

MasterDoc returned and soon we set up camp in a back bedroom. I curled up on the bed in my tight dress and sucked his cock. Once he was hard, he fucked me from behind. While teasing me mercilessly during that fuck, he lubed up my ass and slid my Njoy butt plug in. Then he slid his cock back in and talked about how tight I was with the plug in my ass. He made sure to describe in detail what was going on for the benefit of the men around us. I kept my head down and didn’t look to see who was there, but I really enjoyed feeling like his dirty whore. He played with the butt plug and continued to fuck me at varying speeds and depths. He fucked me until I was totally desperate to come, and then let me come. I squirted on the bed. Hopefully those around me could see this. He fucked my ass with the butt plug to continue the orgasm.

We cuddled a bit, and I enjoyed curling up near his cock, between his bent legs. He had me suck him hard again, with the condom still on. He had me get on top for a ride this time, and he made me really work for it. I wasn’t sure if my poor legs could hold out rocking myself back and forth on his cock. Again he teased me like crazy. The guy who I might have fucked watched but was too shy to ask to join in. MasterDoc let me come again as I rode him. I think I squirted all three times  I came last night.

My knees were having a hard time with the bed we were on but after a rest I pointed out that I could certainly go for another round. MasterDoc fucked me again with me on hands and knees. There was another puddle on the bed by the time he was done. I was pretty wiped out after this!

We wandered around a bit and another couple came in. The woman was very slim and wearing a short, short dress she pulled up over her ass once she entered the club. MasterDoc and I followed the couple into the back bdsm room. We sat on the bed and watched as he tied her to spanking bench. She wasn’t straddling it in the traditional way but was laying balanced on the top part on her back. Her man teased her body and she pulled a blindfold over her eyes. The guy who works there has met this couple before and he joined in touching her. MasterDoc asked permission and soon he was stroking her lean body as well. I watched the scene, wanting to masturbate but not wanting to encourage the guy sitting on the bed near me (I would have been willing to fuck him, but MasterDoc was too busy to give permission). Soon lots of guys are playing with her body; she had no idea whose hands were where. She stroked cocks around her. Just as I’m getting up to get a closer look at what MasterDoc and her man are doing to her pussy, MasterDoc waves me over to join in. I caressed her body, played with her tits, and MasterDoc had me take over the glass dildo in her pussy. I tried fucking her with it faster at one point, but she indicated she wanted it slow so of course I slowed down. I could feel the wetness from her cunt rub off on my hand when I’d get the dildo in deep. Her guy massaged her clit during all this. She was clearly enjoying the attention from the group that formed around her. I had guys try or ask to touch me while I was there, I indicated no. A little while in to things, a chubby African-American woman starts stroking my legs. I felt fine with this personally so I just checked in with MasterDoc to make sure that a woman touching me was fine by him. (It was.) She went for my pussy and she knew what she was doing. Soon my eyes were closing and  my body twitching a bit. I leaned on MasterDoc for support. A guy started fucking this woman from behind while she continued to grope me from behind – while we were all standing. I reached back to stroke the thighs and ample breasts of the woman behind me. And the woman on the spanking bench (it later turned out her name is Rebecca and her husband’s name is Raphael) had quite an orgasm.

Such a scene of utter debauchery, no? I love that I manage to get myself into these situations. Yes, we know I’m a slut.

MasterDoc told me at one point that I could come if I was able, but just around then the lady stopped playing with me. It was fun while it lasted though.

We chatted with Raphael and Rebecca at the bar for a bit. MasterDoc told them about this blog so they will be reading this at one point or another. (We got their preferred blog pseudonyms at that time. What, you didn’t think those were their real names did you? So far only one person, a friend of MasterDoc’s, has appeared on this blog under their real first name.) MasterDoc offered a sybian ride as Rebecca had never had one, and I talked up how amazing it is. MasterDoc exchanged phone numbers with Raphael and when we left they had an open invitation to come to MasterDoc’s for a “horsey ride” for Rebecca.

What an evening! I had a great time and got well fucked.

Hipsters, Metrosexuals and Sluts, Oh My!

