Archive for the 'wax play' Category

Friday

We had quite a busy evening Friday night. MasterDoc booked a couple to come over for show before we were to head out to a party. I’m not used to doing shows in front of couples, or women. Both parties in the couple are Dom inclined. They were nice people and nice looking people. We got to chat a bit and then got on with the show.

MasterDoc had me take my pants off and spread my legs in the recliner. On some levels I have no trouble being bottomless in front of other like-minded individuals. But spreading my legs and being the only slut in a state of obvious arousal can be humiliating. But as we know, a little humiliation is hot to me.  MasterDoc used the Acuvibe on me. I closed my eyes as it was easy to deal with the  little embarrassment that way. It also helped me to focus on feeling good. He had me hold the vibe to my clit, and he came over with a flogger to my thighs. My pain tolerance is a strange thing, fairly tied to my level of arousal. While sometimes I yell out because something he does hurts, other times it makes me so totally hot. Friday night was the latter.

Warmed up a little, he had me lay over the Liberstor Scoop (rounded side). He used his hands on me (which can sometimes be more vicious than an implement. The man has large hands.) and the flogger, maybe the cane too? I was totally into the sensation of being beaten that night.  He reached between my legs and ran the vibe over my cunt. Then, he grabbed a candle and lit it, but the surprise factor was ruined when someone in the couple piped up, “Hot wax!” He dripped it over my ass and thighs. I’m glad he’s gotten into wax play again lately. I had missed it. He had me turn over and he ordered me to sit with legs spread. I instinctively put my hands behind my head. He tortured me with hot wax on my thighs, even pushing my thighs open wider with his foot to reach that ultra-sensitive spot. MasterDoc used the Acuvibe on me to make me come. Some embarrassment led me to not come quite as hard as I usually do, but mental focus helped me psych myself up into coming as hard as was possible. I squirted a little bit and certainly did come. (I make a point of not faking orgasms. However, I will psych myself up more into something if my physical responses aren’t up to par on a given day.)  I think a lesser orgasm for me is probably still much more intense than a regular orgasm for some women.

After working me over for a bit (time was limited), MasterDoc gave the woman in the couple a sybian ride. She’s quite cute, and fond of dominating women, so I hope we will see her (and her gentleman) again.

The sybian saw a lot of action Friday night.

We went to a new play party – or new to us anyway. The host of the party had friended us on Fetlife. Play parties always being an expense to consider, MasterDoc had me write to the host and offer to bring his sybian in exchange for the two of us being comped. (Please, don’t assume a doctor makes an obscene amount of money, it’s not always true.) And luckily that was perfectly cool with the host.

When we arrived at the party, we set the sybian up. I got to chat with a really nice young queer guy who was dying of curiosity to try the sybian. MasterDoc assured him that he had tried it himself (despite being terminally straight, he loves anal stimulation) but I think the guy doubted MasterDoc’s hetero point of view. The party had a nice variety of people there. The host is black, and the proportion of black people there was much higher than most kink events I’ve been to. In general, most people were pretty nice and friendly. It was a great atmosphere. The only bit of diversity that seemed missing were obvious lesbians. Most women seemed to be bi, but unlike the clearly queer guys there didn’t seem to be any clearly queer women.

I got a second chance to try the violet wand. I like it and wish we could afford one (those things are expensive!) But it was a pretty casual thing while we were standing around and the owner of the wand happened to plug it in near us and start using it on (willing) people.

The space had three rooms and a common area, we never made it into the dance room. I prefer being able to talk to the people around me, unless I’ve specifically gone out to dance. In the quietest room, a fem Dom who had been talking to us earlier came in and reached out to caress both me and MasterDoc as we sat side by side on a table. She had some toys that we haven’t used: a braided flogger and a dragon’s tail. To quote John Mellencamp, it “hurts so good.”  As I stood with my pants down and head on the table, MasterDoc came up next to me and talked me through breathing slowly and controlling my breathing to control my response to the pain. It hurt, but with appropriate breathing I could manage. MasterDoc took a turn with the braided flogger – owie. It requires a different technique than he’s used to with a regular flogger so it hurt more when he did it. He used the magic wand on me as our new friend flogged me.

