Archive for the 'sybian' Category

Bliss

Published on August 19, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, bdsm, blow jobs, bondage, horny, humiliation play, kink, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, restraints, sex, sex toys, shio, squirting and sybian. 0 Comments

After a week of no sex and not seeing much of MasterDoc, I got to break my sexual fast on Tuesday night. As MasterDoc popped a half of a “happy pill” (in this case, viagra) he joked that when you’re still young and strong enough to break the pill in half, you only need a half. But if you get older and feeble enough to not be able to break the pill, you probably need the whole at that point!

We lay close on the bed in the playroom. (Yes, he has a bedroom devoted to sex. All my toys are in there.) He revved me up with just gentle touches to my cunt – just the outer labia. Very quickly he had me twitching and breathing heavy. My response times with him have gotten to be pretty amazing. There’s always times when my head is not in the right place, but as long as I can focus and relax I get aroused by any and all touches from him.

He had me suck his cock and get it hard and it was nice to get it after a week without. My jaw got sore earlier than usual that night, and I pointed out that it hadn’t been used that way in a week! MasterDoc joked that he will have to send over practice cocks for me to suck to keep me in shape when he’s busy.

I had finally taken the time to put out toys as “hints.” I had long resisted getting out anything but what he asked for, as I don’t want to top from the bottom. But after telling me various times that I can suggest things (I just shouldn’t expect that they will necessarily be used), I put out some hints. Anal beads. Flogger. Gag. He had me kneel facing away from him, and he lubed up and slipped in the anal beads. He slid them in only part way, and mentioned how he loves the way they look like a tail when only partially inserted. (Nice bit of humiliation play there.) He gradually slid in each larger bead in with long intervals in between. He decided to fuck me while it was still partly out and I could feel his cock fill my cunt up while the beads pressed in my ass. I was soon writhing and desperate to come. He pushed the final beads in very slowly and gradually. He held me in desperation for what felt like an eternity. It probably wasn’t long but when you’re on the edge of orgasm every nanosecond takes forever.

After fucking me and making me come (a whole lot), he left me in bedroom with the behind back cuffs attached to my neck only, and my Gigi. (I can’t find a link to the cuffs. May not be available any more from sextoy.com. They consist of a leather collar, a long leather piece that goes down your back and cuffs at the end of that to secure your wrists.) He told me to warm myself up and I masturbated happily. I teased myself and made myself feel good. MasterDoc came back in several minutes later and asked if I was ready to be fucked. I replied, “Yes Sir,” and he took me to living room.

There I found the sybian all ready to go. After getting it condomed and lubed up, he put me on it and then used the cuffs to restrain my arms behind my back. He sat in front of me and gave me a hell of a ride. He was teasing so much but meanwhile I was so turned on by the bondage that I became wildly aroused at a lower setting than usual. He told me I didn’t need to hold off on begging to come if it wasn’t his cock in side me. (He usually wants me to wait as long as possible to beg for permission when he’s fucking me.) I begged soon after for orgasm and he let me come. My head leaned against his chest and kept me from toppling over. The sybian was still on fairly low vibration but I couldn’t resist begging him to turn it up and it made me come again, this time harder and I squirted all over the machine. He kept me feeling like jello and spasming for a while. He turned it down, and told me to come down slowly. But then he turned it up a little and made me come again before turning it slowly off.

Needless to say I was tired, but very happy.

Flirtation and Flogging

Published on June 20, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, attraction, bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, caning, edge play, exhibitionism, flogging, kink, masochism, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, sex parties, sex toys, slut, spanking, submissive and sybian. 0 Comments

I had a fabulous time Friday night! I don’t often name specific clubs or parties here, but Sir Magnus Romello’s bdsm parties (Avant Garde Loft) are ones to watch! They have really taken off. Look them up on fetlife.

I was a little more confident and I flirted with one of Sir Magnus’ submissives pretty blatantly. (I will call her Sofija here. She is Serbian so I picked out a Serbian name for her courtesy of a google search.) I had emailed her after meeting last time and we were maybe going to meet up for coffee. (But her Sir insisted she catch up on sleep while on that break from work. Fair enough.) Hitting on her was easier due to getting a clear vibe that she is interested too. But can you see it? Me – the Queen of the Lesbian Sheep Dance – I was forward. No joke.

I was more social this time around. Initially I thought Sofija didn’t remember me which bummed me out, but it was really down to dim lighting, my new bangs, and her being a little tipsy – she didn’t recognize me at first but then she was happy to see me. When MasterDoc saw my opportunity to chat with her, he pulled DeeDee away to walk around and left me talking with Sofija and her friend. Sofija invited me to come along with them when they went elsewhere in the club and I followed. We joked around with Sofija’s strap on and I was feeling pretty confident and good. Her friend for the evening was visiting from the south and she was a young (18 or 19 years old), gorgeous woman. (Tall, slim, pretty – and yet in conversation with her later that night it turns out she doesn’t realize how gorgeous she is. I hate how women are taught to feel insecure in our society.) I was thrilled when the younger woman had trouble believing that Sofija is in her early thirties and me in my late thirties. She said, “Everyone looks younger up here!”

The social period went on, I got side tracked from following Sofija and friend by running into DeeDee who was talking with a fem Domme. People are really quite friendly for the most part at these parties. I can see myself going regularly and getting to be friendly with some people. (Unlike when I wrote about another New York party on here that I didn’t enjoy as much.)

I was thrilled when MasterDoc started setting things up to flog me. He and DeeDee put my wrists in cuffs and attached me to a low St. Andrew’s cross. MasterDoc flogged me – first with the little flogger, then interrupted to spank me with his hands, and then the big flogger. He struck both my ass and my upper back. He was pretty intense with the hits and he even worked in the cane a few times. I cried out as loud as I could to be heard over the music. I checked in with him at one point to make sure he could hear me crying out. He said simply, “Yes,” and went back to work. Ok, then. As long as he was aware at how much pain he was causing, I was okay with that.

He teased me with a vibe, but the difficult thing is when you’re reaching around a woman from the back, it’s much harder to find her clit than from the front. He teased me a whole lot, mostly not on quite the right spot. He told me I could come ad-lib and as I started coming he pulled the toy away. Fuck. Orgasm interruptus. (He could hear cries of pain over the music but not the more subtle sounds of impending orgasm.) He had DeeDee help out with using the toy while he flogged me but bless her heart she’s still learning and couldn’t get the vibe on the right spot. I started laughing because the situation was kinda funny to me – I’m being teased but in such a way that the stimulation is not enough to get me anywhere near getting off. With my hands bound, I couldn’t show DeeDee where to put the vibe exactly. MasterDoc took over the toy again, and I was nearly – nearly! – to orgasm but my knees gave out. They started doing this popping thing and I couldn’t hold myself up any more. I need to get in shape.

I was so frustrated at not really coming, but my body was exhausted. I sat and rested for a while and then MasterDoc decided to give me the first sybian ride of the evening. It was wonderful to finally come! I screamed as I came. MasterDoc kept me coming over and over and over again. He pushed me past what I thought I could handle. DeeDee spanked me a bit and then she pressed against me and could feel the vibrations through my body. MasterDoc told her she could come as well, and she came pressed into me – which made me come harder.