Published on June 6, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, cunnilingus, cunt, exhibitionism, fantasy, gang bang, horny, kink, sex, sex parties, sex toys, shio, slut, squirting, stupid people, submissive and threesome. 1 Comment

Friday night I was excited to go to the swing club with MasterDoc and DeeDee. It had been a while since I had been there, and I have fun with them when we go together. I was feeling really horny and really up for some adventure – in other words I wasn’t having any sort of hang ups about my sexuality like I occasionally do. (Strangely, MasterDoc was not feeling the public sex thing so much.)  We started getting sexual and a guy, a nice looking one at that, came into the room and asked if he could watch. Of course MasterDoc said yes. He was even thinking that the guy was attractive and I’d probably like fucking him. Too bad he fucked it all up.

MasterDoc was making out with me, DeeDee was kneeling on the floor blowing MasterDoc. And this fucking idiot grabbed at DeeDee – not an innocuous, testing touch on the shoulder or something – no, he grabbed her cunt. MasterDoc was suitably pissed off and told the guy directly to fuck off and leave. Hopefully he learned a lesson in respect and consent that night. I didn’t see the guy again for the rest of the night – I have a feeling he left after being told off like that and fucking up so badly.

We ended up moving into the next room where the air conditioning wasn’t quite so cold and there is a larger bed. MasterDoc teased me, and DeeDee played with his ass as he did so. I was really worked up and eager to be fucked.

Now, I learned something that night – a couple – one that DeeDee and I found to be pretty repulsive – climbed onto the bed with us and started fooling around with each other – and reaching over to touch me every so often. I had such a hard time staying turned on because I really didn’t want that guy touching me. I was really unhappy that MasterDoc didn’t stop him. Turns out that in traditional couples’ swinging that’s what you do – you plop on the bed next to someone and the women start to mess around with each other. I didn’t know this.  While MasterDoc got me up on all fours and fucked me, I had a hard time staying with the pleasure because that creepy guy was touching me. If I was there as a single woman and non-submissive, I would have told him to stop. But as a sub I’m expected to let MasterDoc control these things. And at times like that it fucking sucks.

But MasterDoc fucked me hard, with a lot more pounding than usual. DeeDee groped me and focusing on them I managed to enjoy myself and come really hard (and squirt).

We gathered our stuff and went for a drink. Sitting on a sofa in front of the bar (it’s byob but they provide soda, juice water, etc.). MasterDoc started playing with DeeDee and he had me get out a vibe. I pulled out my nea since I know she loves it. Since I’m one who knows how to turn it on, I started using it on her nipples then cunt once I got it vibrating. She closed her eyes and got really aroused. I opened her pussy lips to get it right against clit, which she really liked. MasterDoc told her to come, and with both of us working her over she came really hard. MasterDoc took over the nea, and then started slapping her pussy to make her come. DeeDee was in her happy place although I think orgasming like a slut from being pussy slapped can make her feel too slutty.

I watched some of the porn that was on, and I realized that sluts are sexy because they enjoy having sex. We’re socialized to think slutty=bad, but dammit, sluts have the best time!

I noticed that there was an unusual amount of cute guys at the club that night. I was so up for sex that I managed to smile confidently at a hot Asian lady and her gentleman. She seemed interested, he wasn’t.  Boo. She commented on my collar and it was one of various things that led us to think that there was a D/s dynamic to their relationship.

Now I not only looked out for hot women to share with MasterDoc, I also noticed the cute guys. Since I was feeling especially horny and slutty on a night with cute guys, I thought that things intersected perfectly to try to get that gangbang MasterDoc has promised me for forever. MasterDoc sometimes doesn’t know who I’ll find cute and who I won’t. There was a skinny hipster guy with longish hair and a beard who MasterDoc thought I wouldn’t like. But damn, I thought he was cute. (I’m not really sure of his ethinicity if he’s hispanic or asian or some combination thereof. Mr. Hipster played around with DeeDee after getting MasterDoc’s permission while I played with MasterDoc’s spot. An attractive guy came over and sat on the floor in front of me and offered to give me a foot rub. Turns out he’s a submissive (and a foot fetishist) and so he was easy to talk to. We pointed out that DeeDee is the switchy one and after my foot rub he gave her one at her request. While DeeDee had his attention, MasterDoc made me come with his fingers right there in front of everyone one. I felt so fucking hot. All these attractive guys were looking at me like I was the hottest thing on two legs – and in a way I was. I enjoy sex. I don’t hide it. That’s fucking hot. The hipster guy came closer expressing interest and a cute metrosexual guy with hip glasses too. (Goodness knows I had been giving them the eye and encouraging smiles.) MasterDoc let them touch me and soon the hipster was playing with my tits while I stroked his cock and the metro guy was massaging my thighs and cunt. To my glee, MasterDoc decided to let me get fucked like I desired. He made me say what I wanted loudly – which is damn hot in and of itself.