My ass was nice and red and sore after. The room we were in had mirrors so I got a good look. Next came the sybian ride. As usual, I was the first one at the party since other women were tentative about trying this machine out. I had my usual screaming orgasm – it went something like this: “Oh god, oh god, oh fuck, oh fuck, *scream* oh fuck, fuck, fuck, oh yes, oh god.” (Lather, rinse, repeat.) It felt like the orgasms were wrenched out of me. (I wonder if my uncoordinated grasping at MasterDoc during this is what led to the loss my new bracelet. I really have no idea when during the night I lost it.) After, a guy who had witnessed it told me, “Please, don’t hold back. You should let us know how you feel!” I was fucking loud.

Besides me, and the lady earlier in the evening, six ladies  enjoyed a ride on the sybian. The first lady, begged for a second ride and MasterDoc gave it to her. She would have gone for round three if she was permitted. She convinced her sister sub to take a ride, and she (a lovely, tall, curvy, African-American lady with glasses and pigtails) looked like a woman possessed as she came. Their Dom handcuffed the first lady for her ride (I think that’s hot!). Every woman was a satisfied customer. One told her boyfriend “fuck you” as she came uncontrollably on the sybian. Funny thing is she’s the one lady to find MasterDoc on fetlife and thank him for the ride. One guy worried about how he’d measure up to the machine, but I assured him that despite my love for the sybian, I still want MasterDoc’s cock on a regular basis.

The only drawbacks to the party was that there was no where to fuck (it was a space rented from a theatre company), the music was really loud, the space quite crowded and you couldn’t bring beverages into the rooms where you played. But it was one hell of a fun night!

On the way home, I was desperate for a pee. As we walked through the cold to his building, MasterDoc teased me a little. We got inside, and he went to the elevator – and merely rested his hand by the button! Argh! Then as we waited for the elevator he came up behind me, reached around and pressed my tummy by the bladder. Evil, evil man! In the apartment, he stood between me and the path to the bathroom. He is truly a sadist! It was a relief when I could finally go.

Stress Relief

Work has been stressful lately, which sounds ridiculous since it’s a public library and not a highly competitive corporation. But mismanagement will create stress no matter where it occurs.

Thankfully, I have MasterDoc to torment me and make me forget about my stresses.

On Monday he blindfolded me. Just prior to this, he had me gather my collar, the Acuvibe mini, condoms and lube. He gathered the candle for waxing, nipple clamps and clothespins.

Unfortunately my good Liberator blindfold was missing (found it later though), but I behaved and kept my eyes closed beneath the so-so blindfold we did have handy.  So when he started dripping hot wax on my tummy, it came as quite a shock. I could tell that it was just a little ways off from my scar from the laparascopy in October since that’s a little more sensitive than it used to be. He dripped wax on my thighs and it felt like he was holding the candle quite near – which those of you in the know realize makes the wax hotter when it hits your skin, rather than giving it a second to cool slightly. I’d cry out, flinch but try to regain control of myself as soon as possible.

He had me turn over onto all fours, and dripped some wax on my back, all along the length of it. I felt him sit on the bed next to me, and he grasped my nipples roughly between thumb and forefinger. He put clothespins on my nipples and they pinched something awful. He flicked my nipples repeatedly. And this pain made me feel like my cunt was on fire. It hurt but it turned me on like crazy. He poured more wax on my back and took the vibrator to my clit. I humped the Acuvibe as best I could, moaning.

He had me turn over, clothespins still on. He flicked my nipples some more, poured more wax on me. He removed the clothespins and gave me the Acuvibe to use on myself. I reached down and spread the wetness seeping from my hole all over my pussy and used the vibe on my now lubricated clit. He sadistically poured hot wax on my sensitive nipples. The vibe was running down a bit but I kept rubbing it against my clit, slowly approaching orgasm. I heard him gather more stuff from our dresser filled with toys. He lubed me up with the tingling lube and I felt a hard, cold dildo pressing against my cunt. I couldn’t tell if it was a glass dildo – something I assumed it was until I later found out that it was my acrylic dildo. He slowly fucked me with it, working me up. Then came faster fucking and even faster fucking. He told me to come and I came hard, long, and over and over. I sound like I’m straining when I come these days. I tense up my neck and shoulders a lot and lift my head off the pillow. He forced me to come over and over, despite not being able to breathe, until I was totally satiated.

After this, all the stress had drained away from me. I was at peace. Being under his control is better than medication. He plays my body like a virtuoso plays the violin. I get to see him this weekend and I can’t wait!