I was exhausted after. Yes, even more so than before. I lay down on the mat next to the sybian for a while. MasterDoc chatted with DeeDee while I lay there, and at one point he started using me as a foot rest. Kinky perv that I am, I thought that was hot. Sometimes I really, really get into being submissive. After I had enough energy to sit up, I sat on the mat by his feet and hugged his leg. I do enjoy being the worshipful sub sometimes.

MasterDoc gave other sybian rides, of course. One of Sofija’s “sisters” (in her leather family) held the young Southern woman as she rode for her first time. MasterDoc sat off the to the side, watching her reactions and manning the controls. Sofija sat nearby and I initiated a little flirting. We held hands for a brief few moments. I was bold and started gently touching her skin, but she mentioned that her Sir said he didn’t want anyone touching her that night without his permission. I respected that of course and figured that perhaps some other time…. (Yes, I felt too shy to go ask her Dom. I mean, the guy’s a Dom, lil’ ol’ me can be intimidated even though he’s always been nice.)

MasterDoc told me a little later that he had spoken to Sir M a while ago and asked permission for me to hook up with Sofija. (!) And I was interested enough and forward enough tell her this straight out next opportunity I got. She wanted to ask her Sir to confirm and I agreed wholeheartedly, saying I didn’t know if the permission applied that night or not. She apparently got in trouble for something when she went over to him, and she was busy watching her sisters the rest of the evening. (I don’t get the sense that she got in trouble over me. She wrote me an email the next day saying she hopes she gets to spend more time with me in the future. *happy dance*)

There were some hot scenes going on. While DeeDee recovered from her sybian ride (I helped by massaging her ass and inner thighs while she came.) I asked permission to wander off and I got to see one couple doing fire play. It was fascinating. Right next to them there was a suspension going on – something I’ve never experienced either. Sir M was giving a flogging to a lass who wiggled so sexily. I saw her later with another Dom and he flogged her front while she writhed sexily again. I made a point of telling her how hot it was to watch her on the way out. She looked like an average woman, someone who would not necessarily be aware of her allure. (She looked like a nice Jewish girl. Not someone you’d assume to be a perv. You know, like most of us pervs – normal-looking!) She seemed really appreciative that I mentioned she was hot to watch.

I enjoyed watching some fem Dommes – especially with masculine male subs. Sissy male subs don’t do it for me. (Nothing wrong with others’ kinks, it’s just one that doesn’t do it for me. The adult baby there didn’t do it for me either. But I have gradually come to see that some age play can be fun. I don’t feel the need to regress to infancy myself.) I thought about how men are expected to be dominant sexually in our culture and the relief a submissive man must feel when he hooks up with a dominant woman for the first time. He can be himself. He doesn’t have to be in charge. It’s a wonderful thing that kinksters can find each other and bring so much pleasure. Other parties I’ve been to have often been male Dom/female sub heavy, but this party had many fem Dommes, sub men, switchy people. We saw two guys play – something you don’t see often. Even hopelessly straight MasterDoc thought it was cool that a male couple would feel comfortable enough to play. He may not be turned on by it, but he’s supportive of people enjoying the sexuality that turns them on.

Kinky Foursome

Published on June 6, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, bdsm, bisexuality, bondage, caning, cunnilingus, cunt, dom, fantasy, foursome, kink, non-monogamy, restraints, sex, sex toys, sexuality, shio, slut, spanking, squirting, swinging and sybian. 0 Comments

So our new friend – I didn’t get into the blog thing much so I have no idea what alias she’d like – and I prefer giving people the choice of their blog name. So I think I’ll still refer to her as “new friend” until (if) I can suss out what she wants to be called here.

She wrote a sexy, smart, fun ad on craigslist looking for a couple to Dominate her. She sent MasterDoc a picture – and is really cute. And while I so often feed on other people’s insecurities, I didn’t get the feeling from her that she had any issue with what she was doing there with us – and it was easier for me to join in than it usually is. (MasterDoc indicated that on the surface it didn’t look too different, but I really felt a difference in my comfort level.) Also, I worry that cute, young, thin people will look at me, or MasterDoc or DeeDee, and think one or more of us is too old, fat, unattractive, etc. I not only sell myself short, I sell my loved ones short too. (Horrible isn’t it? I mean, if I find them to be fucking hot why don’t I believe others will too?? Again, I buy too into the narrative that says you have to be young, thin, beautiful to be sexy. Dammit Nadia, stop that!)

I actually agreed, pretty easily too, to wear the maid costume yesterday. It seemed like it would fit the situation and indeed it did. DeeDee was in Domme mode and had on a fabulous outfit. (A red and black mesh fishtail sort of skirt and her black corset. Nice!) While there were times when it felt like we were playacting, I think that’s really what we wanted – to fulfill our fantasies. To not be totally “ourselves” the whole time. We clicked well on an “ourselves” level, but we also had great fun indulging our perversions.

As I said earlier, with this woman somehow I picked up that she was keen to fuck and be kinky like I so often am. I didn’t have doubts about her desires like I do around so many women. MasterDoc and DeeDee said they had a hard time reading her and seeing her get aroused initially, but I picked up on the subtle changes in her breathing or reactions. (MasterDoc is usually the master at this, but I guess I just clicked with her in that way a little more.)

MasterDoc got her on the bed and spanked her for a bit. He caned her a little too, something she hadn’t experienced before, and he of course kept it to a minimum. (She also mentioned that her non-kinky boyfriend wouldn’t like seeing her really marked up. He doesn’t get the sense of it being sexy like us kinky freaks do.) At some point he ended up spanking DeeDee and making her come.

We had put the underbed restraints on the bed before she got there, and MasterDoc had me help put her in the restraints. This makes me think back to the first time I played with MasterDoc alone, and I ended up restrained on his living room floor thinking, “Gee, I hope my impressions of him being safe are spot on, or I could be in deep shit!” Thankfully they were spot on, and maybe my presence and the trust I so clearly have for him can help convey this level of safety to other women who come play.

The details of this interlude are fuzzy like intense sexual experiences often are. I know that I used the gigi vibe on her body – teasing her breasts, belly, and pussy. I allowed myself to get into enjoying playing with her, and as a result this was probably far hotter for her than me being shy would have been. I can’t recall if we made her come with the toys just then – or after a short break. MasterDoc left her bound in the bedroom for a few minutes and spoke to DeeDee and I out in the living room. Then he and I went back in.

I went down on her, and I think I’m finally getting over my stupid hangups about giving oral sex to women. It’s so sad that I haven’t let myself enjoy it because I’ve been fed the notion that women’s genitals are “smelly” or “dirty” my whole life. Fuck that. Eating pussy can be really fun and hot.

Perhaps this is when we took over really working her body over – MasterDoc lubed up the gigi and put it inside. I used the magic wand on her clit. We took turns pounding her with our fingers (not an easy thing to do, but she reacted the most to that). Ultimately we made her come as she lay tied down on the bed.

I was feeling patient and secure for once – while I was horny and wanted orgasms I was truly able to trust that MasterDoc would see to me sooner or later. I immersed myself in enjoying the hot perversity going on around me, and didn’t require the focus to be on me.

I teased MasterDoc at one point and he decided to cane me. Once his attention turned to me, he realized that I hadn’t come yet, and before putting our guest on the sybian, he gave me a ride. Yummy! The unyearned for orgasms are sometimes the best – the surprise satisfaction you’re given while you’re being patient and not self-centered. I squirted like a fountain, came violently, and I’m sure impressed our guest. I had to lay down after, and DeeDee was so very kind to clean up for me.