We wander off to  the exhibitionist room and I stroked metro guy to get him hard and he grabbed a condom to be ready to fuck me. MasterDoc checked in with DeeDee and left her in charge of herself. (She got cunnilingus from foot guy, which of course led to lots of fabulous orgasms.)

Metro guy fucked me with him on top, and it felt great but he was so turned on by me (lil’ ol’ me??) that he came pretty quickly. Next hipster fucked me, after asking MasterDoc if he could put me in doggy style position. He lasted much longer and I came, face buried in MasterDoc’s lap as he tells me “good girl.” MasterDoc had me suck his cock, and he made me keep my head down before a third guy started fucking me. Third guy had wiry pubic hair and kept slipping out – not a great fuck. Plus I worried that he would skeeve me since MasterDoc made me not look at him – but I got a look afterward and while he wasn’t as “cute” as the hipster and metrosexual, he seemed like a nice guy and someone I felt comfortable with.

I really enjoyed blowing MasterDoc while being a well fucked slut. A lot of guys watched the whole scene and one or two expressed interest in being next. MasterDoc got one guy to hold the flashlight and highlight the fucking and blowing going on. DeeDee came over at that point and we took turns blowing MasterDoc.

We called it a night at this point, and I was a very happy slut. It’s funny how people try to say that slutty women have low self-esteem – I get far sluttier when I feel confident and love myself.

Another Night of Debauchery

Published on May 22, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, cunnilingus, exhibitionism, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, sex toys, slut and sybian. 1 Comment

Last night we attended a kink party run by a Master whose parties we’ve been to a few times. MasterDoc has been providing his sybian in exchange for our entrance to the party. While it’s wonderful having the sybian there sometimes it’s a drag because MasterDoc gets asked to run the machine, rather than spending time playing with me. I love watching women on the sybian, so a certain amount of this is just fine and dandy, but it’s hard to feel ignored for an extended period of time. Luckily MasterDoc checks in with me and he made sure that I wasn’t left to my own devices too long. Part of the issue I’m sure is my shyness. If I was more outgoing and would go chat with people then maybe I wouldn’t feel so lonely when he doesn’t have his attention on me.

MasterDoc dropped me off with the sybian and our toys so he could park the car without having to lug the sybian far. I went with the organizer and set up the sybian, then I opted to stay in that back room by myself because I was feeling especially shy – and I had gotten into subspace pretty quickly. I wore my collar and sat patiently waiting for MasterDoc. With my leather waist cincher on I sat up straight with my hands demurely in my lap. A couple of men spoke to me a little, but  for the most part I was on my own.

While I was sitting there, I realized that part of submission for me is to let go and be taken care of. I felt really like I needed MasterDoc there for me to function well. It’s not an easy way to feel – I felt helpless. But there’s something about dropping my defenses so totally and letting him be in charge that is soothing. I love when he takes care of me. Thankfully my neediness last night didn’t seem to annoy him – I realize that sometimes neediness can be overwhelming and can hamper the enjoyment of the night. But he seemed to be firmly in “take care of Nadia”  mode himself, so it worked out well.

There was an adult baby there, and MasterDoc saw this as somewhat sexy for the first time. While being a baby is not my thing, I have to admit that where I didn’t understand age play at all until about a year ago I now realize that it would be lovely to be a little girl for a while. To be nurtured by the loving adult (my Dom). To be guided by him. I felt adrift for much of my childhood, and so it’s not surprising that getting that sort of attention as an adult would seem appealing to me. I often couldn’t rely on my mother – emotionally mainly – and being able to truly trust and rely on someone just sounds super special. If you think like I previously did, please know that age play is not at all about playing with actual children. It’s about being able to be in a head-space where one of you regresses for a while and the other is the nurturer (or disciplinarian, whatever you agree upon). You’re both always consenting adults and this is key. It’s a form of role play, and I think we all know that it can be hot or fun or comforting to play a role that we don’t live in real life. (Think of someone who’s straitlaced in real life getting to role play a raunchy prostitute. She doesn’t become a prostitute, but she gets to enjoy, for  while,  being wanton like she envisions a prostitute to be.)