Hot Submission

I’ve been feeling the need lately, more than ever, to feel submissive. It’s funny, because if you’re not submissive you may wonder why anyone would want to feel controlled, beneath another, objectified. But for me, it’s not only incredibly hot, it also soothes me. In the midst of all that’s been going on in my life, submitting to MasterDoc allows me to relax and not stress.

It’s not always easy to submit. Last night MasterDoc talked to me about how I can be possessive of my time with him. If faced with giving up or sharing some of my time with him, I should view it in terms of submission and pleasing him. This is incredibly hard because I want to be with him as much as possible. I crave being with him, I crave his attention. While there are moments when I’m very much in the headspace of submission where I enjoy just being there while he attends to someone or something else, (tonight was one of those nights) most of the time I find that really difficult to do. Even moreso when I can’t at least be with him in the same place.

It’s interesting, because although putting my wants aside so that his happiness is fulfilled is a challenge, (especially being genuinely happy about doing it myself)  I crave that challenge. I’m happy when I’m struggling with myself to make him happy. It’s kinda convoluted I will admit. What can I say? I’m a submissive. Some days it’s more fulfilling than others. Other days I just want to be the center of attention.

Last night, we watched part of a very hot porn video – in it a submissive woman had to serve at a party. The guests could comment on her naked body and they were free to grope her as they wished. She was the only person in the room without clothes on. Her wrists were secured behind her back and she wore high heels. In the beginning she has a tray slung on a belt around her waist with two chains leading to her collar. She had to navigate the living room full of guests balancing full champagne flutes on the tray. Let me remind you, her hands are secured behind her back throughout this.

She did spill a couple of glasses and was scolded for it. One spilled on an ottoman in the middle of the room and she was ordered to clean it up with her tongue. After she did that, she was brought around the circle of people again to be groped, probed, examined and handled. God, the humiliation was hot.

I was so fucking hot and wet watching this. MasterDoc needed to divert his attention to helping one of the other ladies in his life through a crisis, and being horny yet feeling very, very submissive, I enjoyed playing with myself until he was ready to touch me, and I could go back to that if he needed to pull his attention away again. He had me stop touching myself at one point, and I really was content to lay on the bed next to him patiently. I was genuinely happy to be doing that.

I suppose short-term patience like that is easy. But feeling like I’m giving up time, giving up getting my needs met when I feel like I want them to be met is hard. The idea of taking something like a weekend away at Floating World with MasterDoc, and then deriving pleasure from him having a good time, even if I don’t get to enjoy the things I’d like to because I’m sharing him, is hard. I should trust more, I suppose, that he will make sure I’m taken care of at some point. But that’s hard when it looks like things aren’t going how you hoped. (Especially when you’ve paid your way for the weekend.)

Tonight, I was really turned on by the submission. Actually turned on by being his servant, waiting for him patiently. It made me fucking horny. He drizzled some hot wax on me and I was really turned on by the fact that he could inflict pain on me – the control of it. He fucked me after, and I was so aroused the entire time. I suppose I should add that he placed the laptop on my back and continued his online conversation while he fucked me – and this drove me crazy. He made me come and squirt like Old Faithful.

That was the only round planned, but as I started this post I looked up the porn and started watching it again. MasterDoc decided that we could go another round, and he fucked me from behind again. This time, somehow, my vaginal muscles didn’t push him out. I worked hard at keeping things that way while also coming insanely hard. My hand dropped beside the bed, flailing limply as I came, head pressed into the bed and my knees kept spreading wider as I’m pounded down into the bed. I went completely incoherent – moans, whines, grunts, gasps were the only noises I could make. I was catapulted into another world. The only thing I was only able to do was come for as long as he wanted me to. He kept fucking me and I kept coming. I started to wonder if I could handle any more. My muscles pushed him out, and he kept touching my pussy, slapping it, stroking my legs, grabbing my hair. And I responded by continuing to come and squirt. When I later picked up the towel beneath me (placed there for the wax play) it was heavy from all the wetness I had squirted. The throe underneath was very wet too. MasterDoc said that he impresses even himself. I’m impressed too. I was utterly under his control being made to come like that.

Three Thumbs Up!