I felt fucking great. It was time to get our guest on the sybian. MasterDoc gave her a ride while DeeDee spanked her (though MasterDoc didn’t think it was hard enough) and pressed against her. (I forgot to mention that DeeDee did the same to me – it was really hot but nearly anything could have been done to me at that point and I would have found it hot.) It took a while, but she came hard and came away from the experience agreeing that the sybian is fucking awesome. She even squirted for the first time!

She and I hung out chatting while DeeDee and MasterDoc ended up in the bedroom again. We could hear DeeDee coming, and while I’m usually an insatiable slut at that point in time I was ready to hang out and chat. That’s the type of friend with benefits I want – one I can hang out with and have intelligent conversation with – not just fucking.

Our new friend had to get going, so we said our goodbyes. I let her know that I hoped she comes back. We’ll see what comes of it. Although MasterDoc is concerned we focused too much on her pleasure and not enough on her use.

A little later, I was still sooooo horny. And this week I’ve only just come to realize that I repress a certain percentage of my horniness because once MasterDoc is done having sex, I figure I should be happy with what he gives me. But this isn’t the smartest move as I’ve started feeling resentful that a man with three girlfriends isn’t giving me as much sex and play as I’d like. It’s truly okay that he sees other women and has fun with them, but my sexual needs aren’t being met 100% – despite sex with MasterDoc being the best fucking sex I have ever had in my life. I’d be thrilled to have even more sex with him, but since he is so very poly, I realize that I need to find another person to help finish meeting my sexual needs. It’s definitely not that MasterDoc is inadequate – I repressed so much because I love him and last thing I want him to feel is inadequate. But like him, I like fucking a variety of people. Plus I’m in my late 30′s and like most women my age I’m phenomenally horny. When he was younger he did some weekends of just fucking, eating, sleeping, repeat, but I don’t think it’s where he is in his life just now. But it’s where I am. And I’ve realized I should find that – the wonderfulness of being poly is that I don’t HAVE to rely on MasterDoc to meet every single little need or desire I have.

So we had a little libido dissonance – MasterDoc was ready to relax after having a whole long sexual interlude. This was not unreasonable. But I was still insanely horny. I still crave a lot more involved and creative sex than he’s been up for lately. (I’m dying for bondage. I seriously need someone to make me feel helpless and come. I was craving intoxication play last night – anything to make me feel helpless. That’s one of my many kinks – feeling helpless and having someone fuck me in that state (when it’s consensual) makes me really, really hot. I want someone to do a big elaborate scene Domming me. I crave this. I don’t crave another D/s relationship – I crave a playpartner. I’m happy with MasterDoc as my Dom. But I want to be doing more.

He likes to make sure I’m satisfied, so he did eventually get in the mood and he fucked me. I loved it. I went to bed so very happy.

(I had a lot of struggle with whether he was doing it just to make me happy. I never want a partner to have sex with me solely because I want it – I’d rather be horny and frustrated than feeling like I pressured someone into something. He had to convince me he WANTED sex too. He just wasn’t starting from the same horny spot I was in.)

Misunderstandings Suck

Published on June 3, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, anger, anxiety, depression, derangement, embarrassment, emotions, musings, neurosis, non-monogamy, poly, sex, sybian and threesome. 0 Comments

Even the best relationships have rough patches and misunderstandings. Unfortunately Monday night led to me misunderstanding and getting really upset. Consequently, I spent most of Tuesday upset.

I spent the Monday holiday with MasterDoc, and after we went out to lunch he gave me a sybian ride. I squirted like a sprinkler all over the machine and the floor. Leading up to this, I had laid out nipple clamps, the Hitachi magic wand and my Gigi in the bedroom and gotten started without him. (Hey, I was horny!) He put the clamps on my nipples and led me into the living room where he had set up the sybian. He also grabbed the riding crop to swat my ass while he gave me the ride.

It is delicious how he teases me by varying the speed of the vibration. He tugged on the nipple clamps (one of which didn’t want to stay put) and spanked me with the crop. As I said before, when I came I squirted. I had to clean up the machine and the carpet afterward.

DeeDee was due home that evening, and he made it clear that I would not be the focus of our play that night, and I understood that. DeeDee hadn’t seen him since Friday morning. The three of us hung out watching t.v. for a bit after dinner, and I stumbled upon a Lady Gaga fest on Fuse. When MasterDoc decided it was time to head to the bedroom, I semi-seriously said, “But Gaga is on!” He said that’s fine, I can watch it. Seeing my chance at sex as slipping away, I said, “But this could go on for hours! I don’t have to watch it.” He pointed out that I should enjoy myself and watch for the next half hour or so, until whatever segment was over.

I was a bit inebriated that evening, and I started to wonder if he wanted time alone with DeeDee. In theory there’s nothing wrong with this, but since a threesome had been implied, I felt left out being left in the living room watching Gaga videos (amid many commercials). I somehow in my muddled mind started to think that I was being left out for the whole evening. I debated back and forth – would he really do that? Well as a good sub I should respect that and do my best to enjoy my evening in the living room. But I felt really left out and sad. I felt rejected. I felt like I was being punished for something.

I went to the bathroom at one point and he came to check on me. During our brief conversation I got the impression that he did want me to stay in the living room. But he also said something about coming in. I peeked in the bedroom after I left the loo and they were intensely close and I worried that I’d be barging in. I thought I had misinterpreted him. I went back to the living room.

I lay sadly on the sofa, watching t.v. and clutching the stuffed dog one of his other girlfriends had given him (who I’ve taken a liking to and named Brian after the dog on Family Guy). MasterDoc and DeeDee came out at one point and said they were going to set up the air conditioner in DeeDee’s room. Ok. It’s a good thing because the evening was hot, but I thought to myself (incorrectly), “Well that’s the end of that. No sex for me.”

After the a/c was in, MasterDoc sat on the sofa next to me and reached over to part my legs. He started playing with my cunt and I was confused – was he doing this because I seemed upset at the lack of attention? Was I taking attention away from DeeDee and being a selfish little bitch in a way? Should I enjoy what he was doing and orgasm? The night wasn’t supposed to be about me. I felt guilty for feeling so upset over being left out. He managed to wrench a hard orgasm out of me despite my terrible mindset. I was feeling bewildered.

Now, reading this you know that I had misunderstood. But at the time I didn’t know this, and I was really ruminating over it all. MasterDoc decided to have me join them, and I thought, “Oh hey, maybe I was wrong. Maybe I’ll be included now.” But then I went back to my original theory when it turned out I was invited in to teach DeeDee the touching technique I’ve learned that turns MasterDoc on. And so my inebriated brain thought, “Great, I’m just coming in to improve their sex life.”

I struggled all night to be a “good” submissive and accept things as they came. For a while I did get into touching MasterDoc and I was able to stop feeling depressed and truly enjoy myself. (It is amazing being able to make your Dom twitch from your touch.) I taught DeeDee some of the technique and MasterDoc was a very happy man having us both massage his inner thighs.

DeeDee headed off again (the reason why escapes me) and MasterDoc asked if I wanted to get fucked. I went for it since it had been nearly a week since I had his cock in me, but with all my neuroses hard at work I wasn’t sure I’d enjoy it. He could see I was distressed in some way, checked in with me, and I was worried that he’d go off to DeeDee’s room right after fucking me, leaving me alone without aftercare. He made it clear that I was supposed to enjoy myself and that I would get cuddles after. So I did let go and come hard when he fucked me, but my brain still was chugging along the wrong track.