While I waited for MasterDoc at the beginning of the evening, I chuckled at myself when I realized what a stereotype I am – I’ m a mild mannered librarian by day and a sexual freak at night. At a kink party you see people as these sexual, exciting, kinky people, and you forget that during their day to day lives they’re probably as ordinary as everyone else. During the slave auction, a submissive male who is a doctor in real life was being auctioned off. (Not to mention MasterDoc being on the other end of the D/s spectrum and a doctor as well.) Being a kinkster is just part of a whole, but it’s such a relief when you can express that part and integrate it with the rest of you. Keeping it totally hidden is so hard.

When MasterDoc got there, he found me and we cuddled a bit. I told him how I was feeling exceptionally shy and he had me suck his cock since he knew that would make me feel better. Ha ha. It actually did as it got  me out of my head full of worries and into doing something hot. This didn’t last long unfortunately as he needed to use the bathroom, but it was a nice interlude all the same.

Our friend V. was there with a friend of hers. She doesn’t have any marks from the beating MasterDoc gave her on Monday, but my ass is still pretty bruised from him giving me a similar beating on Tuesday night. It was good to see her. Her friend seems nice enough but the poor guy is going through a rough marriage breakup, so he’s dealing with a whole lot of unpleasant emotions right now.

I was clutching to MasterDoc’s arm while we all talked. I was a bit off to the side so I missed bits of the conversation, which I was kind of thankful for when some sort of evil idea was suggested to MasterDoc and he ultimately decided not to do it to me. (“I don’t know what you were thinking and I don’t think I want to know!”) MasterDoc got out the Gigi vibe and made me spread my legs. Very few people were playing so early in the evening, and we were in a somewhat well lit area. My shyness and nerves impeded progress a little, but ultimately I shut my eyes and let him get me worked up with the vibe. I actually spoke up to let him know that I wanted him to hold it more firmly against my clit. He made me come in front of so many people, telling me I’m a good girl the whole time. It was lovely.

MasterDoc had had me pack a bondage outfit I dreamed up a while ago. I was excited that we were going to finally use it, but alas we didn’t around to it. The idea is for me to be in my waist cincher, the behind the back restraints, gagged, Njoy butt plug up my butt and nipple clamps on my nipples. I’m keeping up hope we’ll use it sometime soon.

I can’t really complain though. I got to see a very sexy Bosnian woman take a sybian ride. It’s fascinating how much I can get aroused and enjoy the sybian ride vicariously. I totally had the hots for this woman, but she’s a submissive to the party organizer, and while very friendly she mostly stayed with her sister subs. I felt bad for her, as her Dom likes lengthy orgasm control – so she got a sybian ride but was not allowed to come for a very long time. I am so lucky that MasterDoc is not into any sort of long term orgasm control.

After her ride, things broke up around us a bit, and MasterDoc checked in on me. While during her ride I was perfectly happy watching, after I started feeling sad that the organizer was lining up more of his women for rides – when we walked into the back room initially the intention had been to give me a ride. MasterDoc acknowledged that this can be hard, and since everyone else was busy elsewhere, he gave me my ride then. Before long I was screaming in orgasm and humping the machine. I flailed around, grabbing onto MasterDoc and the chair he was sitting on. I could feel him laughing a bit as I totally lost control. I buried my face into his chest and thrashed around. It feels so good that I want it to last forever, but it’s also physically taxing so I eventually feel like I can’t take any more.

I lay down on the mat beside the sybian after, and MasterDoc gave me some wonderful aftercare and cuddles. I rested for what seemed like a good long while.

After I got up, another lady came for a sybian ride – this one being one of the sub sisters of the woman I had the hots for. The woman I had the hots for asked if she could hold her sister while on the sybian while MasterDoc ran the sybian from off to the side. He of course agreed to this (one of the things I love about him is that he puts the comfort and pleasure of the women above whatever hankering he may have for having a sexy woman grab on to him). That sybian ride turned into one of the hottest things I have ever seen. The sister starts suckling on sexy woman’s full breasts, and after a bit works her way down to going down on her – while still getting a sybian ride. Fucking hell! I had a ringside seat to tremendous hotness. I craved joining in, but of course not knowing either of the women I didn’t just jump in. I eventually got over my shyness and asked the sexy woman if I she would mind if I played with her tits. She replied, “No, not at all.” Rowr. I tugged on her nipples, sucked the nearest one and did my best to add to the pleasure of this curvy woman.