I feel very fortunate to have so many wild, fun sexual experiences. I really am very lucky. While I was a total pervert before I met MasterDoc, he has led me further down the path of debauchery and I love him for it. Last night we had some guests – a Dom, his slave #1(who lives in NY), his slave #2 (a Canadian down for a visit) and a woman who is potentially going to be his, so right now she’s a submissive under consideration I guess. (Edited 12/10 to get the hierarchy correct.) Liz was visiting and MasterDoc got her to cook dinner – a spectacular feast as always (complete with made-from-scratch apple pie!) We got settled with our guests and enjoyed some wine with dinner. Now, as a submissive I call MasterDoc “Sir” and not “Master” since our relationship is not that of Master and slave. I don’t think I have it in me to be someone’s slave. I’m too spoiled, cantankerous, and selfish to commit to being a slave. I’m really very happy with the situation I have with MasterDoc. He knows how to work with my difficult aspects, but I digress. It was different to be around submissives who refer to their Dom as Master. Not bad, just different. I can see where I’m much more autonomous than they are. I don’t have to call MasterDoc Sir when I don’t have my collar on (unless he’s just given me a direct order, then it’s appropriate) and things are on a closer-to-equal footing when I’m not in my collar. (They’re never truly equal, but then that’s part of the attraction of a Dom/sub relationship. I want him to be in charge, even when I’m feeling stubborn.) I think I’ve found a D/s relationship that works well for me, and I very much respect the other types of D/s relationships there are out there. It’s fascinating to discover that each one is so different. You’d think there’s one way to be a Dom but there really isn’t. There’s as many D/s relationship structures as there are people who practice power exchange.

The slaves and sub were all good about doing things like dishing out food at dinner and what not. As hostess I really should have been better, but I’m a crap hostess. lol I did set the table, and take their coats and stuff like that. I tried to be on my best behavior. I missed a few things like putting out napkins on the table, but I remedied it as quickly as possible when it was noticed. I was feeling really shy last night. Not shy sexually, after all, when am I shy sexually? But quiet, not talkative. Luckily the other ladies were friendly and engaged me in conversation. The Canadian one really caught my eye – curvy with a nose ring and color streaked hair – definitely my type. The other two were hot as well but some people are just more your type than others. The Dom is a handsome man, in his 40s, and his ladies seemed quite devoted to him. All in all, everyone was nice and I really enjoyed the time we spent with them.

After dinner, we hung out in the living room. Dynamics-wise it was interesting as the other ladies sat on the floor (out of choice, I believe) and I sat on the sofa with the two men. I’m not sure exactly how we got things started, but MasterDoc asked to borrow some wax to do some wax play on me. I spread out on the reclining chair and he dripped wax all over me. It hurt, but in a wonderful, sensational way. The first candle he chose was white, so the wax didn’t show up in the dim light, but he switched to a red candle at the other Dom’s urging. I braced myself since darker candles are supposed to burn hotter. I don’t know that there was a significant difference, but he sadistically dripped wax in the delicate area next to my mons.

He sent me to clean up, and I’m foggy on what exactly happened next. There was some spanking at one point. There were clothespins put on the nipples of one of the ladies. The Canadian knelt in front of her Master and he lulled her into the submissive headspace. I was told to come over to her and play with her tits. I felt shy but slowly made my way over. He directed the action every step of the way. I was to suck on one tit, then the other. He had her and me lean in close to each other, not kissing just yet but leaning in close, cheek to cheek. He told us both to smell each other and we stroked our cheeks against each other and sniffed slowly. He told us to start kissing, but not on the mouth, on the cheek, the neck, any place else. She really dove in and started to work on my neck. I’ve got a bit of a hickey today from it. I was in such a happy place. He slowly moved us towards kissing on the lips, and she dove in before he gave permission. I was so hot for her at this point, the slowness was agony (and I’m sure he knew it!) He got her to back off, but then gave us permission and our tongues met and she sucked on my lips sensually. She’s a very good kisser. Our hands reached out to each other’s bodies and we caressed and played, she sucked on my tits for a bit then dove in to my pussy. I sit back, leaning against the couch, and closed my eyes as she worked magic on my clit. She was instructed to get her ass in the air, near the couch so MasterDoc could spank her. I reached under her stomach and found her clit and massaged it with my fingers. It was so damn hot watching MasterDoc spank her while she went down on me. I hardly noticed what the rest of them were up to. *grin* I do believe the other Dom got a blow job from his other women.