He slept with DeeDee that night, which I knew about ahead of time. As I lay in bed trying to sleep (I had work in the morning) I could hear DeeDee coming even through the earplugs I wear to bed. This just fueled my distressed mind. I had a hard time falling asleep and was completely miserable.

I spent the next morning filled with angst. I laid into MasterDoc when I ran into him online during the day. Poor guy didn’t know what I was going on about. By this time my insecurity had been thoroughly tapped into and pain and sadness flowed from me. It was a hellish day at work.

But when I got back to MasterDoc’s that evening, he and I talked. I broke down and got a little hysterical after explaining to him that part of expressing myself to me is letting the emotions show (he always tries to get me to talk calmly, without raising my voice). He’s far more rational and thick-skinned than me, so my reactions put him off. I’m very emotional. I’ve worked for years on becoming more rational, and I’ve improved, but sometimes my emotions take over. I expressed how truly painful the incident on Sunday with my toys on the floor had been for me – I know it’s something he wouldn’t have a second thought about. He’s not bothered by things like that. But for me it triggers something deep.

I cried. I was angry. I was sad. I was unfortunately bitchy. I jabbed with words, which I’m unfortunately good at. The feeling that I really need more sex and need to see more people overwhelmed me. I’m not sure that was really the deep-seated issue at hand, but it’s something that came out. He is open to me playing with others, etc. Now I need to get off my ass and meet other potential partners. After the discussion was over, I was left feeling terrible because I had truly made him hurt. He’s not hyper-expressive like I am, but I could see in his eyes that I really hurt him.

I’ve been feeling bad about it since, although I know that you can’t take back words, but you can try to be different going forward. I’m going to focus more on complimenting him and less on criticizing. Really, in so many ways I’m over the moon with him. He really can make me happy. I should de-emphasize the negative and as Louis Armstrong sang, “Acc-cent-choo-ate the positive.” I plan to be with him for a very long time.

When I get an occasional email on Facebook saying what a lucky man MasterDoc is to have me, I think about these times when I’m overemotional, or depressed, and I think that I’m very much the lucky one.

Another Night of Debauchery

Published on May 22, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, cunnilingus, exhibitionism, kink, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex, sex parties, sex toys, slut and sybian. 1 Comment

Last night we attended a kink party run by a Master whose parties we’ve been to a few times. MasterDoc has been providing his sybian in exchange for our entrance to the party. While it’s wonderful having the sybian there sometimes it’s a drag because MasterDoc gets asked to run the machine, rather than spending time playing with me. I love watching women on the sybian, so a certain amount of this is just fine and dandy, but it’s hard to feel ignored for an extended period of time. Luckily MasterDoc checks in with me and he made sure that I wasn’t left to my own devices too long. Part of the issue I’m sure is my shyness. If I was more outgoing and would go chat with people then maybe I wouldn’t feel so lonely when he doesn’t have his attention on me.

MasterDoc dropped me off with the sybian and our toys so he could park the car without having to lug the sybian far. I went with the organizer and set up the sybian, then I opted to stay in that back room by myself because I was feeling especially shy – and I had gotten into subspace pretty quickly. I wore my collar and sat patiently waiting for MasterDoc. With my leather waist cincher on I sat up straight with my hands demurely in my lap. A couple of men spoke to me a little, but for the most part I was on my own.

While I was sitting there, I realized that part of submission for me is to let go and be taken care of. I felt really like I needed MasterDoc there for me to function well. It’s not an easy way to feel – I felt helpless. But there’s something about dropping my defenses so totally and letting him be in charge that is soothing. I love when he takes care of me. Thankfully my neediness last night didn’t seem to annoy him – I realize that sometimes neediness can be overwhelming and can hamper the enjoyment of the night. But he seemed to be firmly in “take care of Nadia” mode himself, so it worked out well.

There was an adult baby there, and MasterDoc saw this as somewhat sexy for the first time. While being a baby is not my thing, I have to admit that where I didn’t understand age play at all until about a year ago I now realize that it would be lovely to be a little girl for a while. To be nurtured by the loving adult (my Dom). To be guided by him. I felt adrift for much of my childhood, and so it’s not surprising that getting that sort of attention as an adult would seem appealing to me. I often couldn’t rely on my mother – emotionally mainly – and being able to truly trust and rely on someone just sounds super special. If you think like I previously did, please know that age play is not at all about playing with actual children. It’s about being able to be in a head-space where one of you regresses for a while and the other is the nurturer (or disciplinarian, whatever you agree upon). You’re both always consenting adults and this is key. It’s a form of role play, and I think we all know that it can be hot or fun or comforting to play a role that we don’t live in real life. (Think of someone who’s straitlaced in real life getting to role play a raunchy prostitute. She doesn’t become a prostitute, but she gets to enjoy, for while, being wanton like she envisions a prostitute to be.)

While I waited for MasterDoc at the beginning of the evening, I chuckled at myself when I realized what a stereotype I am – I’ m a mild mannered librarian by day and a sexual freak at night. At a kink party you see people as these sexual, exciting, kinky people, and you forget that during their day to day lives they’re probably as ordinary as everyone else. During the slave auction, a submissive male who is a doctor in real life was being auctioned off. (Not to mention MasterDoc being on the other end of the D/s spectrum and a doctor as well.) Being a kinkster is just part of a whole, but it’s such a relief when you can express that part and integrate it with the rest of you. Keeping it totally hidden is so hard.

When MasterDoc got there, he found me and we cuddled a bit. I told him how I was feeling exceptionally shy and he had me suck his cock since he knew that would make me feel better. Ha ha. It actually did as it got me out of my head full of worries and into doing something hot. This didn’t last long unfortunately as he needed to use the bathroom, but it was a nice interlude all the same.

Our friend V. was there with a friend of hers. She doesn’t have any marks from the beating MasterDoc gave her on Monday, but my ass is still pretty bruised from him giving me a similar beating on Tuesday night. It was good to see her. Her friend seems nice enough but the poor guy is going through a rough marriage breakup, so he’s dealing with a whole lot of unpleasant emotions right now.

I was clutching to MasterDoc’s arm while we all talked. I was a bit off to the side so I missed bits of the conversation, which I was kind of thankful for when some sort of evil idea was suggested to MasterDoc and he ultimately decided not to do it to me. (“I don’t know what you were thinking and I don’t think I want to know!”) MasterDoc got out the Gigi vibe and made me spread my legs. Very few people were playing so early in the evening, and we were in a somewhat well lit area. My shyness and nerves impeded progress a little, but ultimately I shut my eyes and let him get me worked up with the vibe. I actually spoke up to let him know that I wanted him to hold it more firmly against my clit. He made me come in front of so many people, telling me I’m a good girl the whole time. It was lovely.

MasterDoc had had me pack a bondage outfit I dreamed up a while ago. I was excited that we were going to finally use it, but alas we didn’t around to it. The idea is for me to be in my waist cincher, the behind the back restraints, gagged, Njoy butt plug up my butt and nipple clamps on my nipples. I’m keeping up hope we’ll use it sometime soon.

I can’t really complain though. I got to see a very sexy Bosnian woman take a sybian ride. It’s fascinating how much I can get aroused and enjoy the sybian ride vicariously. I totally had the hots for this woman, but she’s a submissive to the party organizer, and while very friendly she mostly stayed with her sister subs. I felt bad for her, as her Dom likes lengthy orgasm control – so she got a sybian ride but was not allowed to come for a very long time. I am so lucky that MasterDoc is not into any sort of long term orgasm control.