It was damn hot.

When MasterDoc got asked to give another ride, I realized that with V. there I could go visit with her rather than feeling neglected or bored. I asked permission to go find her and of course it was granted. She was being flogged by her friend when I found her, so I sat nearby and watched until they were finished. (Their play came to a close when nearby a submissive male allegedly touched a Domme’s ass without asking and she went ballistic on him. And as a feminist I think it’s damn wonderful that there are dominant women who will put out of line men in their place. She was firm, she was clear and I bet he would think thrice before doing anything like that again. Permission guys. You need to get permission.)

I hung out with V. for a few minutes and MasterDoc appeared after the sybian ride. It was getting late and while I loved my time being around perverts, it was time to head home. We packed up our stuff and I waited outside with the toys until MasterDoc brought the car around.

I went home a really happy camper. Oh sure I felt disappointment at not having been bound in the behind the back restraints and led around the party. But I had had such a good time that I didn’t want to mention this and make MasterDoc think I was in any way unhappy. We got to bed around 4 a.m. and slept til noon.

Life is good.

Oops, I Did It Again

Published on May 4, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, blow jobs, cunt, embarrassment, exhibitionism, horny, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, piss play, sex, sex parties, sex toys, sexuality, slut, spanking and submissive. 2 Comments

It had been nearly a week since we had been together. I wrote some erotica over the weekend that made me stop and masturbate in the middle of writing it. I was so incredibly wet that afternoon. I should write erotica more often as I really enjoyed putting together this last one. Right now my sexual theme seems to be about mental sex more than the physical, so writing out a fantasy can be nearly as fulfilling as doing it. (Nearly. Not quite.) I’m getting better and better at working myself up mentally when I’m thinking about MasterDoc.

I did some of this last night while he went off to use the restroom after we arrived at the club. I watched some porn that I could see from the next room, and I thought about how slutty it was that I wore a perfectly presentable dress out to the club with no panties. I think in a way it’s hotter to be wearing a dress that makes you look like a 1950′s housewife when you’re out slutting around than wearing slutty clothes. Slutty clothes are so predictable. I want to seem like the girl next door whose perverse desires have taken away her inhibitions.

When MasterDoc came back and lay down with me, all it took was a few words and some gentle touches before I was breathing heavy and wanting to come. He threatened me with the scenario of doing a piss scene in public and having other random men piss on me too. He knows that this is something that will set up a struggle within me. I will feel like I’m sick and sorta bad to want something like that, but I do want it and it’s really hot to want to do something that’s just so out there and so wrong. Just by threatening me with these scenes he arouses me tremendously. And that’s where the idea of mental sex comes in. His fucking with my mind can be hotter than just physical stimulation. I’m always glad for the physical to follow and finish off the deal, but foreplay using my brain is just so fucking hot. Being a submissive, for me, is rooted in wanting to be stimulated mentally, in enjoying the way he plays with my brain as much as the way he plays with my cunt.

He toyed with my body a bit. My cunt was quite accessible with just a lift of my dress. I didn’t take the dress off all night despite all that I got up to. I find that I start leaning into him and feeling like I’m being pulled into his center of gravity or something. I can’t get enough of his touch, his voice, his breathing, his skin, his cock. He had me suck his cock for a while, and I got lost in doing it. It was such a turn on to suck his cock, and then again a turn on to think how it must turn him on that I genuinely love sucking his cock.
He had me get out a condom and get on top. After working myself up over the weekend through my story and all the anticipation of seeing him yesterday, I was unfettered by inhibitions. I rode his cock, moaning at how it felt good. He would thrust up into me and I’d get lost in the feelings of arousal. If I started to become aware of my surrounding again, he’d fuck harder and then I’d be lost in the sensation. Sex with him can be so overwhelming that I truly lose track of all that’s around me. But then, blocking out the people watching, who I love having watch, helps me deal with feeling so terribly slutty about wanting to have people watch.

I rode him for quite a while, and finally begged him to let me come. He let me and it was amazing. I rode him furiously until I was spent and we both needed a rest and something to drink. I felt great after. I think he did as well.