I had the thought at one point in the evening, that plenty of people would consider us to be sick freaks. I mean, the evening is totally outside of what most people do with their Saturday evenings. But this is definitely a case of “if it’s wrong I don’t want to be right.” Last night was among the hottest nights of my life. It was better than porn. Seriously.

The sybian was brought out, and each of our lady guests got turns riding it. It is amazing to watch a woman on the sybian. The look on her face is just beautiful. MasterDoc ran the controls and made each lady come over and over again, after they got his permission of course. Two of the ladies fooled around while one of them rode the sybian, I got prompted to join in after I was just sitting there watching the action. I got to watch pretty much all of the sybian rides, and my mouth was hanging open at how hot it was to watch. I was so horny! I was feeling a little left out and wondering when I’d get to have an orgasm, but I kept quiet and behaved myself. Luckily, the other Dom wanted to see me on the sybian as well. MasterDoc had me get my gag since it was late at night and we didn’t want my screams to disturb the neighbors. So, bit gag in mouth, I got on the sybian. MasterDoc positioned himself right in front of me so I could fall forward into his arms. He teased me and I was begging to come in no time. (Hard to do with the gag in my mouth. lol) He asked the other Dom if he thought I should be allowed to come yet, and he said not yet. So MasterDoc teased me a bit more. When he allowed me to come, my whole body convulsed and I grabbed at him, moaning through the gag.

This might be when we took a break to have pie, I can’t quite remember. While we were in the dining room, MasterDoc played with the clover clamps on the Canadian slave’s breasts. Youch. I can’t take them, but she rode through the pain. He got her to take the chain into her mouth, holding the clamps so they were pulling on her nipples roughly. I could tell the pain was turning her on. MasterDoc started playing with her cunt, and eventually she came as he slapped her clit. She even squirted across the table. (I was seated next to them and got splashed a little.)

Back in the living room, even more happened. Oh yes, you’re probably thinking damn, this night has been really hot so far, but oh I am a lucky girl and the night continued to get hotter. The Canadian slave went over to MasterDoc and they played a bit (I think she gave him a blow job, I’m not sure my back was turned). I was called over to the other Dom and he placed clothes pins on my nipples. He followed up with clothes pins all around my breasts. He then had me turn and show MasterDoc. Some pictures were taken (MasterDoc making sure that my face wasn’t in any of them). I was left like that for a little while. The clothespins pinched my flesh. When MasterDoc nudged to have the other Dom take them off it hurt while each one came off, but he had two of his ladies kiss and caress each spot as he took them off. The two continued to suck on my nipples, my very sensitive nipples. He had the third one come around behind me and stroke my head, meanwhile he (the other Dom) slid his fingers into my cunt. Oh my god the feeling was amazing having so many hands on my body. I begged to be allowed to come, and from the sofa MasterDoc taunted me, asking me if I was sure I wanted to come. He teased me while the other Dom played with my g-spot. When I was allowed to come I came hard yet again. Afterwards, MasterDoc told me I was a very good girl and I beamed. I’m positively swooning as I write this. I have the best time being a slut. I mean, really amazing fun.

Just when you’d think the night couldn’t get any better, the Canadian slave got fisted in front of all of us. I sat there, mesmerized, with a front row seat to watching her get fisted. Her Master’s entire hand fit inside her cunt. “Jesus Christ,” I thought, “This is cool!” I mean, how many people get up to this on a Saturday night? Before I knew it, I was being talked into fisting her as well. I had never fisted anyone before, so the Dom talked me through the whole process, gradually adding more fingers and more of my hand (and lots of lube) until my entire fist was inside her. When she came I could feel her vaginal muscles squeezing my hand. My hand remained inside her as he kissed her afterwards, forgotten. It was funny. Eventually it was like, “Oh I forgot your hand was in there!” and he had me take it gently out. She gave me a great kiss and cuddle afterwards and it was great to make another woman feel that good. It was totally hot. I’m sure I sound like a fourteen-year-old boy but, dude, last night was totally hot. *grin*

If I could have a night like that every night of my life I would never feel depressed. It was amazing. I hope that they come to play with us again sometime soon.