After her ride, things broke up around us a bit, and MasterDoc checked in on me. While during her ride I was perfectly happy watching, after I started feeling sad that the organizer was lining up more of his women for rides – when we walked into the back room initially the intention had been to give me a ride. MasterDoc acknowledged that this can be hard, and since everyone else was busy elsewhere, he gave me my ride then. Before long I was screaming in orgasm and humping the machine. I flailed around, grabbing onto MasterDoc and the chair he was sitting on. I could feel him laughing a bit as I totally lost control. I buried my face into his chest and thrashed around. It feels so good that I want it to last forever, but it’s also physically taxing so I eventually feel like I can’t take any more.

I lay down on the mat beside the sybian after, and MasterDoc gave me some wonderful aftercare and cuddles. I rested for what seemed like a good long while.

After I got up, another lady came for a sybian ride – this one being one of the sub sisters of the woman I had the hots for. The woman I had the hots for asked if she could hold her sister while on the sybian while MasterDoc ran the sybian from off to the side. He of course agreed to this (one of the things I love about him is that he puts the comfort and pleasure of the women above whatever hankering he may have for having a sexy woman grab on to him). That sybian ride turned into one of the hottest things I have ever seen. The sister starts suckling on sexy woman’s full breasts, and after a bit works her way down to going down on her – while still getting a sybian ride. Fucking hell! I had a ringside seat to tremendous hotness. I craved joining in, but of course not knowing either of the women I didn’t just jump in. I eventually got over my shyness and asked the sexy woman if I she would mind if I played with her tits. She replied, “No, not at all.” Rowr. I tugged on her nipples, sucked the nearest one and did my best to add to the pleasure of this curvy woman.

It was damn hot.

When MasterDoc got asked to give another ride, I realized that with V. there I could go visit with her rather than feeling neglected or bored. I asked permission to go find her and of course it was granted. She was being flogged by her friend when I found her, so I sat nearby and watched until they were finished. (Their play came to a close when nearby a submissive male allegedly touched a Domme’s ass without asking and she went ballistic on him. And as a feminist I think it’s damn wonderful that there are dominant women who will put out of line men in their place. She was firm, she was clear and I bet he would think thrice before doing anything like that again. Permission guys. You need to get permission.)

I hung out with V. for a few minutes and MasterDoc appeared after the sybian ride. It was getting late and while I loved my time being around perverts, it was time to head home. We packed up our stuff and I waited outside with the toys until MasterDoc brought the car around.

I went home a really happy camper. Oh sure I felt disappointment at not having been bound in the behind the back restraints and led around the party. But I had had such a good time that I didn’t want to mention this and make MasterDoc think I was in any way unhappy. We got to bed around 4 a.m. and slept til noon.

Life is good.

Sex Via Powertools

Published on April 4, 2010 in D/s, Uncategorized, bdsm, blow jobs, caning, cunt, edge play, electrosex/tens unit, kink, masochism, masturbation, nipple clamps, orgasm on command, sadism, sex toys, submissive and sybian. 1 Comment

My vacation is off to a nice start.

Friday night we had a couple over – I had met the woman on fetlife and in a funny coincidence she’s my age and her Dom is the same age as MasterDoc. They brought a bunch of toys over and MasterDoc immediately pounced on their cases and had to see what was inside. They had some things we have (medium rubber flogger, clover clamps) and some stuff we didn’t – namely a pussy pump. MasterDoc was excited to try that out.

But first, we chatted. MasterDoc was really “on” that night (at least I think so) and he was chatty and funny. He has a lot of funny stories to tell from his life and for the most part I don’t get tired of hearing them.

Our guests were interested in the sybian, and when given the choice of the flat, small, medium or large attachments, our ladyfriend went for the large. Yikes. Too big for me, and therefore proof that I’m not truly a size queen. I offered to get lube but she said she didn’t need any. Man, I wish I could get that wet and aroused just from hanging out talking about sex toys. I need a little help and actual physical contact usually.

She had her ride, MasterDoc’s back was bothering him so her Dom was the guy she had to fall forward onto (and grab onto – riding the sybian makes you grasp blindly at whatever you can hold onto). However, MasterDoc sat on the sofa beside him and worked the controls. It was hot to watch as always. I think this is why I don’t get porn where the women look like they’re acting – it’s so fucking hot to watch a woman in the throes of passion. Just going, “Ooh, ooh yeah baby” isn’t enough to make me think you’re hot for it. Why would porn like that ever be enjoyable? But when a woman ceases to be aware of her surroundings and just gets lost in the sensations, well it’s a beautiful thing to watch.

She managed to get two rides (she must have more stamina than me), but for her second ride she used the flattop. You see, the large dildo was too much of a good thing and it made her bleed a little. (Hooray for silicone toys that can be properly cleaned and disinfected between partners.) She was cropped and caned during the rides, and for the second one she wore clover clamps. She is made of tougher stuff than I. I was keen to get a ride myself, but first MasterDoc wanted to try out the pump.

He put the nipple cylinders on my nipples and pumped them. It was painful having my nipples sucked hard into the tubes. Next he tried the large cup that goes over the pussy and gave it a few pumps. I didn’t love the feeling but I can see where drawing that much blood into your parts could lead to heightened sensitivity. Thirdly, he tried the clit cylinder and sucked my clit up into it, making it big. (But I scoffed at calling it big since it’s not anywhere near as huge as a transman’s clit.)

Anyway, I got my sybian ride complete with caning and we chatted a while longer. They headed out and it seems that they had a good time. (The Dom emailed us the next day to say so.)

________________________________

Last night was even more fun. With MasterDoc’s back being out, he had brainstormed things he could do to me that required only minor effort on his part. You see, creativity can keep your sex life going despite adversity. Fucking would throw him into severe pain so that was out. Any sort of impact play would require moving and working muscles in such a way that it could worsen his back pain. But he realized that we have a Zeus Electrosex box (available at Extreme Restraints) that my friend Coy Pink won and sent to me since she wasn’t interested in it. (It’s so good to have sex blogger friends!) We hadn’t really used it to this point, but MasterDoc experimented last night.

I was very nervous when he placed the electro pads on either side of my labia. As he upped the intensity on each pattern it would hurt for a moment, and then translate itself into pleasure. There were only one or two patterns out of seven that I really didn’t care for. I felt the shocks in the crooks of my hips. He placed the pads differently, working on getting the shock current running through my clit. On the second try the electricity arced just over my clit and ran through my pubic mound. I placed the pads next time, and this time it worked. It felt like someone was tapping on my clit as he ran current through it.

He toyed with different settings. At one point he had me find a setting I liked and once confirming that I like it he set the box on random. I was enjoying myself one second and then saying, “Hey, it changed!” the next, which gave him a laugh.

I was surprised, although I don’t know why, at how easily my body can translate the pain of the electricity into pleasure. I contemplated my masochism, wondering if it’s getting deeper or if I’ve just simply started to allow myself to feel pleasure with these sensations that non-masochists would tell me aren’t pleasurable. I was leaning towards the latter. I don’t usually think of myself as sexually repressed, but I suppose in this society we all are to some extent. As I continue in a trusting D/s relationship I’m able to explore my darker fantasies and finally admit them not only to myself, but also to MasterDoc. When you have dark fantasies you need to be careful who you tell them to as they very often contain some risk – physical and/or emotional.