After some rest, he had me suck his cock some more. Once hard, he had me get on hands and knees and use a vibrator on myself. (I used the Gigi on my clit.) He paddled my ass a bit and fucked me from behind. I’m not sure how many people were watching as I made a point of turning my head away from the door. His cock stayed hard for what seemed like an eternity. I was senseless from the fucking and eventually had to beg to come again. I was a sweaty mess, hair tangled in my hand, as I came and came, pressing my face into the bed. He kept me coming for so long I wasn’t sure I could physically handle it after a while.

After I had rested a little, he let another guy touch me. I hadn’t seen this guy at all, I had no idea who it was. But being MasterDoc’s slut was such a tremendous turn on for me – it didn’t matter who it was, what mattered was that I was being groped and fingered for his pleasure. The guy fingered me to orgasm while I continued to use the Gigi on my clit. MasterDoc spoke about what a slut I was while he was doing it, and he handed the guy a condom so he could fuck me. Damn. Having a faceless fuck who my Dom picked out was so fucking hot. It got me really worked up and I came some more.

In yet another act of incredible sluttitude, the guy lubed up my ass and put it in, and I figured that MasterDoc surely saw what was going on and was okay with it. And when this guy’s cock entered my ass and it felt a little underlubed, I got off on getting roughly ass fucked by some stranger under my Dom’s control. The funny thing is, afterward he acted surprised that I was fucked up the ass, although this time he did know it was going on. (Remember last time something similar happened?) We had to teach the guy not to put his dick back in my pussy after, however, without changing condoms. (It really is dismaying how little people know about sex, and how things like ass-to-pussy is a no-no.)

I was spent and MasterDoc could tell so he had the guy stop fucking me. I lay there getting my breath back. I wanted to cuddle, but I was truly too tired to shift over a foot or two to reach MasterDoc. Instead, I reached out and played with “the spot” on his chest from afar. He came over to me when I spoke up that I wanted a cuddle, but couldn’t move.

You would think after all this I would be done for the night. But no, I was still horny. MasterDoc fucked me again, this time with him on top. I loved cracking open my eyes to look up into his when I could manage it. I am so hot for him.

We got drinks after the last round (need to rehydrate!) and snacked a bit (fucking makes me hungry). I was still feeling like a horny slut but MasterDoc clearly was ready to go. So I dialed down my horniness and prepared to leave.

At the last minute, a couple of Hasidm came in and MasterDoc mumbled something about how we have to do a show for them before we go. (His ex once said that his ultimate fantasy would be to have sex in Macy’s window. You know, the one in downtown New York City….) He sat on a sofa in the common area, put a pillow on the floor for me, and had me suck his cock for all to see. I really fucking enjoyed it. I realize that this is the sort of thing that gets women shunned from our uptight, puritanical, American society (see what happened recently to sex blogger The Beautiful Kind) – but I am a woman who loves sex. I do fear that being so open about this fact on the blog could result in something like what happened to TBK, but I hope that by being open I can move along society and create more people who realize that being into sex doesn’t make someone dirty, bad, undesirable or less of a worker. Talking about sex doesn’t make me any less of a professional librarian. Having lots of sex doesn’t make me any less of a professional either.

The Man with the Sybian

Published on April 17, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, depression, emotions, exhibitionism, flogging, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm on command, sex parties, sex toys, shio, spanking and squirting. 0 Comments

Last night I went out to a party with MasterDoc and DeeDee. She’s now staying with MasterDoc until she gets herself settled in New York, so we’ll get to hang out more often.

I was feeling blue and moody, thanks to the usual premenstrual issues, but I was at least able to control my feelings this time, and realize that they were hormonal rather than real issues. It was wonderful that DeeDee noticed I was out of sorts and she asked what she could do or not to that evening to help – this is why we’re friends. Just hearing that helped de-grumpify me a little bit.

We went out in the pouring rain because MasterDoc was bringing the sybian to this party, so he had an obligation to show up. I found early in the evening that I needed cuddles more than anything else, and DeeDee and I sat on either side of him on a sofa for a while after we arrived at the party. The cuddles definitely helped me. I was fortunate since MasterDoc and DeeDee had had sexual and bdsm fun in the afternoon, so he focused on me a little more which I really needed last night.