After they left, I cleaned up a bit and hung out with MasterDoc and Liz. We all agreed that they were nice people and we hope to see them again. It was just about bedtime for me when MasterDoc’s cock got hard. He said something about fucking me in the morning, but I was keen to get fucked then. (I just knew I’d want to sleep in as late as I could in the morning.) And, yippee!, he decided to fuck me. We went into the bedroom and he went down on me for a little while. He then fucked me from behind and he had me in a state in no time. I was moaning, dying to come. He fucked me hard and I struggled to hold back from coming. Then he gave me permission and I came, my muscles clenching his cock. It was a wonderful ending to a wonderful evening. I fell forward after, dazed. I cuddled up to MasterDoc and felt so very thankful to have him in my life. Today, I was sad to leave, uncertain when I get to see MasterDoc next. I really can’t get enough of him.

Addendum: I changed the title of this after MasterDoc reminded me that we already had a title for it – last night the other Dom came up with the joke of three thumbs up, i.e. his two thumbs and the dildo sticking up from the sybian. The new mark of a successful sexual encounter – three thumbs up!

And her butt turned a lovely shade of red

We were supposed to meet a couple off of Fetlife on Friday. I had mostly talked with the guy but the woman had started a correspondence with me recently as well. They were going to meet us at MasterDoc’s for dinner. The woman showed up without her man and I thought of how brave she was to meet some unknown couple, at the guy’s place, all by herself. We made jokes about axe murderers and how we could be axe murderers and how she could very well be one and we wouldn’t know it. You know, the usual jokes you make when meeting a stranger off the internet.

We enjoyed dinner and got on the topic of sex and bdsm. Apparently they’ve played sexually with other couples, and they’ve dipped their feet into bdsm, but they’re still very new to it and very interested in learning about it. After dinner, MasterDoc had me put my collar on, and he gave a demonstration of spanking and flogging on my ass. It felt different to have a woman watching than a man, the majority of the time when I have an audience of one it’s a man. I think it’s somehow a bigger turn on with a man, I think it feels more naughty. With a woman I think I worry more about feminist issues – can I still be respected as a feminist for submitting to this man? But in front of a man it feels like I’m just being a dirty girl, and I like that feeling. Interesting. With a woman I’m worried about her thinking less of me, but with a man I’m turned on by him thinking less of me. Desire is a complicated thing.

MasterDoc gave me a rough spanking, followed by some flogging. He then told me to reach between my legs and play with myself. I did so as they sat on the sofa behind me. I couldn’t see what might be going on. After a few moments, he had me pull up my pants and go grab the candle for waxing. He had me light the candle and let it sit, melted wax pooling up at the top. He had our guest get on her knees where I had just been, and he starts spanking her. Her pale skin turned a lovely red in no time at all. He gave her a demonstration of the flogger.

There was much laughter amongst the spanking and flogging. MasterDoc said it was better to keep things lighthearted, for if he was serious she would probably be scared. And so it was a laughter filled night. I know, you don’t envision bdsm and laughter going hand in hand. We moved to the bedroom to play with the wax. He had her bend over the edge of the bed and he spanked her some more. He dripped some hot wax on her butt and she didn’t flinch. She seems made of sterner stuff than I where the wax is concerned. He continued on, spanking and waxing. He motioned to me to stroke her arms and back as she lay face down on the bed. I did so and later she said that it helped her as it gave her something else to focus on. A few times she cried out that the spanking was too much, and MasterDoc would of course back off a little. Next he had her lay on her back, and he used more wax on her – this time going for the space where hip meets thigh – the spot that I find so agonizing. She actually reacted a bit to that. We each took a side and played with her nipples. He had me dig out the nipple clamps, and I could only find the ones that were broken on one side, so he just used a clamp on one nipple. (She has great nipples for clamps, the kind that look like pencil erasers.) He spanked her pussy and thighs.

I was a voyeur for most of this, just enjoying watching. Unfortunately I was getting tired so it wasn’t as easy to stay an engaged viewer as I would have liked. MasterDoc had me suck his cock for a while, and I did this as he continued to play with her body. It was all very hot, but I had work the next morning and soon had to be a party pooper and head off to bed.

In the morning, I asked him if anything interesting went on after I went to bed. He said no, they didn’t even have sex, mostly they talked. Then he said, “Oh wait, I was going to tell you I fucked her up the ass and let you blog that.” I’m sure that would have gotten an interesting response. “What?!”