The level of electric shock that went into my body from this toy was just the right amount to get me aroused and lost in the sensation. MasterDoc got a little frustrated with me because he was looking for feedback since it’s a new toy, and at times I wasn’t able to express myself. It felt good enough that he could command me to come and I came from the sensation of the electricity running through my clit. I came two or three times this way. It’s hard to describe the sensation, it feels like your nerves are being stimulated directly under the skin rather than stimulated by sensations on your skin like most toys. Some of the electrical patterns were buzzy like vibrators, but again, it felt like it was vibrating inside my pubis rather than outside of it.

For the first time, I felt like my submission was realized in my orgasms. He kept the machine going and I just kept coming over and over and over again. I couldn’t stop. I was totally at his mercy. I had lost all control of myself to him and the toy. During one orgasm I had to beg him to stop because I couldn’t breathe.

And so, with very little movement and physical effort on his part, MasterDoc got me off and made me extremely happy. He had me suck his cock for a while after and I was enjoying it so much I pushed my endurance farther than usual. I love when his fingers entwine in my hair as I’m going down on him. Even if he doesn’t thrust his cock deep inside my throat the potential gets me hot.

After my mouth was fairly exhausted, he had me move up for a cuddle. He stroked his cock as I stroked his chest, and I found myself getting hornier and hornier because he was getting hornier and hornier. I pressed my naked body up against his and breathed shallowly against him, nuzzling his cheek. I reached down and massaged his groin until my hand was about ready to fall off. I didn’t mind really because it was so hot making him feel good.

When he was ready to come I watched his cock intently, wondering if I should just shove it in my mouth like I wanted to or if I should wait to find what he wanted me to do. I hesitated a bit, but probably indicated with my body language what I wanted to do. He told me to put it in my mouth as he came. I sucked his cock into my mouth – a little too hard and so backed off right away with the suction. His slick, come covered cock filled my mouth. I held the come in my mouth and he had me dribble it out onto the throe.

Very hot indeed.

_________________________

As I came up with the title for this post, I was reminded of MasterDoc’s recent comment. He says that there’s like an “arms race” between Doms these days – they keep buying bigger, fancier or more expensive toys and then show them off at parties.

Kinky Weekend

Published on March 21, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, anxiety, bdsm, blogs, caning, exhibitionism, kink, masochism, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, sex parties, sex toys and sybian. 0 Comments

So after a week of intense work and being busy nearly every night, I was thrilled to be going out with MasterDoc and DeeDee to a bdsm party on Friday night. When I got to MasterDoc’s after work, DeeDee was with a guy who’s come by for a few shows. They have clicked well and so above and beyond the shows they have fooled around. DeeDee had orgasm after orgasm as I relaxed in the next room with MasterDoc. I felt a little jealous, not having had an orgasm in days, however it was also really fun to hear her moaning over and over. The four of us ate dinner together, and DeeDee decided she was too worn out from all the sex to go out with us. I of course never object to a night out alone with MasterDoc.

The party was held in a New York City loft and they had a fair amount of bdsm equipment around. There was a suspension frame, a couple of different types of spanking benches, a cross against a wall, and the two techie toys – a fucking machine and MasterDoc’s sybian.

We arrived early since we were bringing the sybian, and it was super quiet early on. We relaxed, talked to some people and MasterDoc made it clear I was going to try the fucking machine. I was nervous about it and tried to have it put off as much as possible.

To get me in the mood (as I indicated I would surely need to be warmed up before being pounded by a machine) MasterDoc had me lean over a bench and he caned me. My pain tolerance was pretty good and he went at it for a while, alternating with hands, the riding crop and small flogger. He pressed my nea vibe to my clit and teased me, and unfortunately since the angle was odd he teased me even more than intended – he wasn’t quite on the right spot. So while it felt good and I was getting hornier and hornier, there was no way I would come from it. He told me I could come if I wanted to, whenever I wanted to, but I just couldn’t get there.

We took a break, during which we met a nice, young Asian-American woman who is new to bdsm but embracing it wholeheartedly. She’s subbing to the party organizer and he told her she was definitely getting a sybian ride. I got to sit right next to MasterDoc as he gave her the ride and as always it’s so hot to watch a woman in the throes of passion.

Towards the end of the ride, MasterDoc got a phone call, which he picked up while continuing the ride, much to everyone’s amusement. It was DeeDee, asking if she could come again. (!) Apparently the million orgasms she had had weren’t enough. He gave her permission to masturbate and then finished the young lady’s ride. He called DeeDee to check in on her after the ride and I started feeling impatient. I hadn’t had an orgasm in days, hadn’t had cock in nearly a week, and she had just had an amazing amount of orgasms. I love DeeDee, I consider her a good friend but at that moment all I could think was, (cue urban accent) “Bitch please! You’re taking up time when I could be having orgasms. You had plenty!” In retrospect, it’s kinda funny. After all, she had no way of knowing what we had or hadn’t done that evening. I wasn’t truly mad, but the timing was just lousy.

MasterDoc remedied the situation quickly by putting me on the sybian next. Very soon, I was begging for orgasm and he teased me for a while, getting me to climb even higher to the peak. I came hard and for a long time – I kept crying out “oh fuck, fuck, fuck” or “oh god, oh god, yes!” alternately. When I peeked around me during the orgasm, I was disappointed that there wasn’t a nice crowd around. People were pretty much busy elsewhere. But still, it remedied my lack of orgasm quite nicely. Unfortunately I ended up a little sore from grinding my clit into the nubby pad on the sybian. I think I need to turn the insertable part around so the smooth side is under my clit. I irritate my delicate inner labia in the heat of passion, which sucks.

So now that I was warmed up, MasterDoc wanted me to try the fucking machine. I was nervous. The lady who he had given the sybian ride to had just tried the fucking machine and her main reflection was that it was “big.” She had come though, so hard that her clenching vaginal muscles stopped the machine. The penis-like attachment looked a bit big for having pound me via machine, so I went with the smaller attachment, but this was less than ideal too. It was tapered at the end, which is useless for getting any g-spot stimulation and it was very flexible at the end, so when the machine was turned on it tended to pull out and not go right back in. We never really got the machine up to speed and I was clearly unhappy. Thankfully MasterDoc let me end things there. Another issue was that there wasn’t a bed, so the ideal position wasn’t possible. I knelt on the couch at an angle, uncomfortably.

And so my first fucking machine experience was a bust. I had been so anxious that it might miss the hole going back in and pound into my crotch. I have suspicions that often these types of machines are a turn on more for men than women.

The rest of the evening was relatively uneventful. There were moments when we saw some really hot scenes, and MasterDoc gave more sybian rides. Mostly the couples were male Dom and female sub, but there was a smoking hot fem Dom there who worked over the single submissive men. One of the nice parts of these parties (this is the second one I’ve been to organized by this host and MasterDoc and DeeDee went with our friend V. to one in between) is that they’re run by a black guy, and so there’s a big mix of ethnicities. So often I’ve only encountered white people out at bdsm events. I think until recently I subconsciously thought bdsm was really more of a white person thing (not to mention that until recently I hadn’t encountered the queer bdsm community either), but I’m happy to find that there are perverts in all demographics, and it’s wonderful that this party is truly inclusive of everyone.