The party started really slowly. It seemed the singletons showed up early so no one was playing. I felt like we were beyond the kink level of the attendees, but later when things started picking up and more couples arrived, I found that while we were decidedly more sexual than most, the others there were pretty damn kinky. I went down on MasterDoc for a while (despite the slight discomfort from bending over in my waist cincher) and DeeDee took a turn after.

MasterDoc knows that spanking, coupled with orgasms, usually helps my mood a great deal. So he had me kneel on the sofa, facing the back and take my pants down. He spanked and flogged me for a while and it helped my asocial mood to be able to close my eyes and just focus on the beating. He soon had DeeDee kneel on the sofa next to me, and he took turns flogging, spanking and caning us both. It was strange to hear two blows but not feel anything (when he hit DeeDee) and then suddenly the next two blows hit my ass. He gave us vibes to play with and made us work ourselves up. It’s funny because both DeeDee and I felt kinda like it was somehow not okay to be so sexual when no one else was doing anything. But still, regardless of anxiety, MasterDoc’s voice telling us to come made us come at once. I was afraid to squirt on my pants that were down around my knees, so I held back a little, but I did come. The orgasms were kinda like skipping stones across a pond – not deep but repetitive.

MasterDoc gave me the first sybian ride of the evening, and the orgasms did me a world of good. If you ever get a chance to watch a woman on a sybian, please do. It is amazing how hard a woman can come – and now much! – when riding that amazing vibrator. My orgasms were insane – I kept coming over and over. Grabbing blindly at MasterDoc and coming uncontrollably. I squirted a couple of times and had to clean up afterwards. He kept pushing me until I was too exhausted to come any more. I lay down on the couch after and was happy when I could rest my head on MasterDoc’s lap. MasterDoc’s pms cure had worked again!

DeeDee is exploring her switchiness and she got to talking to a submissive man at the party. He seemed nice. Not entirely her type but at least he put service before his own kinky desires – quite refreshing compared to the guys DeeDee has met on collar me. He gave DeeDee a foot rub, and she kindly got him to give me one after. Ah it was wonderful. I may not be at all dominant, but I do appreciate a good foot rub. He did it as long as either of us wanted him to. He also bought DeeDee a soda when she asked, and later he helped her out of her panties when she went to ride the sybian and he held them during her ride – I’m sure that was an exciting bit of the night for him.

MasterDoc got another taker for the sybian and he gave a ride to another lady while her man held her up, and held her arms behind her back (oooh, restraint during intense orgasms! Me want!). DeeDee and I sat with the submissive man and discussed the progression that goes on during a sybian ride. It starts of seeming like nothing much, soon the woman is bucking her hips and riding the machine. Then it keeps intensifying and after a variable period of time she comes. Screaming orgasms. It may back off a little – partly because the body needs a break and partly because MasterDoc will turn down the vibrations a bit, but when he turns them back up another amazing orgasm is wrenched from her body. It is amazing and hot to watch. I think it’s even more so when you’ve been on a sybian yourself and you know the stages and how it feels.

The party host had a lady of his get a ride and didn’t let her come. Meanie! DeeDee and I were appalled and so thankful that MasterDoc isn’t into prolonged orgasm denial. Neither of us would be able to handle it. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to do, just not something that makes any sense whatsoever for me.

DeeDee wanted a sybian ride, so when MasterDoc looked around for more victims, er, volunteers I pointed to DeeDee to get his attention. Like I said earlier, the sub guy held her panties and while he fiddled with them a little he didn’t do anything creepy with them. It’s a shame he’s not more DeeDee’s type since he was quite nice, but I can see that a relationship wouldn’t really work with them. They’re not on the same page otherwise. DeeDee is really smart and educated, and she needs a man who can stimulate her intellectually.

MasterDoc hadn’t slept well the night before, and he decided to lay down on the couch and take a nap. He looked so cute sleeping there. There are times when you can still see the little boy inside the man and it’s incredibly endearing. DeeDee and I talked while MasterDoc napped.

Leaving was difficult since the party host wanted the sybian to stay around as long as possible, but I had worked that day and was pretty damn tired by 2 a.m. We were all ready to go home so we managed to say our goodbyes. The submissive guy happily carried the sybian out for us while MasterDoc pulled the car around.

I was in a much better mood after last night, and today, while I’m still feeling moody, I feel in relative control over myself. This is a good thing. MasterDoc had to go out in the morning for a while, and DeeDee and I just talked and talked for a few hours. As I tweeted at that time, life is good.