There were stretches of boredom, but also some hot scenes like the big, strong, bald white guy who has a black submissive. He flogged her hard and I cringed a bit, even though I often like quite the same thing. However he pointed out that she likes it and proved this to me by barely touching her pussy through her panties and letting her come. Clearly, she enjoys kink as much as I do.

A guy with a nice body got flogged by the fem Dom and that was hot to watch. I pointed out to MasterDoc that male Doms have it easy – fem Doms have to flog in six-inch platform heels. (At least, if they’re going along with the male dominated view of what a female Dom should look like.) A few of the sub men purposely sissified themselves, and I have to admit that’s not really my thing. I prefer my men to be more manly but to each his own.

Saturday evening, MasterDoc, DeeDee and I went to the Kink Academy open house in Manhattan. Diva had convinced me to come so I could speak about the site since I think highly of it. I had just gotten to meet the “headmistress” Princess Kali the other night and I quite like her too. Having a circle of pervy friends and acquaintances is such a wonderful thing. They’re people I can be myself around.

The open house was lots of fun. There were demonstrations, contests – I participated (actually, I was first to volunteer) in a contest of putting condoms on bananas with our mouths. We all did well and got prizes. I had recently watched something with Midori teaching how to put a condom on with your mouth, so between that and Tess giving her lesson, I was ready. I also managed to win a hogtie (a metal ring with four leather straps coming off with clips at the ends – it’s used to clip together wrist and ankle cuffs into a hogtie position) and a complete set of Kink Academy’s scene starter cards. Whoo hoo! AND a one year free membership. Winning anything is uncommon for me, and to make out like a bandit yesterday I felt even happier that I went and spoke well of Kink Academy.

I got to meet various people who had heard of me, and it’s always nice when people compliment me on the blog. It really means a lot to be told that my openness about sexuality is having a positive effect. While I often think of this blog as mainly a space for me to record my adventures and express myself, I do partly do it as a means of sex-positive activism. To be recognized for it – even if it’s just a pat on the back – feels wonderful.

Pegging My Dom

Published on January 11, 2010 in D/s, DeeDee, Uncategorized, anal, blow jobs, kink, sex toys, spanking, submissive, sybian and threesome. 1 Comment

Over the weekend, I saw a bit of DeeDee and MasterDoc while DeeDee was visiting for a week. I arrived when they were just starting a show; MasterDoc had sent me a text telling me to be in sub mode when I walked in. Their guest was a guy writing book with chapter on BDSM, looking to research it for the book. From what I heard he had some erroneous ideas about BDSM. Hopefully he will listen to what he learned from DeeDee and MasterDoc and write something at least somewhat accurate. (I’m not holding my breath.) I hid myself in the bedroom while they did their show, and it was incredibly hot to listen to the spanking from there. The pitch rose until DeeDee was begging to come. Rowr. I got called in, and found DeeDee on the sybian. MasterDoc wanted me to help paddle her while she came. I gleefully obliged. He said I wasn’t hitting her hard enough but her butt was definitely more rosy after I paddled her. She recovered on floor after, and while he tended to her, MasterDoc had me lead the guest out. When their guest mentioned needing a place to sit to put on his shoes, I p0inted out that there’s chairs in the dining room. Dickwad looked at me, said, “Yes I saw that.” So much for trying to be gracious and helpful. I wasn’t just being a sub, I was trying to be a decent hostess. Snide comments are not appreciated. Jerk.

During the visit DeeDee did a lot of the fetching but I got asked to chip in with some cleaning. I was happy to have some help , but when DeeDee would do something like get me a drink, I felt weird being at all waited on. I’m not used to that. My mother used to tell me I’m spoiled, but it dawned on me that night that I got used to caring for myself at a fairly young age. MasterDoc pointed out that I let Davey do stuff for me, but I pointed out that initially he had to convince me he wanted to do that. I would do stuff myself and he’d get frustrated because he likes feeling needed.

The plan for the evening was for me to use a strap on on MasterDoc. Yes. You read that right. It’s rare that he lets a woman peg him, and he only ever lets submissives do it – while another lady blows or plays with him. These criteria need to be met before he will do it. He’s talked for a while now about letting me do it, since we’ve developed an adequate level of trust. (The last time was years ago with his submissive at the time.) It’s funny, because usually he’s totally comfortable with liking anal stimulation as a straight guy. He’s really sex positive and not the least bit homophobic usually. But when a strap on enters the picture, he gets a little funny. He has to have another woman sucking him off at the same time so it’s “not gay.” He admits it’s absurd, but he’s to some extent a product of his generation.

We were setting up in the living room, and chatting, trying to ease into the scene. Somehow in the course of conversation I came out with, “In my time we had to walk down to the store to buy porn! We didn’t have the internet!” as an “In my day we had to walk a mile, uphill, both ways to get to school,” sort of thing. We laughed and talked about coming up with more. I thought for a bit and came up with, “In my time we had to use Crisco because there wasn’t lube at the corner store!” Hopefully I will manage to come up with a few more. (Can you think of any?)

I got down to business working MasterDoc’s ass over – massaging, lubing – while DeeDee sucked his cock. I gradually worked a finger in at his request and after trying to loosen things up gently with my finger I gradually worked a butt plug in. After some play with the plug, MasterDoc decided he was ready and he got on hands and knees as it seemed the best position. I had my harness on with my red glitter, silicone dildo, a slim one I specifically bought a few years back to peg boys with. MasterDoc kept telling me to add more lube, and my hands were so slippery I could barely handle the lube bottle! Getting lube into his ass was tricky. We need to get one of those applicators that let you apply lube inside the anus. Lubed as much as I could get him, I tried to get the dildo in. DeeDee was playing with his cock in the meantime. I’m not sure how much of the dildo got in there, probably very little. MasterDoc had me stop for a minute because it hurt, and by then my knees had given out from kneeling on the floor. We had to stop for the night. So it wasn’t entirely successful, but we gave it a shot. I’m sure we’ll try it again sometime.

As I was quite horny at the tail end of the week, and hadn’t had sex in a few days, MasterDoc offered me a horsey (sybian) ride. I had a hard time getting into mood though. Sometimes I can pop on top of the dildo and get warmed up as we go, but I needed foreplay before sticking anything in me that night. MasterDoc worked on it, sucking my nipple and such. As DeeDee walked by to go to the kitchen, he got her to come in and suck on my other tit, and I played with my bullet vibe on my clit. Turned on enough that I might come if we went further, he put me on the sybian. MasterDoc had DeeDee paddle my ass like I had done to her. She did it too light, unfortunately. I managed to come even though it was hard to get myself in quite the right headspace that night. All in all, everyone got some attention that day. I slept in the spare bedroom since it was DeeDee’s weekend with him, and to be quite honest sometimes I’m thrilled to sleep alone. I sleep so much better without a snoring guy beside me. It can be nice to have someone next to you, but I treasure those nights alone too.

I made a concerted effort to not take too much time from DeeDee while I hung out with them. Not sure how I did, but at one point I was hit with an attention craving, and I reasoned it out rather than asking for attention. Would I fall into a depression or anything serious without the attention? No. Could I “suck it up buttercup” and take care of myself that night? Yes. And so I did since I didn’t want to infringe on DeeDee’s time too much. I think I was more comfortable than I usually am. I think I’ve grown a bit more secure lately. Of course, in a depressed mood that could disappear into the ether, but for now I’m feeling good.

Day of Debauchery

Published on December 19, 2009 in D/s, Uncategorized, anal, analingus, bdsm, bisexuality, blow jobs, bondage, caning, exhibitionism, humiliation play, kink, masochism, masturbation, orgasm denial, orgasm on command, restraints, sadism, sex, sex toys, show, spanking, submissive, sybian and threesome. 0 Comments

Friday was quite a full day of pervyness with MasterDoc. Early in the afternoon, he had a lady who’s a switch come over with the intention of her helping top me. But somehow he found out that she also has a swing profile and he proceeded to look up the profile and read it out loud to her. He teased her mercilessly as it’s quite a slutty profile. (Yeah, like either of us have an issue with sluts. They’re our favorite people!) She turned red and we all laughed so hard. When he got to the point about how she can come from just neck/ear nibbling or nipple stimulation he said, “Oh yeah?” and proceeded to play with her neck. The laughing stopped around then, and she was immediately in a horny reverie, head tipping back, mouth open. He took out one breast and I took out the other, and the two of us made her come from just sucking on her nipples. It was loads of fun. He teased her sadistically some more, and somehow none of us ever ended up naked. But we had the best time laughing and teasing. I’m hoping we get to see her again soon. (And while I was perfectly happy with how the visit turned out, I do look forward to being topped by two people at once someday!)

Later in the afternoon, an Irish guy who had watched a show before came over to see us again. MasterDoc put me over the Liberator scoop, used the wrist and thigh cuffs to attach me to the scoop, and spanked my ass. It felt more sting-y than usual yesterday and the canes smarted something awful. He alternated with the riding crop as well which was easier to handle. His wooden paddle was almost unbearable. He helped me deal with the pain by putting the magic wand up against my cunt while he spanked me some more. I did my best to grind my clit against the wand, but it was always just slightly off to the side of the ideal spot. But I got so hot, and so far into subspace, from that beating/teasing combo. He let me lay over the scoop for a few minutes after so I could come down a bit.

He took off the wrist cuffs and I felt floaty when I got up. I knelt before him, he was seated on the couch, and sucked MasterDoc’s cock. He did a little face fucking again, which produced lots of drool. It’s not easy being gagged like that but I do think it’s terribly hot. The river of drool that comes out as my mouth is pulled off is really sexy in a nasty sort of way. Earlier, he had told me I’m a dirty slut and made me admit that I wanted to be used in front of our guest. The low growl to his voice as he makes me look him in the eye and say these things get me so hot. I feel embarrassed but oh so turned on.

He had me warm up on the floor mat with the magic wand. I couldn’t look our guest in the eye too often but I did get myself very close to orgasm quickly. MasterDoc fucked me from behind for a bit and the feel of his cock inside me while I pressed the magic wand to my clit would have easily been enough to send me (way) over the edge. But I wasn’t given permission to come just yet. I had to pull the wand away from my clit a bit to ensure I didn’t come accidentally. But it felt so good and I wanted to come so badly.

Our guest had told MasterDoc beforehand that he wanted to see me fucked up the ass, and so MasterDoc pulled his cock out and lubed up my ass and my slender, red glitter dildo. He slid the dildo into my ass to warm me up and it felt great as he fucked me with it. I think I’m still a little surprised at how aroused I can get from anal stimulation. This didn’t last long, and MasterDoc put his hard cock against my hole. For a moment it felt like it wasn’t going to go in, but then it pushed past my sphincter. Holy shit did it feel good to feel his large cock in my ass. He fucked me hard while our guest watched and I moaned like a bitch in heat. MasterDoc talked dirty to me, telling me I’m a good little three hole slut and other equally hot, nasty things. He knows that telling me I’m a slut, whore, fucktoy, etc. will get me off even harder.

When he told me to come, I came so very hard. I screamed, my head slid forward off the mat. He kept fucking my ass and I must have gotten absolutely flooded with wetness. He took his cock out and fingered me a bit, making me come more. I had to lay down to rest for a while after. I was in a wonderful state of subspace.

He topped off the show with a sybian ride, but first I had to earn it by licking his ass. He had me rub his ass a bit and as I looked at it I was filled with dread. I know analingus doesn’t bother some people but it’s not one of my favorite things. I did as I was told, however, and humiliatingly ate out his ass while our guest watched. Quite a bit of humiliation play let me tell you.

On the sybian, he teased me for a bit and then I came shrieking and screaming, burying my head into his chest. I think he and our guest were quite amused at watching me lose all control like that. He had our guest spank me while I rode the sybian and I loved being spanked during it. The whole experience was exceptional. If every time could be so intense, nasty and hot, I would just live in perpetual heaven. (Not that I don’t already come close, mind you.)

Later that night our friend came over and I got to use my strap on harness on her. But you will have to go to the review to get an account of that.

Oh and a little tidbit – the needles MasterDoc ordered for needleplay came in!

Play Piercing

Published on December 9, 2009 in Uncategorized, bdsm, edge play, kink, masochism, needle play and sybian. 5 Comments

Last night I got to be play pierced for the first time.* MasterDoc made the acquaintance of a young kinkster who’s into piercing. We met up with her last week just to say hello and then last night she came over to MasterDoc’s place to pierce me. I was so excited!

Before

Here’s my back before the piercing. The only marks there are light red stripes from the pressure of my bra.

The artist at work

Here’s the artist at work. Note the latex gloves. All safety precautions were followed. Please, if you’re going to play around with needles, learn the safety precautions first. An infection after the fact is not fun. My back was thoroughly spritzed with alcohol and it was allowed to try thoroughly – twice.

Needles in place

Here’s all the needles in place. MasterDoc did a few. He of course has needle experience from being a doctor, but doing it for fun was new to him. Two gauges of needles were used – 26g and 22g. With gauge, the higher the number the thinner the needle. Back when I had my nostril done it was pierced with an 18g. They would each warn me before sliding the needles into my flesh. I’d take a deep breath and sometimes let out a yelp when it hurt. Different needles felt different – the upper back was much easier than the lower back. MasterDoc mentioned that there’s fewer nerve endings up there. Some needles barely felt like anything, some stung for a while after the piercing. But like getting my nose pierced, it doesn’t hurt nearly as bad as the needle phobic would think it does. It’s a very brief pain. Endorphins started to flow and I tried to just lay there and enjoy the ride.

Pretty corset piercing

And then our new pal laced ribbon around the needles to create a pretty corset pattern. MasterDoc took the photos and I lay there for a while after enjoying the sensation. Only 12 needles were used and I’d like to try more next time. I think with more I’d experience more of an endorphin rush. The piercer enjoyed looking at her handiwork while I relaxed.

They took the needles out after a while – I’m not sure how long as I lost track of time. But the entire thing took less than an hour. I could feel the needles drag through my flesh as they were pulled out. But again, it only hurt momentarily. One or two bled slightly, but there was only a negligible amount of blood.

When I sat up, I felt woozy. It was definitely a “high” sort of feeling. I sat and had some water before we moved onto the next activity – MasterDoc gave me a sybian ride. You’ve all read stories about the sybian, this time was no different. I came hard and was lost in lalaland during the ride. I had to lay down after, and wow was that an intense evening! I could have used cuddles after but somehow they got lost in the shuffle. Being held after an experience like that would have been so wonderful. I slept well last night and my back feels totally normal today. (Note: In all fairness, MasterDoc threw his back out fixing the bed I was going to sleep in that night. He wasn’t up for cuddling because he was in pain.)

*At Floating World I had an experience with piercing, but not quite what I wanted.